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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

I think I'm having a miscarriage

22 replies

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 08:57

I'm 9 weeks and nobody knew yet except for me and DH (and the doctor). It wasn't a planned pregnancy, but we have been very happy about it! I woke up at 6 this morning with really bad stomach cramps - like extra bad period pain - but no bleeding. About an hour later, there has been blood and quite a lot of it and the cramping has got worse.

I know it's stupid but I feel totally numb. I know that I must be losing it, but I just don't know what I should do - which sounds so stupid, I know. I'm at home with DDs today by myself, since DH is away for work (for 3 weeks!). I don't know what to do! I feel like there's no point in going anywhere since it's obviously happening, but I don't know what is normal, what is going to happen, what to do...

I used the most heavy duty sanitary towel I could find and managed to get breakfast for DDs but the bleeding seems to be getting heavier and it completely soaked through. Luckily DDs are now absorbed in creating a tent in the living room....

I just don't know what to do!!! I would be very very grateful for any advice

OP posts:

esmerelda1988 · 02/02/2020 08:58

No experience of this but can you ring the early pregnancy unit in your area?

FernBritanica · 02/02/2020 09:04

I'm so sorry. I don't have direct experience (my miscarriage was "silent") but would also suggest looking up your local EPU/EPAU and giving them a call

When I visited my EPAU for an early scan they told me that if I was bleeding so much it was soaking several pads an hour then go to A and E.. might be different your area though so probably best to speak to someone if you can.

I'm sorry this is happening

Literaryseed · 02/02/2020 09:07

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP. I think now is the time to confide in a friend or family member nearby who can help you with your DDs. I recommend calling your local EPU who will probably suggest you come in for a scan maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Until then there isn't much you can do but take pain killers if needed and try and rest and be kind to yourself.

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 09:18

Thank you so much for the advice. @literaryseed I think you are right, and I will call my friend who lives nearby to see if DDs can play with her kids.

I'm trying to find the EPU number to call... Is it okay to take painkillers? And the bleeding... urgh. I feel like the best thing would just be to sit on the loo until it stops! But I can't do that till I've sorted the kids... Oh God, the more I think about it, the more I just feel like crying

OP posts:

FernBritanica · 02/02/2020 09:30

I'd stick with paracetamol until you've spoken to someone. Maybe ask if codeine is OK.

I'm sorry, it's really shit

Charis1503 · 02/02/2020 09:36

Im so sorry you are going through this.

If you have an early pregnancy unit you can call them... but they may well not be open today.

Unfortunatly, as you have already aknowleged the probability is that this is a miscarriage and there will be nothing epu or the ED could do if you went in... other than scan you and confirm it or organise blood tests. Neither of those will prevent it or help you through the next 12/24 hours :(

Be prepared for some larger pieces to come out not just blood. Mine were like chunks of liver which sort of resembled the shape of my womb. Came out in about 3 large pieces.

If you feel okay about it... you could try keep something and burry it, sounds weird but i was wracked with guilt for years that i flushed my pregnancy down the toilet. I wish i had kept something and burried a plant or something.

I would stick to paracetamol not ibuprofen JUST incase this is only a threatened miscarriage ( i bled and lost my first, bled and have a wonderful 2 yr old sat next to me and bled with this pregnancy too but it stopped at 7 weeks and i have passed the 12 week mark now)

At 6 weeks you wont have developed a placenta so the bleeding should be limited. Mine tailed off after the first big bleed and after passing the chunks.

In terms of going forward. Certainly contact your gp or EPU this week, you will need to keep an eye on your temperature (sign of infection in the womb) and if the bleeding doesnt settle they may need to scan you to ensure you have passed everything.

Dont know where you are, but thinking of you xx

Pineappletree33 · 02/02/2020 09:44

I’m sorry this is happening to you

This happened to me over Christmas. Bleeding started Christmas Eve, and I miscarried Boxing Day. I knew what was happening so I just let it run it’s course as I came to the conclusion what will happen will happen. Unfortunately I was at a relatives house, but they were very kind to me.

