Brown spotting after D&C, how long for?

[KnitKitty]

I had a D&C for MMC last week on Tuesday. Bled for 3 or 4 days and then have had brown spotting since then.

Every time I think it's stopping, it starts again. I didn't have any on Sunday (or hardly any), didn't put a pad in the next day and then made a mess of my underwear. I'll go for almost a whole day with nothing and then a bit more will appear.

How long did yours last for?

I was told not to have sex until bleeding has stopped as there is a risk of infection - I'm assuming that includes this brown spotting, even though it's intermittent?

I found out I was pregnant on February 18th, and was roughly 4-5 weeks along. Started bleeding on and off a few days later, but that stopped after about 2 weeks and then I found out about the MMC on the 7th March and it's been a long, drawn out journey which I am just sick to the back teeth of now. I want my body and life back to normal.

Morning ladies,

My digital test still says pregnant but only 1-2 so hopefully that means it's coming to an end. I've been offered a scan tomorrow so I'm going to go just to get confirmation that there's nothing left and not have to keep worrying. Hopefully the bleeding will stop soon as it's been two weeks today since the op.

Hope anyone testing today gets a negative so that you know your body has done what it needs to and you can work towards preparing yourself for AF and knowing your cycles are starting again. Even though seeing a negative is going to be hard it's also difficult to see a positive knowing full well that there's no baby 😢

I had a really mixed day yesterday. One minute I'm doing okay just feeling anxious but managing to leave the house, the next I'm in bed crying my eyes out. My husband says he hates it when I cry because it's making him feel like he's doing something wrong and should be doing more. Now I feel guilty for grieving because I don't want him to feel bad. Just can't win.

RedRobin7 you do need to cry to help you cope emotionally, keeping it locked up is not a great idea. But equally, hang on to those moments when you feel a bit better and use those to try to feel a bit more normal again. Grief is like surfing. You get big waves of emotion that you just have to ride out, and then you get moments of feeling ok again. The waves will start to get further and further apart, but they'll probably still always be there, even if they become more like ripples.
Try to explain to your husband that he's done nothing wrong and that you just need a good cry. Reassure him that he's doing a good job of being there for you (assuming he is?) Does he know about the counselling you're getting? It might be good for him to be aware that you're getting help on how to deal with all this so he doesn't feel he's responsible for making you feel better when he feels like he doesn't know how.

The Miscarriage Association have help for partners too. I don't know if that's purely to help them with the emotions of losing a baby or if it's also on how to support their partners, but it might be worth mentioning to him.

I woke up with tears in my eyes this morning because I'd been dreaming about the miscarriage and being around people who were pregnant. I dreamt I ran out of the room and went to cry in the toilets and woke up with actual tears. I think seeing the positive test yesterday set me back a bit.

I didn't have any spotting yesterday but I've kept a pad in today because I don't want a repeat of what happened last week!!
Annoying though, because I still don't really want to have sex before seeing that negative test and I don't think I should test again until next week. My partner is coping really well, bless him. It would be nice if we could get back to normal for both of us. I told him about the dreams last night and he said he felt bad because pretty much everything that could have gone wrong has done along this journey... Had bleeding when pregnant, then the baby stopped growing, body didn't miscarry on its own, had two failed attempts at medical management and now it's taking forever for the HCG to leave my system!

I am holding on to the hope that my body was so ready to be pregnant that it didn't want to give up on the pregnancy. I'm telling myself it's a good sign for the next one.

Morning @RedRobin7

I'm in same boat as you tested this am & still positive. 🙁
Was faint line on a FRER though so likewise hoping that means my hcg is pretty low now. Have only a little amount of brown discharge now which seems to be getting lighter & otherwise feel fine so will test again at the end of the week I think.
Also think (though may just be optimism) that I'm starting a new cycle last couple of days as my temp is dropping quite a bit and I feel like I do after I usually come off AF hormonally. 🤞 anyway.

