Still waiting for the inevitable

[indecisivewoman81]

Hi everyone. I've been lurking on this board since Thursday when I found out at 11 weeks that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and my womb was full of blood.

Having to be in the rook on my own with my husband waiting outside expecting good news will haunt me for ever.

I have to go back I'm next Thursday for a re scan and been told to wait it out.

I have only had small amounts of spotting although my back feels achey and I can't stop crying.

What I want to know is, when will it properly start? I have two children at home and I don't want them to witness anything.

I feel like I am in limbo and frightened by the next steps the pain and blood.

Can anyone offer any advice? A hand hold x

@Littleonefirsttime I'm sorry I missed your message. I was a little wrapped up in myself yesterday.. Sorry. I'm so sorry you're here in the place with us.

My nurse was really upfront and said that it is painful and strong painkillers will be needed. It will be heavy too. I liked the direct but gentle nature of her explanation. In going into hospital for my management and I'll stay there until I've passed what needs to be passed. In my area they ask you to come in if the baby measures 9 weeks or more and mine is 9+1. If you're under 9weeks then you have the tabs then sent home. Personally I'm glad I'm going in because I can have the proper support with painkillers etc.

I will share my experience later or tomorrow incase its helpful. I have no idea how my body will respond, I'm just hoping that it's as straightforward as it can be 🤞🏻

Hello ladies,

I’ve been reading this thread quietly but wanted to say hello as we are all in the same horrible boat.

I hope it’s ok to share my story. I found out last Saturday at a private reassurance scan that the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no heart beat ( I should have been 7+4). I was sent away to book in with the NHS EPU the following week.

Last Monday I started bleeding. It hasn’t been very heavy, just like a normal period but lasting longer (usually bleed 4 days and I’m still bleeding a small amount 8 days later). I also passed one fairly substantial clot.

The pain was bad but I rang 111 and they prescribed Codine and naproxen which my husband was able to pick up from the local pharmacy. I would say the bad pain lasted about 4 hours but the pain relief and walking around really did help.

I have a scan tomorrow but hoping it’s all over-even though the bleeding didn’t seem too much, do you think this is normal for miscarriage at 6 weeks??

I hope those of you still waiting get some relief soon. My heart goes out to all of you xxxx

Hello @Dixie17

I'm so sorry you are going through such an awful time too.

I too am wondering how much blood is to be expected at 6 weeks as although i was supposed to be 11 the baby was only measuring 6.

Good luck tomorrow I hope everything goes okay; I will be thinking of you x

Thank you @indecisivewoman81 reading your story and description of bleeding we do sound similar...I’m so sorry that you had to wait until 11Weeks to find out. With missed miscarriages I do think it is a good sign that your womb and body is able to hold on..next time you will be able to grow a healthy baby to full term.

I will let you know the outcome of the scan tomorrow, I read that yours is Thursday. Let’s hope that this is it for us.

@Sausage1990 I hope that you are ok ❤️

Hi all, I’m similar to @Dixie17 and have been lurking and finding comfort in your words but not brave enough to write myself until now.
It’s been nearly two weeks since our 12 week scan where we found out the baby was only measuring 5 weeks. We had to wait 9 days for a follow up scan. I bled in the meantime- passing clots so thought maybe it was all over- but sadly the baby was the same size at the follow up scan. Yesterday I had medical management where I came home. I’ve had some bleeding but not very heavy and no pain so I don’t think it has worked. I tried to call the EPU several times today but no one has got back to me. I think I’d like to go for the surgery now as this feels like it has been going on forever.
It’s so frustrating as I just want it all to be over with.
Sending love to everyone going through this horrible time.

Hi @pixienewbie

Sorry to hear that you are going through this horrible ordeal too.

I hope that the pills have worked for you, I have no advice but keep trying the EPU if you are worried. Maybe it takes some time for more clots to pass?

Thinking of you xx

Hi @pixienewbie

I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated. Keep trying the EPU, mine got back to me the next day so I hope that you hear back today. Try through the hospital switchboard as well.