I would take some paracetamol, make an area for you to sit in the sofa with plenty of old towels and take it as easy as you can.

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 09:45

Thank you for the advice!

I'm 9 weeks rather than 6, but I don't know if that makes any difference. Called my friend and she is going to pick up the girls, which is a lifesaver. She's concerned that I shouldn't be on my own, but I think it is okay?

I'm allergic to paracetemol (really!) so will hold off the painkillers for now...

Thanks xx

OP posts:

Besidesthepoint · 02/02/2020 09:52

Where is DH? Can't he stay with you?

GoldLeafTree · 02/02/2020 09:53

I'm so sorry OP.

The rule at my local EPU is if you're filling more than one pad an hour or regularly passing clots the size of a 50p then go and get checked out.

mummymayhem18 · 02/02/2020 10:03

I'm so sorry,I hope everything is ok. It's a scary time.

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 10:09

I feel like the bleeding is quite a lot (it kind of comes in waves... like, a big cramp and then a lot of blood, sorry tmi). So I'm thinking that I will call the EPU once the girls have gone with my friend. I checked and it is open 24h (central London!).

DH is in New Zealand, unfortunately
I am being a bit pathetic. I feel scared.

OP posts:

velocitygirl7 · 02/02/2020 10:13

I think you need to go and get checked out, you shouldn't be alone at the moment, it's a lot to cope with on your own.
I hope you're ok op

Dirtygirty35 · 02/02/2020 10:59

Your not pathetic OP and its normal to feel scared especially as you are on your own with your DP being away.

Be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love.

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 13:36

Thank you for all the good advice and kind words.

I rung the EPU and they advised to come straight to the hospital. So I did and had a not very enjoyable examination, but she was very kind and explained everything to me so that I understand properly what's happening.

As it is... I haven't miscarried yet, but the miscarriage is inevitable, so it is just waiting... she also reckoned I was further along than I thought, probably 12 / 13 weeks. What an idiot... can't even get dates right!

Feeling a bit rubbish, to be honest :(

OP posts:

FernBritanica · 02/02/2020 15:31

Oh gosh I'm sorry OP, no wonder it's been extra tough physically if you're further along than you thought. And an extra rubbish time for it to happen with your DP, I'm sorry, there's not much to say except send virtual hugs and hope that your friend can continue to help with your daughters..

FernBritanica · 02/02/2020 15:32

with your DP away

Charis1503 · 02/02/2020 16:55

OP - how r you doing?

Thinking of you x

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 02/02/2020 17:03

I'm not doing great, but thank you for asking. I think it's happened properly now - I had really bad cramps which almost felt like mini contractions, and I felt something "pass". Well, I won't go into too much graphic detail, but you can imagine.

I feel like I shouldn't feel so affected, but I feel really kind of shaken and I can't stop crying. I have to try to pull myself together!

OP posts:

burntpinky · 02/02/2020 17:12

Sending you hugs. I had a MMC at 9.5 weeks (so different from you) and I think I had a very early miscarriage this morning. Really feel for you. Is there anyone who can be with you? Make sure you look after yourself and be kind to yourself. And just hugs. PM me if you feel too alone x

Charis1503 · 02/02/2020 17:52

You are in shock,pain and hormonal. Of course you are shaken and crying. Absolutly no need to "pull your self together".

Be kind to yourself,eat chocolate, drink wine and snuggle your girls.

Original poster

AntoniaForestFan · 03/02/2020 14:33

Thank you for all your kind words and good advice. I'm feeling a bit better today. Still bleeding but it's much less heavy now, kind of just like a heavy period. Still getting cramps, but nowhere near as bad as yesterday.

Emotionally, I feel... I don't know. A bit blank. A bit zoned out! But at least I can keep going with things.

I think the worst thing is that I was really feeling pregnant - waist thickening up, little bit of a bump, tender breasts, bras weren't fitting and I couldn't do up my trousers! I know it's quite odd, but it somehow makes the loss more tangible.

OP posts:

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