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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Bleeding at 12 weeks, so sad...

116 replies

mumum1 · 23/02/2020 18:14

I had been praying for this baby for so long I don't think I can get over it if I've lost my baby.

I'm 12 weeks today and about an hour ago I noticed a little spotting and it's getting worse.

Spoke to the maternity unit and as it's out of hours they've told me i can't be seen until tomorrow and that I should get some rest and take some paracetamol.

I can't lose my baby but I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumum1 · 24/02/2020 20:13

Is there a chance the ultrasound may have got it wrong?

OP posts:
avocadoincident · 24/02/2020 20:17

Isn't there anyway your partner can go with you tomorrow. Do you have a friend or family member who will look after you children?

It's such a sad thing happening to you. But you aren't alone, so so so many people on mumsnet who understand. You will get through this even though it doesn't seem like you will right now. X

sophiagiiiles · 24/02/2020 20:17

@mumum1 they got it wrong with me once before. The baby did have a heartbeat and everything, just earlier than expected.

bluemoon2468 · 24/02/2020 20:19

So, so sorry for your loss. It must be so devastating ❤ I'm really sorry, I don't think there's any chance they got it wrong. If there was a heartbeat they would have seen it immediately at 12 weeks, and the baby wouldn't have been measuring 3 weeks behind. Combined with your bleeding it's pretty conclusive, I'm so sorry. Glad you have a supportive husband and family to help you through this.

Original poster
mumum1 · 24/02/2020 20:25

Hoping for a miracle but I know deep down there no baby.

Will ask my MIL to join me and FIL to watch the kids. Unfortunately DH can't have anytime off work this week. I'm quite a shy and reserved person so I thought I could go through this myself but I don't think I can.

OP posts:
MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 24/02/2020 20:59

We're moving this for you now, OP.
Sending love and best wishes from all at MNHQ.

avocadoincident · 25/02/2020 06:17

Good luck today OP, don't try and be too strong. Even shy reserved people are allowed to just 'react' to whatever happens today.

I just took to me bed for a day or two and I found listening to podcasts about the topic helpful. It allowed me to cry a lot and they always sent me off to sleep which was important too.

The hardest thing for me was telling close friends. Guess what, I've had another miscarriage but I hadn't even told you about the pregnancy yet. So draw on your close friends who know, for support. People will be so sad that it's happened but they won't always know what to say. That's not their fault. I still don't always know what to say and I'm one of the millions who've gone through it. X

Original poster
mumum1 · 25/02/2020 13:26

@avocadoincident thank you for sharing.

I went to the EPU today. Everyone was lovely. Confirmed there was no heartbeat. Also blood in urine, forgot to ask what that means but the nurses didn't seem that bothered about it. I will now decide what to do next.

Feel better today, coming to terms that things and plans have changed. Trying to not dwell on things but still getting teary x

OP posts:
WinterRose92 · 25/02/2020 14:19

Of course and take all the time you need to grieve. Be kind to yourself and try to take it easy. It’s a big shock. I really wish I could give you a big hug, I’ve been thinking of you these past few days. Here’s a virtual hug ❤️Flowers

avocadoincident · 25/02/2020 19:46

What a horrible thing you've had to go to. Try and be gentle on yourself. It's an awful shock and you'll need time to process everything.
Are you able to go to bed for a day or two and really wallow?

Of course that might not be what suits you and being busy might help but whatever helps, do lots of it. X

Dlow · 27/02/2020 10:21

I am so sorry for your loss! I have been through exactly the same thing this week- no heartbeat during scan 😞 I also went in alone as I told my boyfriend and mother that everything would be fine as I only had a tiny bit of bleeding!
Lucky my mother in law was outside because nobody can ever prepare you for the news!
I am here if you need to speak to someone, especially as I’m going through the same thing. Big hugs x

Original poster
mumum1 · 27/02/2020 15:29

@Dlow

Sorry you're going to the same thing, it's absolutely soul crushing.

Had a couple of days in bed and this morning I started bleeding, lots of discharge and passing clots.

Think that's it. Done.

OP posts:
avocadoincident · 28/02/2020 06:21

@Dlow @mumum1 such a traumatic experience for both of you.

I glad you went to bed @mumum1. The clots are sad to see aren't they but I felt some relief that my body knew what to do.

I'm three weeks on now and have had my negative pregnancy test which is weirdly a positive thing for me as now I feel I have new chances and fresh opportunities. X

raspberryjamlove · 04/03/2020 20:55

I'm so so sorry this happened to you :( it's really such an awful situation and my heart goes out to you. I've been through it recently, very similar situation to you. Hope you are feeling a bit better soon xx

Original poster
mumum1 · 04/03/2020 22:18

@raspberryjamlove @avocadoincident

Finding it very hard to come to terms with. Hoping it will get easier with time only been a week really. It's like I'm having to act like I'm ok now but deep down still hurting.

Worse thing is I still feel pregnant, got the sickness and achy breasts.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, helps me feel like I'm not alone x

OP posts:
avocadoincident · 04/03/2020 22:23

A week is no time at all. Try to not push yourself in any area. Time does help for sure.
I liked a good balance of being busy and normal but also resting properly in bed a lot. X

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