I thinks it's perfectly natural to have fluctuations in your mood throughout the day. I hope so anyway as I'm exactly the same! Start the morning off feeling positive & great & by afternoon- doesn't even need to be any trigger- and I'm in tears again. I think It's not surprising though when you think it is only been 2-3 weeks since it all happened though. Is nothing really. I know what you mean though my OH is away working at the moment went away for 3 weeks day after the surgery & has been feeling really bad about not being here & so feel I have to seem fine when speaking to him but have not been doing very good with that as he's my main support network through this really & well I need his support!
You will know him & whether is a good idea or not but maybe you could chat to him about how your feeling? Say your feeling guilty that he feels bad, that you get why he feels that way but you just need him to physically be there & listen sometimes & then he's doing everything right.

Men often process their emotions differently & think it's common that they mostly worry about being sting for us at times like this.

I had a pretty bad night last night. Had felt like I'd had a pretty good day overall & felt confident to have a look on Facebook as I feel out the loop with things socially at the moment. Was a bad idea! Another old uni friend had a pregnancy announcement EDD just after when mine would have been 😭 Just brings back all the feelings of why me, why can't I do this, what's wrong with me etc... Amazing how quickly all these negative thoughts snap back after so much effort to stop them. 🙁 One day at a time I guess.

Hope your scan goes ok @RedRobin7 let us know how it goes.

Sorry guys I really don't know how I manage to keep writing this in bold! Maybe I should stop tagging! 🙈

I'm on my break at work. Today is not a good day. I keep crying and having to hide myself away. A couple of colleagues have given me hugs. But I just feel like curling upin a duvet anc hiding from the world. Bring on 7 o'clock.

Hope you're having better days than mr.

Sorry about the FB announcements Jessabean. It's hard isn't it?

I'm sorry you've had such a rubbish day knitkitty. "Hugs" I hope you can have a nice evening now to take your mind off it.

Is nice that you have some supportive work colleagues looking out for you.
I had a day like that when I first went back last week. A colleague who'd heard I was pregnant but not about the miscarriage was quizzing me/trying to spill the beans I was pregnant- had to tell her in the end what happened- was awful! Pretty sure a handful of colleagues saw me crying as I was having to dart into office/loo on & off the whole day. Most who I think saw are male colleagues that I think just felt awkward though so did the whole pretend they haven't seen anything thing/haven't said anything since. Think in part it's the environment I work in. Is a kind of profession where you're just expected to be ok really & get on with things though saying that my boss is amazing & supportive & I could have it so much worse.

As you say these emotions really do come in waves & is amazing the things that even subconsciously can trigger the lows. Just know you will feel better again & is ok that don't right now. We'll get there. XxxX

So sorry you had a bad day KnitKitty 😢 It's so hard having to be at work when you're feeling like this. Hope you are feeling better this evening.

You are so right about grief being like surfing. It definitely comes in waves. I don't think I've cried today even though it was hard to see the positive test. I just feel a bit lost today and anxious. My chest has been tight and my heart racing all day. I'm feeling nervous about my scan tomorrow - do you think they'll want to do an internal one? I'm not worried about that as I've had two of those recently but I'm nervous because of the bleeding and wearing a pad. How does that work? I don't know if I should mention that I'm bleeding when they say it's an internal scan they're doing. I guess they're used to this though so know what they're doing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm supposed to be going to a 3 day work event tomorrow but I've already told Work I'm just going to 1 day on Thursday (unless my scan reveals I need another op and I won't go at all). Means I have to see everyone in our business unit and I'm not entirely sure who knows what. I've not seen my manager since January, it was the day before I found out I was pregnant, so I'm not sure if she's going to bring it up. She's been very supportive by email but she is known to say inappropriate things. I hope she doesn't upset me as there's going to be so many people around!

My husband is being supportive and I do keep telling him that he shouldn't take my crying personally. It's my way of dealing with things and I think he knows that deep down. His comments are just starting to annoy me now. I'm trying to openly talk to him but I do find it hard. He has struggled with anxiety for the last couple of years so I don't feel like I can say I feel anxious in case it makes him think about his own anxiety!

