Still waiting for the inevitable

[indecisivewoman81]

Hi everyone. I've been lurking on this board since Thursday when I found out at 11 weeks that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and my womb was full of blood.

Having to be in the rook on my own with my husband waiting outside expecting good news will haunt me for ever.

I have to go back I'm next Thursday for a re scan and been told to wait it out.

I have only had small amounts of spotting although my back feels achey and I can't stop crying.

What I want to know is, when will it properly start? I have two children at home and I don't want them to witness anything.

I feel like I am in limbo and frightened by the next steps the pain and blood.

Can anyone offer any advice? A hand hold x

How is everyone doing now? I hope you are all beginning to heal both physically and emotionally.

I am very up and down not helped by a whole run of bad luck lately. I wish this year was just over now. Everywhere I look are beautiful big bumps and I am jealous and sad inside.

Xx

Hi @indecisivewoman81 it’s nice of you to check in. So sorry to hear how you’re feeling and that you’ve had a run of back luck. 2020 has sucked in so many ways!
I finally had my negative pregnancy test today- 6 weeks after the scan that told us it was a miscarriage - so I do feel a sense of relief. We’re not quite decided whether to start trying again straight away etc but I think I really want to. Not sure if I’m emotionally ready for what that means though. xx

Hi @pixienewbie im glad that you have a negative test now (it's so odd to say that when all we want is a positive one). It means your body is moving on and healing like it should.

I haven't taken a test. But I'm sure it will be negative as I had three scans in total and the final one was completely clear.

I know what you mean about being emotionally ready. No one can tell you when the time is right. Only you and your partner will know. Xx

Hi @indecisivewoman81 & @pixienewbie

Glad to hear you've had a negative test @pixienewbie

@indecisivewoman81 I know what you mean. One of my best friends is due in a couple of weeks and it's so hard and everyone seems to be announcing their pregnancy's. It's really tough.

It'll be 3 weeks on Wednesday since the miscarriage but I'm still getting positive tests. So frustrating but I know it takes time. If it's still positive on Wednesday I need to call the hospital.

Hi everyone - hope u dont mind be jumping in on your post. just read through all your posts on this thread. wow - there is so much sadness we have to go through isnt there, so sorry to read all of your posts, but sounded like you have all got so much support from each other.
whilst u were all posting these i was blissfully unaware of what was happening to us and thinking we were progressing nicely with our pregnancy... until finding out we had a MMC 10.5weeks. everything happened naturally since, and i'm trying to now get my head around everything that's happened now the physical aspects and pain side of things are subsiding. It's so weird being back at work, as physically feeling so much better, but just got total brain fog and can't concentrate on anything .
Got to say these posts have really helped though as cant remember who said it above, but i found the kinda gushing of when everything came out was fairly traumatic; never ever expected that, and then finding some clots were just stuck and wouldnt come out was awful - feel like some images will live with me forever. at the time i just wanted it over, but now had follow up scan to confirm everything had gone - im now dwelling on twhat all of that gushing was (if that makes sense) and just coming to terms with fact everything is over.
today i didnt return some maternity clothes when sending a clothes order back of stuff that wasnt suitable...and shoved it all in the back of my cupboard hoping that one day might need it!
also with lockdown looming i did the weirdest purchase today the obvious combination of...sanitary towels, ovulation tests, pregnancy tests...!
anyway sorry for jumping in and for the long post, but hope everyone is doing ok, and glad to hear (in that strange way) that pregnancy tests are starting to become negative. xx

Hi everyone,

So sorry you hear of your experiences. I’ve been searching for a couple of weeks to find anyone who’s had a similar experience to me.

I’m still going through it and am very confusing and don’t have the answers but I hope you don’t mind me sharing, it might help me make sense of it all by going through it but
on 14th sept I found out I was 2-3 weeks pregnant. On 23rd October I woke up with bleeding, as if I’d just come on my period.
I tried all day to contact the EPU but apparently their phones were down. I finally got through the next day and a nurse rang me back, asked a few questions and said if it’s no better by Monday, call back.

It was no better and I tried all day again to get through but couldn’t, I had to get my GP to call them and get them to contact me. They booked me in for a can the following week.

I was still bleeding at this point and naively didn’t realise it would be an internal scan so that wasn’t a pleasant experience. The sonographer told me it looks like a failed pregnancy, and that it doesn’t look as it should according to the dates. It looked how it would at maybe 5 weeks.
I wasn’t expecting to hear good news so I wasn’t shocked, but I was still unsure as to what was happening.
I then had to wait alone in the waiting room for 50 minutes before another nurse called me. I had to have an internal check and she told me my cervix was closed and that was ‘good’. No idea what she meant by that.
She made me another appointment for the following week

That night I bled a lot and had awful cramps and passed some clots so I was convinced this was the end of it all.

Went to the next scan and the sonographer told me there had been a slight change since the last scan. It’s still ‘abnormal’ and now looking how it should, no heartbeat but I’ll have to come back again.
She then took me to a quiet room and a nurse came and explained a bit more that they can’t do anything yet but will have to see again next week. But I might miscarry in the mean time

So now I’m waiting til Tuesday for my next scan. I’ve been terrified I’m about to miscarry at any point and confused as I thought I already had.

the bleeding has decreased massively, so There’s only some brown spotting but overall I do feel rubbish.

I feel like the uncertainty and confusion of all of this is actually affecting me more than the fact I’ve had/am having a failed pregnancy

I’m really hoping to get some clearer answers at the next appointment as I feel completely in limbo and like I can’t move on.

