AIBU to be this petrified of getting a D&C?

[FineAlrightThen]

Content warnings here: pregnancy loss, talking about what happened, describing medical options

Well I've just found out nearly 2 weeks ago that our second child stopped growing after I went in for an ultrasound after a bleed, this was 9 weeks when I found out and it looks like the pregnancy stopped around 7 weeks.

I feel as if I shouldn't be this emotional about it but it's been a really sh*t situation.

I haven't completed the process on my own and my doctor wants to do a D&C now, tomorrow, which I'm booked for. I was prescribed misoprostol to help along the process but after reading about it online I just don't know if I want to put myself through that. Plus there's a chance you may need the D&C anyway with that. She explained it as a suction D&C and they do "very gentle light curettage". Whatever that means. I know what it means, but it doesn't set my mind at ease let's just say that.

It's not so much the anaesthesia I'm petrified of (that certainly does not help, but I'm more calm about it after having a real GA last year for an unrelated surgery which ended up being bliss, this is under "twilight") but complications from a D&C. I just want to try again ASAP and I'm afraid this is going to cause some sort of scarring. I asked about a less invasive procedure and she said no, she does this one to be most thorough. Perhaps it's the "gold standard" now, and I know she's not an idiot if she's gone through medical training but it's hard to put my fertility in anyone's hands.

Don't know what I'm aiming for with this post. Perhaps a handhold, or to put into perspective if I should really be this petrified. It's an emotional time and I'm desperate to try again. If anyone's gone through similar, or could offer some experience I'd appreciate it. Just mainly want to know if my fears about future fertility are warranted or if I'm just in a general state right now and everything's the end of the world. It's hard to tell. Were you able to conceive without issues straight away after a D&C (after you were cleared), if you really tried? Doctor said wait for one cycle to resume then we can start again. Can't wait for this week to be over.

Mine was fine, no complications. I was really nervous and upset at the time but i recovered quickly and since had 2 healthy pregnancies soon after it. I never think about the procedure now.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please do give yourself permission to feel sad about it. You say you 'shouldn't' be emotional but I think it's completely natural to feel very sad, and if you are sad, you deserve time to acknowledge those feelings. It's a horrible thing to have happen.

FWIW I had a D&C years ago; I worried it'd impact on fertility but I've had a lot of checks and everything indicates it didn't. More recently I was TTC and had an operation on one of my ovaries, and my consultant - who is really good and very well respected - said that reproductive organs are designed to heal very fast. They have also evolved to work even when they've had some damage. I don't know if that's in any way comforting, but it was for me. I imagined that if I'd had damage to those organs, it'd be like a deep cut or a broken bone and it'd take ages to heal, and I found it helpful to be told that it really isn't that way.

I hope the operation goes smoothly and you're back to normal soon.

I'm sorry for your loss x

I had a missed MC 3 years ago, pretty much the same timings as you - I found out at around 9 weeks. I opted for management with misoprostol as I thought that's got to be better than surgery, right? Wrong, in my case anyway - I know that's not the case for everyone. It didn't work for me at all, and those 3-4 days waiting for something to happen that never did were distressing. I was then offered the D+C and was terrified. It was fine though, I recovered quickly (physically, at least) and it was such a relief for the physical side of the process to be over. I conceived again 6 months later and had a healthy pregnancy. After my experience, I said that if ever I was unfortunate enough to go through it again, I'd choose the D+C straight away, no doubt. As it was, I never needed to. I conceived again 6 months later and went on to have a healthy pregnancy.

Wishing you well for tomorrow x

When women undergo ivf they are sometimes offered a procedure called endometrial scratch, where a surgical tool is inserted into the uterus and some scratches are introduced into the endometrium. It has been shown to actually facilitate implantation rather than discourage it. Even though the D&C is a different procedure it is still a sort of "injury" to the inside of the womb that might actually be beneficial in terms of getting pregnant again quickly.

I’ve had two and had a successful pregnancy after each. It’s over so quickly and you can heal and grieve without all the horribleness.

I don't want to be a voice of Doom but I went in for a standard D&C and ended up with Asherman's syndrome. This is basically uterine scaring that makes it very difficult to concieve as it is difficult for implantation to take place.
It took about a year to be diagnosed and another year for investigations etc. I wanted to have my children close together and it was heartbreaking. First that it would be extremely hard to concieve and whether it would happen at all. I vowed to be honest if anyone asked if I regretted the d&c as I just wish I'd given it more time to happen naturally. I also find this hard to write as I want to be reassuring but I also want to be truthful. This happened in August 2013 ( which seems a while ago now!!):
Anyway, we were at the initial stages of looking to adopt and I discovered I was pregnant. The pregnancy was fine but I needed additional monitoring and my perfect daughter was born by planned c-section in June 2016.
I know we sign the risk assessments but I always regretted I didn't know the potential implications x I hope it works well for you.

Sorry for your loss.
I had a MMC October 2019 at 10 weeks gestation. I went for the medical management, but it was incomplete, they offered me a second round of medical management but I still had remaining products so ended up with a D&C. Wish I had gone for that straight away. I had one cycle and conceived. I'm very lucky to be laying next to my 16 week old. In my opinion the tablet option was the worse thing I could have done, but everyone is different. The recovery from the surgery under GA was quick with no issues. Wishing you the best of luck x

Hi OP, I had surgical management after failed medical management in October 2019. It was absolutely fine, no pain at all, really light bleeding, was home within an hour of waking up from the anaesthetic. I was also worried about the effect it would have on conceiving again.

I'm now 26 weeks pregnant :)

Will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

Hi @FineAlrightThen just to let you know that we've moved this over to the 'miscarriage/pregnancy loss' folder where you should get some useful responses.

Hey @FineAlrightThen I'm sorry for your loss. I recently discovered a MMC at 12 weeks - baby had died at 10+5. Heartbroken as we had a scan at 10+2 and all looked fantastic.

I had ERPC under general at the end of November. I spoke to the team at the hospital but also a family friend who is a gynaecology consultant about risks. The risk of infection is the same across medical and surgical intervention (and I think in natural MC too). The risk of uterine scarring or ashermans is extremely low, and is more likely if you have had a previous C Section.

The procedure itself was as good as it could have been - pain free recovery. Had a week off but that was for the emotional side not physical side. Now trying again.