16 week loss

[Vie8126]

Can anyone help or give some advice I went for a private gender scan yest with both mums and my dp and unfortunately there was no heartbeat. I had to go to hospital to have it confirmed and waiting to have a call to arrange an induction. Im just devastated I'm frightened and scared. The hospital told us it's a baby girl I just have so many questions like what will happen to her after? My midwife mentioned there is a surgical option but it isn't recommended my dp thinks that's the best way and can't seem to understand that I don't think it is it won't settle my mind. I've not slept all I can do is cry or I have the scanner ladies words going round and round in my head. I'm just at a loss with whys etc.

@Vie8126
You keep talking to us here but I use to bottle my feelings up.
When I had lost my baby boy I remember I went off to the cinema I think.
A lot of people said I was brave but didn't feel like it. At the time my friends were pregnant even a cousin.
I never got counselling but midwife referring me to rainbow.
Sorry your going to leave your job but hope you found something else.
Just take each day as it comes.
I'm still worried but will go for private scan. I still hope everything is fine though.
I hope you and your OH are okay. Keep talking to each other.

@Scorpio8 my family and friends will tell you I bottled it up I remember my mum saying to me ‘you will have to cry for this baby at some point’ I kept it in and hidden I still don’t talk about it really dp and I find it hard to talk about it between ourselves. We have had a few triggers and more coming up (due date) no one asks about it anymore and I find that sad not that I want to talk about it all the time but like people have forgotten her. Confronting another pregnant person whilst you are in the depths of grief is horrible. My 3rd day back at work someone on my team sent me a photo of their new grandchild it rocked me to the core if I’m honest. I am completely a different person now as we all are and my work place is a constant reminder and huge driver for intense anxiety because of that. It feels the right time to move on.

I am glad your midwife is referring you for counselling I have found it immensely helpful to voice my worries concerns and feelings away from people who know me. I understand your feelings, concern and worry around the scan they are only natural the private scan sounds like it could be a great reassurance for you although I am sure you will be terribly worried beforehand. I’m here to listen to your worries you are also not alone. Take each day as it comes.