Feel confused

[Fifilafo]

Hi everyone, this week i miscarried at 6 weeks, i found it really tough both mentally and physically, i am 36 and was ttc for my first. I’m so worried this will happen again. I bled from the day my period my due but bloods showed hcg were doubling week 4. Week 5 i started cramping, hcg levels went down then miscarried week 6. I suppose my question is - is it a bad sign that i bled from the day my period my due? I’m just confused because hcg levels went up for a week after? I have O -RH blood so also worried this might be an issue as in my 20s i can an abortion at 8weeks and never got an anti d immunoglobulin shot. I also always spot 3-5 days before my period is due. Is there something ive been doing wrong or should do differently when trying next time?

@Fifilafo so very sorry for your loss.

The short answer is no. You've not done anything wrong. Sadly 1 in 4 pregnancies ends this way.. it's just not very talked about. Since my own loss 2 weeks ago I've been astounded by the number of women I know who have come forward with their own stories of loss.

A first trimester loss is highly likely to have been chromosomal - IE something just not quite right with little ones building blocks. There is also a chance it relates to your hormones and I believe if you had bleeding etc then you ought to be offered progesterone for future pregnancies but I'm sure others with more experience can clarify that for you.

Try not to torment yourself too much. I have come to see that one loss is not a pattern and is unfortunately statistically one of those things (albeit an extremely sad one and you have every right to feel whatever you're feeling). Don't be disheartened. When you feel able to, hopefully you can try again and your little rainbow baby will come along soon. X

P.S. no experience of the -RH blood sorry, have you tried asking your EPU about this?

Thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot, i’m also so sorry for your loss and hope you are doing ok xx

i will talk to my doctor about progesterone next week. A few weeks ago a doc at my hospital appointment said they only really look into possible issues if there’s been more than 3 consecutive miscarriages which seems a bit crazy to me 🤷‍♀️

Even though they look into it very often there is no definitive reason as to why women miscarry more than others. There is a huge amount regarding fertility and conception that is not known and probably never will be known.

Im sorry for your losses. I've had 2 losses then had my daughter and I have just had a chem preg and now a MMC this weekend. It's so hard because you want an answer to why so you can learn for next time but sadly there is no why in most cases.