AIBU to be this petrified of getting a D&C?

[FineAlrightThen]

Content warnings here: pregnancy loss, talking about what happened, describing medical options

Well I've just found out nearly 2 weeks ago that our second child stopped growing after I went in for an ultrasound after a bleed, this was 9 weeks when I found out and it looks like the pregnancy stopped around 7 weeks.

I feel as if I shouldn't be this emotional about it but it's been a really sh*t situation.

I haven't completed the process on my own and my doctor wants to do a D&C now, tomorrow, which I'm booked for. I was prescribed misoprostol to help along the process but after reading about it online I just don't know if I want to put myself through that. Plus there's a chance you may need the D&C anyway with that. She explained it as a suction D&C and they do "very gentle light curettage". Whatever that means. I know what it means, but it doesn't set my mind at ease let's just say that.

It's not so much the anaesthesia I'm petrified of (that certainly does not help, but I'm more calm about it after having a real GA last year for an unrelated surgery which ended up being bliss, this is under "twilight") but complications from a D&C. I just want to try again ASAP and I'm afraid this is going to cause some sort of scarring. I asked about a less invasive procedure and she said no, she does this one to be most thorough. Perhaps it's the "gold standard" now, and I know she's not an idiot if she's gone through medical training but it's hard to put my fertility in anyone's hands.

Don't know what I'm aiming for with this post. Perhaps a handhold, or to put into perspective if I should really be this petrified. It's an emotional time and I'm desperate to try again. If anyone's gone through similar, or could offer some experience I'd appreciate it. Just mainly want to know if my fears about future fertility are warranted or if I'm just in a general state right now and everything's the end of the world. It's hard to tell. Were you able to conceive without issues straight away after a D&C (after you were cleared), if you really tried? Doctor said wait for one cycle to resume then we can start again. Can't wait for this week to be over.

My DM had a D&C which went horrifically wrong - sorry probably not what you want to hear - BUT she went on to have more children despite the doctors not being sure she'd be able to due to the scarring.

@SittingAround1 Thank you for the honesty though! Do you know what happened at all? I read that they used to do heavy curettage in the past so I wonder when your DM had it if things were different then or if it is just a flawed procedure in general.

I'm so sorry for your loss .

I had this procedure after a loss at 17 weeks. I was induced, but the placenta didn't come away, so had the D&C under a general. Not that that was necessary but I couldn't stop crying and so worried that I'd move at the wrong moment and they'd injure me.

The procedure went well. There are no guarantees, of course, but this is indeed standard and if your doctor recommends it and she's not otherwise a quack, then I would trust her.

I did too much too soon, so fainted on day 3 after, but my OBGYN put me on the pill for three months and told me to take it easy. I was most upset about being put on the pill when all I wanted was to get pregnant again straight away, but the OBGYN explained a) my body needed it, b) my psyche needed it and c) women coming off this pill reported falling pregnant very quickly.

All 3 proved true. I was pregnant again within 4 months of the loss and my little miracle is now a head taller than me.

I wish you all the best and hope that you will have your own little miracle soon.

My sis had a D&C under similar circumstances just over 2 years ago. She got pregnant last year. She had discomfort and bleeding afterwards but nothing some painkillers couldn't deal with. I'm sorry for your loss

Hi OP
I've been through both a natural early miscarriage at 8 weeks (nov 19) then a surgical miscarriage at same gestation (last March) By far the surgical option was easiest, it was over so quickly, practically painless and i was actually surprised it how straightforward it was. Compared to waiting for the natural m/c to happen which was utter torture. My period returned to normal within about 6 weeks of the surgery and I fell pregnant again in June. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with a baby girl 🥰🥰so personally I understand your anxiety about this but it was the best option for me

Sorry you're experiencing this xx

I had an emergency D&C abroad over Christmas 2019 (had MMC, was given Misoprostol, looked like it had worked and was advised by Dr I could continue my holiday if I wanted as "no medical reason I couldn't" - which was not true).
Anyway though, D&C was done under General anaesthetic and honestly I felt fine physically as soon as I woke up from the anaesthetic.
I did feel similar worries about whether it could have caused any scarring or fertility issues but I am now 37 weeks pregnant (as of tomorrow) and so it really didnt take that long at all to conceive

I'm sorry to hear your news OP.

I've had 3 d&cs / Erpc but all under general. I literally drifted into a sleep then woke up in recovery. The op takes about fifteen mins - it's very quick really.

You have bleeding afterwards but it's like a bad period- nothing on what medical management would entail!

Can you ask for general?

Ps just remembered it's four d&cs I've had 🤨. I've had five pregnancies and only one baby (pregnancy 3). There is a risk of uterus perforation but the odds are very low.

So sorry to hear this. I had a d&c nov 2017. I was terrified,but it went absolutely fine. I fell pregnant feb 2018 and had son and also had a daughter last year. Prior to my d&c id had two miscarriages. Hope all goes ok.

I was advised that the safest way for them to do it is by hysteroscopy (which can still be under general). That way they can see what they are removing, whereas in the past it was basically blind suction. Might be worth checking to reassure you.

