Tiredandobsessed · 30/06/2021 11:56
Hi, I'm wondering if anyone can offer any insight. Unfortunately today we have had a miscarriage confirmed, a week after seeing a failing heartbeat on a 7w reassurance scan, it's my first pregnancy after a very long journey to get here so we are obviously devastated.
We have been offered the usual- wait for mother nature (have no faith in her), medical management, surgical management or MVA. I'm swinging towards MVA but I was just wondering if anyone who has had any of the 3 latter procedures can tell me if they had another scan before the procedure to definitely confirm the miscarriage?
I will ask the EPAU when I next speak to them in a couple of days but now I've thought of this question I can't stop thinking of it, the joys of hormones hey!
Sending love & hugs to anyone who has been or is going through this x
Tiredandobsessed · 30/06/2021 17:49
nacarlos89 · 30/06/2021 19:30
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your mmc. I had one 3 weeks ago which would be my second loss this year so I know how heartbroken you must be ❤️ I opted for surgical management because there was no sign that my body was going to start naturally and I think I just wanted it over with.
My mmc was confirmed at a private scan and the nhs never bothered scanning to confirm the loss which I thought was a bit odd. However, if you opt for surgical management with local anaesthetic then the scan you as they're doing it.
I found the whole procedure heartbreaking and a little uncomfortable but it was over in a matter of 20 mins. It was three weeks ago today and still getting a little bit of brown discharge every now and then.
Hope this helps x
Tiredandobsessed · 30/06/2021 19:50
Thank you for your reply @nacarlos89 it does help and I'm sorry to hear about your losses too. I just feel so incredibly alone, I don't know anyone who's been through this before (or anyone who's shared it).
I think that's why I want surgical management too, to try & claw back a little bit of control and like you say to get it over with without sounding cold. That's good to know that they scan at the same time, I know it won't change anything but I just didn't get the same vibe from the sonographer today than the one last week & really just want someone else to look, silly I know x
nacarlos89 · 30/06/2021 23:26
I completely understand, it is such a lonely time but it will get better. I don't know anyone who has been through it either but I think it's more common that we think but is not spoken about much.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting another scan first because that is how I felt bug I think the difference was with me, is that I knew the baby wasn't growing properly as I'd had a scan before being told the heartbeat had stopped.
I'm back at the EPU tomorrow for another scan as the test line is still way stronger than the control line on a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the surgery. Apparently retaining tissue is really uncommon but trust it to happen to me.
Hope you manage to make the best decision for you. Let me know if you need any support x
Ter2021 · 01/07/2021 00:03
@Tiredandobsessed I’m so sorry for your loss 😔💐
I know it’s not easy, i had a scan which confirmed my miscarriage on Monday, I also opted for the surgical procedure which took place Monday afternoon.
I was bleeding and cramping for 6 days before I could get scanned. It was a very difficult decision for me but I didn’t feel I was strong enough to pass the baby myself at home. 😔 I cried everytime I saw blood when I used the loo. The hospital staff were wonderful and made a very difficult time a little easier for me.
Do what’s right for you and Be kind to yourself x x
Tiredandobsessed · 01/07/2021 08:01
@narcarlos89 I hope it all goes ok at the EPAU today, I thought the surgical options were meant to be more efficient for removing everything but I suppose there's always an exception. Do you feel ok in yourself otherwise? No temp or anything? Ditto, here for you too if you need to chat x
@Ter2021 Thank you & I'm sorry for your loss too. That's awful that you had to wait 6 days to be scanned but so very brave of you to have the procedure straight away, I was given the option of today but I had to decide yesterday straight after being told the news and I couldn't do that so now I've got to wait over the weekend. I don't mind the wait as such it's more I'm scared it's going to start at home on its own & I hate the thought of flushing the baby down the toilet. I used to be such a strong woman but this has just floored me! I'm so glad that the hospital staff were good to you, I hope you're being good to yourself too x
nacarlos89 · 01/07/2021 13:56
@Tiredandobsessed I think there's always a small chance that you can retain some of the pregnancy but less chance than other options.
Just got back from the EPU and all looks ok. They said there's a dark area in my womb which she thought was another sac and asked if I could be pregnant again. I had the procedure 3 weeks ago yesterday and only had sex once last Saturday with protection so I think that's almost impossible 🙈😂 She said it must be a little bit of blood just waiting to come out. Other than that all good. Just can't wait for my period to arrive now so it feels like it's complete and I can start to move on.
@Ter2021 I understand what you mean about not wanting to pass the baby at home, that's exactly how I felt. Hope you're doing ok.
Tiredandobsessed · 01/07/2021 21:16
@nacarlos89 Glad that it went ok as can be today and I hope that things get back to 'normal' for you soon.
It's a weird feeling isn't it, wanting it all to be over but also not wanting it to be happening either x
Ter2021 · 01/07/2021 21:38
Thank guys, I feel ya!
