Why will no one help me

[feelingprettyalonetoday]

I'm about to be discharged from hospital this morning, I don't want to go home and I don't even know if I've lost our baby or not. I don't know what I'm writing for and I don't know if anyone can help understand or point me to where I should go next but here's the story.

Myself and DH have been TTC for 16 months. In that time we've had no pregnancy last more that 5 weeks, mostly chemical pregnancies. We paid private for bloods and SA which only showed I have mild pcos.

We carried on trying and had 7
Losses by September 18. By this time I was referred to the early miscarriage clinic who have booked a hysteroscopy for early next year along with bloods for clotting factors and thyroid.

Fast forward to now and I am or was 5w nd 5 days pregnant. When we found out at 4 weeks I contacted the nurse specialist who put me on progesterone suppositories- I've had nothing but issues with them. I feel terrible, I've been bleeding, in pain and shoulder pain. I let her know this and she advised me to contact my GP?

Friday night I was at work and this became incredibly painful, the bleeding increased and I was sent home. 111 sent me to hospital sat morning, the same hospital we are under for fertility.

I've been on oromorph overnight and my beta hcg is 736. They examined me internally 4 tines and can't find my cervix to see if it's open or closed. They can't scan me because they don't have anyone to scan at a weekend. I'm trying to be understanding because I am a nurse but this is a huge regional hospital for the south.

I've just been told they can't tell me what's going on, they aren't sure if it's miscarriage, ectopic, a twin loss or progesterone issues.
I feel I've lost it, 8 in 16 months.

They are discharging me this morning.... to come back
Next week and find out. I am beyond heartbroken and lost, I don't know what to do. All I've been told is they don't know and to carry on progesterone

My husband keeps crying so I have to be strong for him and try and hide it from my dd (7), I don't want to go home- I don't know where to go or what to do, I want to sit and cry and scream at how unfair it all is but I can't because dh is back at work, childcare needs doing, everyone needs feeding, house needs tidying and dog needs waking.

I'm sorry if you've got this far, and I don't know what I'm asking for but anyone just to chat to would be nice

so sorry to hear this, you really need to get onto PALS as the consultant should have considered an ectopic with your symptoms. Very poor on their part. All the best OP

Ahh I'm SO sorry to hear that! Sending u lots of hugs!

I’m so sorry xx

I'm so sorry. How awful. It's not fair is it.

I'm sorry this has happened. Please make a complaint about this, an ectopic pregnancy can have fatal consequences and their failure to investigate properly could have caused something terrible.

I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you everyone, safe to say I'm feeling pretty ropey (understatement).
DH put me to bed yesterday when we got home and I got up
For the appointment.

The good news is the hcg has fallen enough for them to allow me home and to go back Wednesday and see if my body is absorbing it and hcg falling further.

They knew I had complained to pals today and have also encouraged me to complain further as I shouldn't have been discharged yesterday without a scan. I will do this when I'm feeling stronger.

They have also been a huge source of support for our reoccurring miscarriages and have advised me that when we feel ready to try again (never at the moment) I must phone them straight away when I get a positive test.

On our way home now and I'm heading straight to bed, thank you again for all your support

The pain in your shoulder should have been a huge warning sign for the doctor when you attended at the weekend.
I misscarried in A&E a few weeks ago at a weekend... and the same as you no facilities to scan at a weekend. It’s a disgrace! Is the NHS not a 7 day service grrrrrr
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through, I hope you get your happy ending soon. x

I'm sorry for your loss

I'm really not in a good place at all and I'm
Not sure what to do. I'm not sure when I last showered, I think it was Friday and DH doesn't think I've eaten since Sunday but I'm not sure that's right. I definitely didn't sleep last night but I'm not tired. I know I don't want to try again.
Tbh I don't even know what I want or what I'm doing let alone what I'm supposed to be doing.
I feel totally pathetic and am wondering if this is a delayed response to all the loses and I just carried on with no acknowledgment of them really. I have no energy left, nothing left to give and can't be strong for anyone this time.

You need to mourn ur loss and be kind to yourself! A close friend lost 3 and after acupuncture went on to have triplets... don't give up hope but at d moment u need a break... lots of tlc and rest! Go easy on urself .. u have done nothing wrong! Thinking of u

Oh sweetheart, you are in the middle of a loss, so physically all over the place, and after so many loses you are emotionally at rock bottom.

Don't try and think now about what you might or might not do in the future. Good decisions are not made when you are at rock bottom. Just accept that, for now, you need to look after yourself, and get yourself well again. Time enough to worry about whether or not you will try again in a few months when you are well again, and have had time to think.

When you are feeling better, you might benefit from someone to talk it all through with, to process the loses etc.

Thank you so much for your kind words, I've managed to eat and shower and I'll try to go to bed and see what tomorrow brings.

I just feel l keep letting everyone down

You are not letting anyone down. It's awful.
I'm so sorry x

Well I'm feeling pretty scared right now

Have no idea when I would have ovulated but my levels for hcg were definitely 0 a few weeks ago.

EPU have been quite helpful and despite it being faint want me to restart progesterone and have bloods tommorow and Thursday.

I just want to keep peeing on sticks however but I'm refraining.

Here we go again :-(

Fingers crossed for you!

I'm beyond terrified, I think it's a false bfp

I need these bloods tomo, and to try and not drive myself crazy

Oh I hope not for your sake.. stay positive!

Fingers crossed for you, good luck.

I know someone who had 4 losses before they discovered she had slightly thicker than average blood which caused an issue with the placenta. 1/2 an aspirin a day allowed her to deliver 4 healthy pregnancies once diagnosed.

Thinking of you

Good luck, OP. Just take each day as it comes. Thinking of you. x

Have they checked your thyroid? It can be OK for everyday life but too low to maintain a pregnancy. I needed to keep my tsh below 2 to stay pregnant.

Can they give you aspirin and/or heparin in case you do have a sticky blood issue? Or has that been tested for? At one of the most successful IVF clinics they give everyone heparin for the first few months.

Best of luck.

Thank you all

@Viewoffriday I'm hoping tomo my blood shows some hcg in it and then I can ask for the aspirin along with progesterone. I may as well ask as not a lot left to loose! Thyroid is next thing to look at I think.

You can get your GP to do a thyroid test for you. Just don't let them tell you it's normal. Ask for the numbers yourself. Loads of GPS still don't know about the much lower tsh requirements in pregnancy.

I have a blood form for that and a few other things but they don't want to do them whilst I could be pregnant :-(

Everything crossed for you x

Good luck today Crossing everythg for u x

Thank you