And YANBU. I think it's perfectly normal to worry and be scared.

OP it's utterly shit, especially at the moment.
For a positive note, I had to have the op in very similar circumstances. Recovery was fine, had first period, then fell pregnant the next month. She turns 5 next month.

Wishing you all the best

Hi OP.

I had a D&C under GA after an incomplete miscarriage. Unfortunately I did get an infection afterwards but being as baby died at 8 weeks and didn’t miscarry until 12 weeks it could have been for that reason as well as the surgery. The hospital experience was absolutely fine, they were great actually.

It was 4 years ago but I think I had it at the beginning of April. First period in May, DS2 was conceived in June. He turns 3 in March.

Thinking of you

Please don't worry. I had one under general anaesthetic for a 'blighted ovum' 20 plus years ago and went on to have 2 successful pregnancies thereafter. It's the best option.

I had an ERPC in Dec 2012 under GA following a mmc discovered at 13 week scan. It was distressing obviously, but the procedure itself very quick and straight forward. Little to no pain afterwards, normal period exactly 4 weeks later, no problems whatsoever. Had a successful birth in July 2014. Please don’t worry. Thinking of you.

I’ve had three in total. One following the birth of DC2 for retained placenta and two for missed miscarriages. I’d always recommend having one over the misoprostol. I haemorrhaged and needed an emergency ERPC and blood transfusions after I had misoprostol. The trauma and the physical and emotional pain was just enormous, I ended up with PTSD.

The ERPC was far easier. Put to sleep, wake up crying and emotionally fucked but physically it’s much better. Please be kind to yourself, it’s an incredibly difficult and lonely thing to experience. I’m sorry for your loss.

Im so terribly sorry for your loss. I had a horrible ERPC after missed miscarriage of baby 3 at 9 weeks. Started an infection afterwards and scan showed whole womb totally full of blood etc. I don't know what they got out but they left a lot behind... I was on IV antibiotics and then just before the next operation I basically miscarried again in hospital. Traumatic but no lasting physical effects. Have subsequently had DC3 and 4 with no problems at all, I really feel they are little miracles and can't believe my luck. DC 3 conceived within 3 months of the ERPC. I hope it goes smoothly, whatever you choose to do and that you eventually get your happy ending.

I've had one, to remove fibroids before having IVF. It was okay and I got pregnant the following month - my doctor said that the healing process from a D&C is a good way of encouraging pregnancy.

Hi OP, I'm sorry for your loss. I've had a couple of D&Es - one following a coil that got stuck and two following early miscarriages. Not had any bad effects from any of them. Main feeling was sadness after the miscarriages. After the first miscarriage I waited a month and tried again and then conceived DS straight away (now a young man!) We didn't try again after the second miscarriage for reasons not related to the D&E.

The process is very quick, with what they call a "short" general anaesthetic. One thing to be prepared for - the doctor asked if I was OK to have two medical students having a poke about as part of their training. (Well she didn't use quite those words!) I said just the one as I was feeling vulnerable, the doctor was happy with that. I could have said no to both.

Wishing you well for tomorrow

Definitely go for the D&C and please try to worry. I was faced with the same decision in the same situation 4 years ago. Midwife strongly recommended surgical management over medical management. They booked me in for less than 48 hours later. It was absolutely fine. I'm very grateful that I took that approach as I think it was ultimately the emotionally and physically easier way. I was pregnant again with my now 3 year old 6 weeks later. I was 37 at the time, so no spring chicken.

please try *NOT to worry.

I've had a few miscarriages and was booked in for a d&c for the last one at 12 weeks, but they couldn't do it for four days. I started the process naturally but after three days of constant, painful contractions I started passing out. DH took me to hospital and they saw the state I was in and said they needed to try and do the procedure without anaesthetic because I was in a bad way.

Roughly five minutes later she hoiked out pregnancy matter which was sat on my cervix causing the constant contractions and bleeding.

I was very anaemic but ok. I wish I could have had the d&c earlier and avoided the three days of horrible pain.

You will be fine.

@FineAlrightThen so sorry for your loss.

In 1972 my MIL ended up having a D&C done whilst she was (unbeknown to her) pregnant with my partner. Somehow he was tucked away at the top of what they think must be a heart shaped uterus and they missed him totally. She was terrified for the rest of the pregnancy but he was fine and she was fine and she went on to have another baby a few years later.
The sedation / anaesthetic drugs these days are really good and I'm sure that it will be all over before you know it. Best of luck

Hi OP, so very sorry for your loss. I had a D&C just under a year ago after a MMC (discovered at 12 weeks, measured 7 weeks). I didn't find the recovery to be too bad but do take it easy for a few days. I conceived again on my sixth cycle after the D&C and I am currently just shy of 29 weeks pregnant. I know a couple of other people who have had D&Cs with no issues either. Definitely can understand your nervousness but complications are rare

FineAlrightThen They perforated her uterus so they had to cut her open to sew up the uterus from the outside (I think).

This was back in the 80s though and I think she was extremely unlucky.
But as I said she fell pregnant after and recovered fine.