Push for what you want..hopefully they will take into account your story..2 weeks must have felt a lifetime and it’s not surprising you want Surgery for it to be over.

@Dixie17 how did your scan go?

I have a scan booked for tomorrow.

Thanks for your reply @indecisivewoman81. How are you feeling today?

Hi @pixienewbie

The scan showed I have passed everything, she said the large clot I passed must have been the sac intact. I saw my notes from the scan on 26/09 and I only measured at 5w+5 and I started bleeding at 8w. Seems crazy that something so small and the fact I was pregnant for such a short time I’d causing me so much heartache. I’ve just wanted this for so long.

The sonographer was lovely and explained the rest of the scan clearly..at least I now k ow my anatomy is normal. I still spent the afternoon googling all the terms in the report, worrying my lining is too thin...

Have you had any more bleeding or side effects of the medication today?? How you doing? Xxx

Reading this thread has helped me realise that I'm not alone. So sorry to hear about everyone's losses and experiences.

Found out today that the baby stopped growing and I'll inevitably miscarry - I should be 8 weeks but there has been no growth in the last week and it is measuring very small.

There is still a heartbeat but it is irregular and so they can't do anything 😔.

Booked in for another scan in 2 weeks but I'm praying it happens naturally before then.

I can't believe how drawn out having a miscarriage can be.

@Dixie17 I’m relieved for you that the physical side is over but it sounds like a tough emotional time for you now. From what I’ve read the statistics for a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage are high and you are very fertile straight after a loss. Not sure if that’s comforting at all though.

Had you been trying long to get pregnant? When I found out two weeks ago my first thought was that I had to get pregnant again straight away but I’m trying to calm down a bit now.

I’ve had zero bleeding since Monday evening which is so strange as I had been bleeding for the last week or so. I feel so much better knowing I have a scan tomorrow and that this could all be resolved soon.

Take care of yourself. xx

Sorry to hear you’ve had such devastating news today @Rumples.

Oh @Rumples I’m so sorry to hear that. What a drawn out process for you. I hope you have some time off or whatever you need to get you through. Be kind to yourself..try not to google too much. I think the best thing I did was to go for long walks and sleep..

@indecisivewoman81 and @pixienewbie good luck with scans today

Hi everyone,

It's so awful that we are all going through this horrible experience but I am so glad I started this thread because now I don't feel so alone.

My second scan is today although I am praying it is all gone (I know what a thing to hope).

Since Sunday I have been going out for walks every day because my friend told me this would kick start things and on Tuesday I went Christmas shopping in the morning to return at lunch time with back ache.

That evening the miscarriage happened. I won't lie to you; it was pretty dreadful. The pains started off like period pains around 7pm with a clot and blood that literally poured out of me. I took co codermal, by 10pm the tablets weren't having any effect at all and midnight was the absolute worst point.

The pain for me (having given birth twice before) was different to both period pains and labour. There seemed to be no. Break from it and I felt like my lower stomach had been cut open along with my lower back. It was sharp and raw feeling. Two wheat bags one on tummy one on my back helped a bit and every time I passed a clot I would get a few minutes reprieve.

I must have passed 30 clots some much bigger than others. Although most I didn't see as they fell straight down the toilet.

What I will say is this. It was scary and I bled very very heavy but only at midnight did I feel this is too awful. And by 1am I was in bed recovering from that hour. I was sick but I didn't faint.

Since then I have had mild period pain and some bleeding. Not heavy though.

Today I guess I will find out if it's gone or not.

If you are going to do this at home I would suggests. Lots of big sanitary pads (I had four packs and today I need more). The strongest painkillers you can get. Not aspirin though. Wheat bags two if you can. Lucozade . I couldn't eat but it helped get me through energy wise.

I slept and rested all day yesterday not leaving my bed.

I hope this helps and of course I will update you later today.

Good luck to everyone who has scans this week.

