Why will no one help me

[feelingprettyalonetoday]

I'm about to be discharged from hospital this morning, I don't want to go home and I don't even know if I've lost our baby or not. I don't know what I'm writing for and I don't know if anyone can help understand or point me to where I should go next but here's the story.

Myself and DH have been TTC for 16 months. In that time we've had no pregnancy last more that 5 weeks, mostly chemical pregnancies. We paid private for bloods and SA which only showed I have mild pcos.

We carried on trying and had 7
Losses by September 18. By this time I was referred to the early miscarriage clinic who have booked a hysteroscopy for early next year along with bloods for clotting factors and thyroid.

Fast forward to now and I am or was 5w nd 5 days pregnant. When we found out at 4 weeks I contacted the nurse specialist who put me on progesterone suppositories- I've had nothing but issues with them. I feel terrible, I've been bleeding, in pain and shoulder pain. I let her know this and she advised me to contact my GP?

Friday night I was at work and this became incredibly painful, the bleeding increased and I was sent home. 111 sent me to hospital sat morning, the same hospital we are under for fertility.

I've been on oromorph overnight and my beta hcg is 736. They examined me internally 4 tines and can't find my cervix to see if it's open or closed. They can't scan me because they don't have anyone to scan at a weekend. I'm trying to be understanding because I am a nurse but this is a huge regional hospital for the south.

I've just been told they can't tell me what's going on, they aren't sure if it's miscarriage, ectopic, a twin loss or progesterone issues.
I feel I've lost it, 8 in 16 months.

They are discharging me this morning.... to come back
Next week and find out. I am beyond heartbroken and lost, I don't know what to do. All I've been told is they don't know and to carry on progesterone

My husband keeps crying so I have to be strong for him and try and hide it from my dd (7), I don't want to go home- I don't know where to go or what to do, I want to sit and cry and scream at how unfair it all is but I can't because dh is back at work, childcare needs doing, everyone needs feeding, house needs tidying and dog needs waking.

I'm sorry if you've got this far, and I don't know what I'm asking for but anyone just to chat to would be nice

Sorry to hear what your going through. Could you ask to speak to a consultant before your discharged?

How awful. So sorry you're going through this. When have they booked you in for next week?

I can't answer your questions but didn't want to ignore you. I'm sorry you are going through this awful time. Virtual handhold to you

It's been a while since I did Obs and Gynae, but surely pain requiring morphine they must do a scan to rule out an ectopic??

Thank you all for taking the time to talk to me

The consultant has seen me and made it pretty obvious I'm a weekend inconvenience and he can offer no more.

They just say there's no one to scan me and if there was an internal scan will cause me more trauma.

I need to try and get dressed, and go home I guess

Such difficult times for you. My heart is with you.

I feel for you.

Can you contact PALS at your current hospital?

Is the consultant you are seeing attached to early pregnancy or the fertility unit? Both should have a doctor on call so ask the other to be contacted.

Is there a family member or friend who could take your seven year old? I would do this for someone I only knew vaguely if they were in hospital so don’t be afraid to ask.

Sometimes you have to be the squeaky wheel. Be polite but demanding. You deserve to be looked after properly in this situation.

Thank you, my dh has dd and my lovely in-laws.

The consultant is an oncology consultant. He says he has liased with EPAU.

I just feel like this is a huge setback

So the consultant doesn’t actually have a specialism in this area?

Can your husband leave DD with his family and come in to advocate for you?

Am internal scan won’t cause trauma at all. With pain and bleeding, especially shoulder pain they must exclude ectopic. Ask them if they are absolutely sure it’s not an ectopic as you are scared it may rupture if you leave.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

My husbands tried, I just tried again, and all I've got is a discharge letter, some
Dihydrocodine and a EPAU appointment tomo afternoon where they may or may not scan me

The consultant said 'I think we will give you the benefit of the doubt and get you back into EPAC sometime next week'

Is it me or is that quite rude?

That's really rude and would have upset me a lot.

If they don't scan you tomorrow I'd be booking in for a private scan.

I'm a 30 year old grown woman whose a paeds nurse with a fairly high pain threshold, I'm pretty upset he said that, thank you @Emma765 for reassuring me. I'm not over reacting.

Yes I think I will be doing that! Currently tucked up in bed at home feeling a bit ropey and fragile

Was English the consultant' s first language? Just asking because there's been crossed wires a few times with mine and it's been due to language. I told him that obviously I wasn't drinking in my pregnancy and he told me off and said i need to ensure i drink enough . Might just be a lack of understanding of what that phrase means but it is incredibly rude, essentially saying they don't believe you.

Hopefully the people who actually know what they're on about tomorrow will help. Where I am, if anything happens on a weekend you go to the birthing unit and still see a midwife, it makes the world of difference from some of the stories I read on here.

Yes a huge difference, the whole place was pretty empty tbh.

Oh yes, he was English that was the worst bit

I'd book a private scan too, sorry for his they've treated you

Dreadful to be treated like that!
Have u been tested for pregnancy diabetes? My mothers friends daughter had lots of miscarriages and she finally was diagnosed with that.. with treatment she has gone full term and has given birth to 2 healthy kids!

@Shoebedoo I haven't but that's really interesteming! Congratulations to your daughter I shall check it out

Apologies! Your mothers friends daughter

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wanted to comment to say that I too felt this way. I never thought that I was being listened to, I hated their slightly irritated attitude on the phone, I hated listening to ‘advise’ that was clearly wrong, and I hated being told to speak to the GP when the GP would send me straight back to EPAU. I’m still going through it now - 12 weeks on and still left with things unfinished. When I’m strong enough I will be contacting PALS. I also work in the NHS so I’m gutted at my experience. I really hope things pick up for you xxx

Thank you @KatieJayne86 I totally feel like that, if I'm feeling like that I feel for the patients who aren't HCPs, when I feel stronger I think I will see pals too

Well been to EPAU, I hadn't got a scan booked but because I complained to pals this morning they have scanned me.

It's confirmed I'm 6 weeks and it's a ectopic Beeding removal. They are keeping me here for the time being

I am so sorry

So sorry