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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

MMC 12 weeks

16 replies

SkyBlue20 · 26/03/2020 18:30

I don’t really know why I’m posting but I went for my 12 week scan today (at 11+6) and was told the sack was measuring around 9weeks and there was a foetal pole but it wasn’t good news, the pregnancy wouldn’t progress as baby wasn’t growing as it should and wasn’t told much more/wasn’t taking much in. Had a scan, then an internal scan and was told to go back for another scan in two weeks, where they’ll go through options with me. All without my husband, who had to wait in the car due to visitor limitations because of CV. I’m a bit numb and very upset and just don’t really know how we’re meant to navigate these next two weeks.

A lot wasn’t explained to me so I’ve no idea why I have to be rescanned in two weeks but I have done all the reading up on medical management, etc.

So I don’t really know what I’m looking for, maybe just experiences, advice, anything I might need to know?

Thank you 💕

OP posts:
Areallthenamestaken · 26/03/2020 18:36

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine how hard your day has been and to have to go through that on your own and then break the news to your husband as well.

I don't have any advice or words of wisdom. But please be kind to yourself and take whatever time you need to grieve Thanks

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 26/03/2020 19:22

Thank you @Areallthenamestaken. I’ve spent the day in bed watching mindless films and eating junk, which always helps. I know only time will really help so we’ll muddle through the next few weeks as best we can and then we can start to heal as best we can after that. Thank you for replying 💕

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Britannah · 26/03/2020 22:39

I’m so sorry for your loss, I found out in December at my 12 week scan that I had a MMC too and nothing prepares you for just how horrendous it is but I promise you from the bottom of my heart that you will get through this and you will be ok - time is a wonderful healer.

I personally went for surgical management which I don’t regret at all but don’t feel like you need to make any decisions over the next couple of days. Just rest up and be kind to yourself. Sending a big hug Flowers

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 27/03/2020 07:24

Thank you @Britannah. I’m leaning towards surgical management myself as everything else just sounds horrendous and I don’t like the thought of passing the remnants at home and having to deal with them, it’ll be too hard. I just want the next two weeks to pass now so we’re out of this limbo.

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FruitTwistFanta · 27/03/2020 22:33

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc last month, found out at my 12 week scan like you. I took the tablet misoprostol. It was more painful than I thought it would be and there was a lot of blood but I’d done lots of research about it so knew what to expect.

It’s been just over a month now since it happened and I can honestly say time really does help. I still remember how horrendous it felt but found I could cope better each day that passes.

Look after yourself Flowers

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 28/03/2020 06:27

Thank you, @FruitTwistFanta and I’m so sorry for your loss 💕 I wish I could just fast forward through the next month or two, the waiting is killing me.

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LangSpartacusCleg · 28/03/2020 06:45

Miscarriage is awful, and if that happens then you have my sympathy.

The reason they need to scan again in two weeks is to check that it is indeed a miscarriage rather than a mistake in dates or slow growth. Even with IVF, when they know the exact date of implantation, scans can show babies’ growth as being up to two weeks behind (recently told that by my own obgyn). If you baby has done two weeks worth of growth at the next scan, then the pregnancy will continue as normal. If there is no change, then it is a MMC and they will give you the options for dealing with that.

Hope it works out for you. If not, there is lots of advice on the miscarriage boards here that I have found helpful. 💐

LangSpartacusCleg · 28/03/2020 06:46

And you are right, the waiting is awful!

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 28/03/2020 09:10

Thank you @LangSpartacusCleg 💕 The midwife was very adamant that it is just a formality to rescan again and that the pregnancy is not viable, so I’m not holding my breath unfortunately. She didn’t give me too many details, which I think was on purpose, however was very clear that the next scan is a formality and after it they’ll explain my options. In retrospect I wish I had asked more questions but I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind, I was too busy just crying. I did try to get more out of her but she was just very vague and uninformative about the details.

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RosieJess91 · 30/03/2020 17:24

Just going through the same thing myself, been in for my 12 week scan today, no baby, just an empty sac. Not even a hint of an embryo. Had no inkling what so ever, no bleeding, no cramping. I was even growing, so thought it was all fine. What a shock that was, and again, alone because of CV. Horrible to repeat it to my OH.
5 hours later, I'm at home and the bleeding has started already, it's almost psychological. Like I needed to hear it for it to start.
I was offered another scan next Monday, but now I've started bleeding, I know they're more likely to tell me that it's all gone or on its way out anyway...
It's so heartbreaking, because I have to continue on as if nothing is wrong to my 3 year old, while also in pain.
I'm glad I'm not alone, but I'm also so sad that someone else is in the same boat as me. I'm so sorry you had to be told the same news.
I was planning on going down the surgical route, to get things over with, which sounds awful... But I'm obviously not being given that choice.

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 30/03/2020 22:55

I’m so sorry, @RosieJess91, I’m sending you all of my love and a huge hand hold. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, I hope it’s quick and not too painful and that you’re not alone. I’m here if you want to talk 💕

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BenScalesIsAGod · 30/03/2020 22:58

Also been through a miscarriage recently and my DH wasn’t allowed either Sad. Had surgical but didn’t work well for me. Such a miserable time being stuck in the House. Thinking of you too x

BenScalesIsAGod · 30/03/2020 22:59

Meant to say mine was also missed but slightly earlier as had an early scan. Difficult to get your head around it when still feeling pregnant.

Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 31/03/2020 08:05

So sorry to hear that @benscalesisagod 💕 it’s so sad how common it seems to be but how little people actually speak about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SkyBlue20 · 01/04/2020 15:16

I think the miscarriage might be on its way - I've had period-type pains this morning and there's a definite slight tinge of colour when I wipe after going to the toilet. Husband has been out and bought pads and painkillers, anything else I should do to prepare? I'm scared, everything I've read sounds like they're so painful and generally awful and my emotions were only just getting back to some semblance of ok.

OP posts:
BenScalesIsAGod · 01/04/2020 16:23

I think that’s all you can do really. I’m still waiting Sad

You can get co-codamol over the counter if you need more than paracetamol/ ibuprofen XX

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