Xxx

@indecisivewoman81 my fingers are crossed for you today that your scan goes well and that it's complete.

I also feel awful that I want it out and to be over but it's the only thing that will help to move on.

@Dixie17 @pixienewbie thankyou both. Got a weekend planned of walking the dog and watching films with my other half with plenty of comfort food.

I've been having slight pains this morning so hopefully it will start soon.

@indecisivewoman81 wow you are super woman. That sounds incredibly hard. I really hope your scan today goes as well as it can, it sounds as though you are through the worst of it. Get as much rest as you can.

@Rumples ❤️ Don’t forget about what I said about ringing 111 if you need to. I had no idea they could prescribe stronger medication like they did for me...you can get higher doses of codine but I think it was the naproxen that’s really helped me.

Thinking of you all xxx

Sadly it's just more bad news from me. Scan today revealed a small ish clot still retained. It's sitting right above the cervix apparently.

Nurses said it might just fall out, it might not come out or it might get stuck. So all in all pretty shit.

I cannot believe after so much blood and pain it hasn't all come away!

Have to go back next Thursday for a rescan.

Oh @indecisivewoman81 I’m sorry that the scan did not give the all clear. I really really hope you pass this naturally and easily in the next few days and next Thursday brings some closure.

Sending love to you all ❤️

Hi ladies. Sorry to see more of us here going through this. I'm glad for some of you things has passed as straight forward as possible and I'm sorry for others it's been more traumatic.

@indecisivewoman81 your experience of the pain and loads of clots & bleeding is similar to my experience except mine was medical management in hospital. I still have/had a small amount of plecenta retained but the Dr allowed me to go home for expectant management as it was only a small amount. She said it should pass within the week & gave my antibiotics as a preventative measure just in case. Hopefully yours will come away in time too.

I'll do a separate post about my experience of medical management though because I know i was searching for this kind of info last week.

Sending so much love & strength to you all 💕💕💕

Oh my I am so sorry to read your story @indecisivewoman81 and indeed the other responses here. 😥
I had a miscarriage in July and like you my husband was outside in the car park when I had the scan which gave me the sad news. Having to walk up to him with that news rather than happy scan photos will forever haunt me too.
Now three months later I am 8 weeks pregnant again (both pregnancies so close together, yet after over a decade of infertility. No other children) I am praying that the same won’t happen again.
I hope you feel stronger soon and that the emotional as well as physical pain eases speedily. Hopefully like me you will fall pregnant again quickly. Sending love and a hand hold.

So an update on my MMC.
I went into hospital on Tuesday for my medical management. At 11am i was given 4 tablets to insert as a vaginal pessary and within about half an hour I had back ache & cramps has started. Even with a period I often experience cramps I my back more intensely than my uterus so this wasn't unexpected for me. I had some paracetamol at that point and put some curaheat pads on and waited. The cramps got more intense for me and I felt more comfortable standing and walking around of on my knees in the floor leaning on the bed (this is because I get back pain and sitting is more uncomfortable and like I said I get this with periods too). Anyway after 3.5hrs I still wasn't bleeding but the cramps where really quite intense so I was given ibuprofen and as it has been 3hrs I was then given 2 more tablets orally. That dose took it all up a notch and tbh the next hr was very intense pain, I didn't feel well at all & was sick. About an hour later I still had no bleeding but I felt this wierd internal pop and felt a gush of fluid which I thought was blood but it was in fact water. The fetus & sac came away then into a bedpan (you have to sue a bedpan in hospital so the nurses can check what you pass). The pain almost immediately settled to a managabke level and I was able to rest.