Has anyone else had the same experience where there’d been a change from the last scan even though you thought it was kind of all over?

I’m just really nervous about the next appointment and the thought of having to miscarry naturally as it sounds horrific

Sending love to you all, sorry if that sounds like ranting I’m still trying to make sense of it all x

Hi ladies. I'm sorry we didn't reply to the last 2 messages @rumples & @dazedandconfused170.

How are you all doing? Hope everything has settled for everyone.

The reason I've come back is just to finish off my story as its always frustrating to find threads just stopped.

So to summarise me, I had my NHS dating scan on the 28th of September at 11 weeks, only to discover baby had stopped growing at 9+1 weeks. I had to go back the following week (5th Oct) to confirm no progress & to discuss options for management. I opted for medical management and went into hospital for that the following day (6th). I had a small bit of plecenta retained so I had more meds the following day after my overnight stay and sent home and I thought I'd passed it on the Friday (9th Oct). The bleeding slowed down but didn't stop. I took a pregnancy test at the 3 weeks from the 9th and unfortunately it was still positive. I was rescanned and they confirmed I had retained products and was given another dose of misoprostol on 30th October. I then took a pregancy test 1 week later 6th November and it was negative. So exactly 1 month after going into hospital I thought it was finally over, I just needed the bleeding to stop which it would do in a week or so.

Unfortunately it wasn't the case for me. On the 27th November (3 weeks after the negative result) I was still lightly bleeding so I called EPU again and they said for some people it can take a bit longer and as long as its lighter it should settle. I did mention that the bleeding had gone a it cloudy in colour and they just said it could be old blood and as I had no other symptoms it's unlikely to be infection, but to call in a week or 2 if it doesn't settle or gets worse.

Last week, December 4th, I decided to call again. The bleeding/discharge still hadnt stopped. It wasn't worse but it wasn't better. I was really fed up. They said it could be my hormones were out of sync. I'd had a BFN so the likelyhood of it being retained products is very low. They encouraged me to get on touch with my GP about it all so I called the GP and got an appointment for this week. I finally managed to speak to my GP on Thursday and she was super helpful but quite concerned that I was still bleeding and that EPU hadn't done a 2nd scan after the last lot of misoprostol to confirm an empty uterus. And she also wanted to check I didn't have an infection. So off I go on Friday 11th December for ANOTHER scan and lo and behold - retained tissues 😭 a tiny amount 1.4cm in size but as it had been there since the 6th of October it was now likely infected. So I was prescribed a hefty course of 2 types of antibiotics for a week and had bloods to check my HCG levels because my tests (which are 25ml) aren't picking anything up but there may be some left, as my period hasn't returned. If there's hcg still present then I'll have 1 more dose of misoprostol in the hope of shifting the last bit... And if it doesn't work then who bloody knows. All I know is its been a very long and emotional 11weeks so far.

Phew what a journey. But also i want to reassure anyone who's considering medical management - THIS IS NOT TYPICAL. This is really unusual and even the EPU team said that. It's really bad luck. I just wanted to put my story out there because I can't find my story anywhere so if anyone else goes through this at least it's out there. I made the right choice for me at the time and I don't regret that, I do believe for me this was just really bad luck. All the NHS staff I've come across have been so supportive and kind, and the care I've received has been excellent. This is no way a reflection on them at all, it's just what happened and I wanted to share that.

Hope the rest of you have had a smoother ride. Xx

@Sausage1990 wow seeing it all written down is quite something..thank you for getting in touch again...you’re so right about threads going quiet and not getting any answers..god knows I scour mumsnet for any stories like mine! And your story could really help someone out....knowing to ask for a final scan.

I hope you are doing ok though..let us know how you get on after the next HCG test ❤️

My story was much simpler really..I started bleeding 2 days after a scan showed I measured small. I had 10 days of bleeding..A couple of those days I was in awful awful pain. I rang 111 and they prescribed string pain killers which my DP was able to pick up for me. I went for a scan 10 days after the first scan and was told everything had passed naturally (i am very lucky in that respect). It’s a simple story really but I took it very very badly.I was an emotional wreck but have managed to pull through and I am in a much better place now. My next period came 5 weeks later and was extremely heavy but since things have gone back to normal.

Have everything crossed that you have a resolution soon. Much love x

@Sausage1990
Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your experience!

Just to follow on from my last post, I had my third appointment/scan and they properly confirmed this time so gave me the 3 options - go home and see if I miscarry naturally, take a tablet and miscarry at home or surgical management.
I chose to go for the surgical management as I just wanted the whole thing to be over with to be honest.
I was booked in the following week, in at 7am home at about 5pm. Felt really groggy and sh*t for a couple days after then slowly felt back to normal after that. Bleeding was ok.
I was surprised they didn’t give me any info re after care and what I can and can’t do.. thank god for forums like this!
I took a week off work and waited until this week to have a bath as I’d read a few different things about whether you’re allowed.

I kind of expected them to give me a follow up appointment to check everything’s ok but they just discharged me and sent me on my way with some antibiotics

That was a month ago now and I am glad I chose surgical management.

Yesterday I came on my period for the first time since the surgery and I’ll be honest it kind of took me back to when I started bleeding when I was pregnant as it felt so similar. So yesterday I just felt very teary and emotional, probably just my hormones but I wasn’t expecting it.

Just glad the whole things over as it was such a confusing/stressful time

Good luck to anyone else reading this going through a similar thing. I’m happy to answer any questions about the surgery x