I know I need to feel the pain so that I can grieve but I don’t think I’m ready to accept it yet 🤷🏻♀️
Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way
RubaiyatOfAnyone · 01/07/2021 22:25
When this happened to me about 2 years ago at the 12 week scan, i went for surgical management for the reasons pp have given - I just wanted it over and to be in control. I never regretted that. The staff were brilliant, it was as calm and reassuring as it could be. Not directly connected, I conceived about 5 months later and had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Best wishes to you, it is a truly awful time but it does hurt less over time.
TheDaydreamBelievers · 02/07/2021 20:10
I had surgical under GA @Tiredandobsessed and was scanned 3 times. Once which found MMC, they immediately called in another tech to scan again to check, then 2 days prior to op I asked them to scan again as mentally i wasnt accepting it was over and was worried theyd made a mistake. They were absolutely happy to.
Tiredandobsessed · 07/07/2021 09:27
Hi, just thought if give a little update incase anyone ever has the same question as me.
I decided to go for an MVA which I had yesterday, I had to go in the day before to sign all the paperwork and I explained that some of my symptoms that had disappeared had come back and asked if I could have another scan before the procedure for reassurance and to help accept the mc, they were absolutely fine with it which was good as I'm not sure I could of gone through it without another scan. The consultant yesterday showed me exactly what she could & couldn't see and I felt better to have the procedure.
I personally found the MVA quite painful which shocked me as I've a good pain threshold normally. I also had really bad cramps at home yesterday evening that took my breath away but I've woke up today with barely any pain so hope that this continues.
I hope everyone is doing ok x
nacarlos89 · 07/07/2021 09:49
@Tiredandobsessed I'm glad you were able to have another scan to make you feel better about the procedure. I'm sorry that you've been in pain from it but hopefully now that will ease and you'll start to feel like you have a bit of closure on it.
My procedure was 4 weeks ago today and the bleeding was very minimal. I was getting some pain last week and pregnancy tests were still very strong but another scan showed there was no retained tissue. I'm just having my hcg levels monitored atm and hoping they will be back to zero by next week.
I think we're going to start trying again after I've had a natural period so I'm hoping that comes soon. Part of me feels bad for trying to move on so quick but at the same time, feel that the longer I wait the more I feel upset and sad about everything. The next pregnancy will be my third so if I lose that one too, at least I will get a referral to the recurrent miscarriage unit.
Sending you lots of love and I hope you're doing ok ❤️
Tiredandobsessed · 07/07/2021 11:06
I know exactly what you mean. I asked yesterday about TTC again and like you they said to wait until after first period but part of me, like you, feels bad for wanting to be pregnant again when I'm still so upset about this and part of me isn't sure I can deal with BFN each month or even worse another MC. How did you cope with your second pregnancy? Were you really anxious, could you get excited at all? I'd feel bad to not enjoy something that is so special but it's so scary x
urghicba · 07/07/2021 11:29
@Tiredandobsessed I had a medical miscarriage yesterday. My babies heartbeat had stop 4 weeks ago unfortunately.
I hope you're okay
nacarlos89 · 07/07/2021 11:31
@Tiredandobsessed I think personally, it makes me feel better to keep trying rather than leave it longer and struggle with the thoughts that it might happen again.
The second pregnancy I was a lot more anxious than the first and having a mc takes away that magic of being pregnant forever. Initially I was really happy with the positive test and as the weeks went on I just felt more and more anxious. I googled every little symptom and did tests all the time to make sure the line wasn't fading. But what I've realised now is that doing all that is pointless because it won't change the outcome, it just makes you feel mentally drained. Try and relax about next time because the odds of you having another mc are so small, I was really unlucky to have 2 and may be in the small minority who continue to have them.
I think going forward, I'm going to take the relaxed approach I should have in the second pregnancy. Try and not test until I get past my period as it only makes the pregnancy last longer. I'll try and ignore pregnancy symptoms and not make myself paranoid by googling everything. The only thing I will do the same is get a reassurance scan maybe at 7-8 weeks because I couldn't bare the thought of waiting for the 12 week one only to find that it stopped growing a lot earlier on.
Fingers crossed for our future pregnancies 🤞
Tiredandobsessed · 07/07/2021 14:39
So sorry to hear that @urghicba, sending a virtual hug, I know how much it hurts.
@nacarlos89 thank you for the advice, I hope you manage to listen to it yourself next time too, I know it's easier said than done. The EPAU said they'd scan at 6 weeks & 9 weeks if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again, the wait until 12 weeks would be torturous without!!
Wishing us all our happy ever afters 💕
Tiredandobsessed · 12/07/2021 18:17
Me again! To those that had MVA how long were you in pain for afterwards? I had mine a week ago tomorrow and feel like the pain is getting worse, it's a constant tenderness which if I try to do anything eg walk/hoovering, later that day I have bad cramps. Is it normal to still be needing regular pain relief a week later? I've no temp or discharge, just losing a little old blood still. Not sure if I'm just being a a mard? x
nacarlos89 · 12/07/2021 18:33
@Tiredandobsessed I think I had niggly pains a week after but not enough to stop me doing things. They went away and came back which is why I went for a scan to make sure there was no retained tissue.
Maybe give the EPU a call and ask about the pain as im not sure if it's standard. It's a good sign that you're not bleeding though.
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