I ended up needing to stay overnight as the plecenta was taking its time. I had a the max 4 doses of the medication every 3 hours over night and like @indecisivewoman81 I had a huge amount of clots and blood, it was a restless night with very little sleep and the cramps came in waves every 30-45mins until about 4am when they got a little further apart and by 6am I passed the last large clot. I also decided to ask for large pads from the hospital has my always ultra night time pads were filling up too quickly na di was leaking everywhere (I'd say every 45-60mins I was needing to change) so I was given these massive adult nappys which I was grateful for as it gave me peace of mind that I could get some sleep without waking up to a crime scene 😉

I managed to pass nearly everything, except for a small amount of placenta which was being a bit stubborn. The nurses had said that they hadn't seen any placenta in my bad pans so I was really disheartened but I had a scan the next day which confirmed some plecenta had come away and there was just a small amount of retained plecenta. They did discuss a speculum procedure where they have a look in your cervix to see if they can remove it manually with some pain relief but not under anaesthetic and for me that felt too traumatic so I asked for another option. The Dr agreed that I could go home (after 1 more oral dose of the medication) & give nature some time to let it all come away rather than having surgery. So after a very long & quite traumatic 36 hours I was able to go home. I have pretty much slept on an off since I got home at 6pm Wednesday & am feeling okay. Very drained still from the blood loss I think and needing some TLC but overall okay. My DH had been incredible throughout - literally stayed up all night keeping in touch with me because I was awake all night & he didn't want me to be alone. He's also managed to get the full week off to make sure I'm OK which is such a relief.

Also I say traumatic but I don't mean it like it was a complete horrific experience. It certainly was not pleasant at all and I never wish it on anyone but it was what I was told it would be like I just didn't have any reference for what the pain would be like having never done it before so I couldn't fully appreciate it, and the length of time and amount of blood loss that's deemed normal, and lack of sleep. And then having checks and scan and stuff to see if it's all passed and discussions with the Dr's about what to do next, and because you're alone you can't discuss the options with anyone, and the decision need to made quite quickly really... And on top of all of that it's emotional and sad and frustrating... I cried alot. And I ended up calling DH and put him in speaker because it was alot for me to process. So that's what I mean with regards to trauma, just the whole experience was alot and I don't think you can every truly be prepared for that.

The Dr was nice & took what u wanted into cinsideraand didn't make me do anything I wasn't comfortable. And the nursing & support staff were really great too, coming in an checking in you regularly, offering pain relief & calming me down and chatting to me at 3am when I was feeling really upset & lonely. They made an incredibly difficult situation easier with their kindness & care.

Since getting home Ive had cramps like a period and bleeding just like a heavy period. This afternoon I had some really intense cramps again and passed a few smaller clots and the bleeding has ramped up a bit again but I'm hoping that's my body passing the last parts of the placenta so I mentally encourage it to happen.

Gosh sorry for this long and detailed post. Despite all of that, I now feel a sense of peace, I am now able to start moving forward in healing and put baby & this pregnancy to rest. 💕

@littletiger007 gosh what a horrible situation you were put in... I can understand how traumatic that must have been and how it still haunts you 💔

I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy and sending lots of positive vibes and love to you. You are an example of the hope we all have for pregnancy after loss and I pray that all goes well for you with this little blessing you're carrying 💕🙏🏻

Oh @Sausage1990 I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through such a traumatic time! I've been thinking about you lots and wondering how you have been. Our experiences have been very similar although our treatments were different and I totally get what you mean by feeling more at peace. I too have passed the final clot (I believe) today and feel so much better. It's like my body knows everything is gone and the trauma is over. Now the healing can begin. Thank you for coming back on and telling everyone. Threads like this are immensely comforting when women are going through such a scary and upsetting process.

I hope you continue to heal. I feel like I know you so well xxx

@LittleTiger007 I also wanted to say congratulations and how lovely that you have a happy ending to such a sad journey. I wish you well xx

@indecisivewoman81 yes I agree we've had a similar experience even though the management was different.

And yes I really wanted to share my experience as on so many threads people don't come back and share the ending so you never know what's happened and its frustrating (& your questions go unanswered).

If us all sharing helps just 1 other person, as it's helped us, then I'll be pleased.

Yes I feel like I know you too, bonded during our saddest moments 💕 let's pray we go on to have lovely healthy & happy pregnancies 👶🏻