Jessabean sorry to hear you've had a positive today too. It's so hard to see. I agree though it's good to think that our bodies are holding onto the pregnancy and were trying hard not to let us down. I want to have the scan tomorrow just to double check there's nothing left behind and also to find out if there's a reason for the pains I'm still getting. They could still be confused with ovulation pain but wouldn't expect it to be going on for this long. I'm also so over all this brown bleeding now and I am already dreading a heavy period. I'm scared in case I'm at work and In pain when it comes. I guess I can just ask to leave and work from home but it's not nice having to explain it. It's frustrating not knowing when it'll arrive and if the brown bleeding will continue until it does.

I haven't been avoiding social media and I've also seen some pregnancy posts. It's really making me question life too, it's just not fair.

Yes I am lucky with my colleagues. One of them had an eptopic pregnancy before so gets what I'm going through. I mostly work with women who are very supportive and a man whose wife also has endometriosis so he's talked to me a lot about the process of having kids. Interesting to get the perspective of a dad sometimes. We're quite a close team. I'm not actually sure who knows or doesn't, as I told my manager I didn't mind people knowing because I didn't want lots of questions when I got back from sick leave. I think a few of them know but haven't mentioned it.

That must have been really awkward and upsetting having to tell the colleague who was fishing for information. I bet she was mortified!

Feeling a bit brighter again. My partner is cooking for me and keeps coming in to the living room doing silly dances.

RedRobin7, let us know how the scan goes, won't you? What time is it?

Aww, RedRobin7, if your partner suffers from anxiety this must be really hard for him too, and not knowing what to do to make things better. How does he deal with the anxiety?

I think if I were you, at a moment when you're feeling fairly stable emotionally, just say that you'd rather he left you to cry without saying anything for now and that you'll approach him if you need him. It might stop him saying things that accidentally irritate you?

I hope your manager doesn't say anything to upset you.

That's great you have such a close team. I work in a European team (one of many teams at my company) so I'm the only English person in my team. I do sit with other teams but they are all close and I feel like an outsider. When they have team meetings I'm sat on my own. I know some of the other teams in the UK know but I'm not sure who in my own team knows because I have only seen one of them since the MMC! I guess I'll find out on Thursday as people will either avoid me or seem uncomfortable. It's usually obvious!

Haha not just my partner who does weird dances to cheer me up!

The scan is at 10am and I will let you know how I get on 😊 Fingers crossed for the all clear.

My husband had therapy and is now on anti anxiety meds but he does still struggle regularly. It was a random undiagnosed illness which causes his anxiety and because of that he blames himself for the miscarriage and thinks that it's his dodgy DNA that caused it. I said we will never know why this happened and it's probably my stupid body because of my PCOS. We can't live like this so just have to try again when we can and be positive that maybe it will work out for us.

When I was crying yesterday he left the house and told me to get it all out so maybe he has already had the same thought process as you about leaving me to it. I also asked him why he doesn't just cuddle me as sometimes that's just what I need but he said he's not always in a cuddly mood. I don't think that really matters when your wife is grieving. I just cuddle him and he gets the message!

Glad you're feeling a bit brighter this evening knitkitty. I like the random dancing to cheer you up- my OH is still away at the moment so is just me in the evenings but whacked up music this pm whilst cooking/cleaning & made me feel a lot better- though think my neighbour over the road now maybe thinks I'm a bit of a weirdo after my slightly hysterical dancing/karaoke!

It was pretty bad with the work thing - in a way my main thought at the time was oh god you're going to feel awful when I tell you how do I make this less awkward! She was actually very good about it all- she was telling me how she had 3 miscarriages between her 2nd and 3rd children (who are now all grown up). Really appreciated her telling me & In a way made me feel better & more normal but at the same time when people tell me they've had these problems at the end of their reproductive journeys doesn't really make me feel that much better about having them at the beginning of mine really! Was more when I went away that it hit me though as would be the time that I would be sharing the news with people & that this should be a really happy time & it's really not. Oh well our time will come!

RedRobin I hope that your boss doesn't make you feel awkward at all & they really shouldn't be telling people- that would be really unprofessional. It is awful when you feel a bit isolated at work too. Feel a bit like that at the moment. I have a couple of really close female colleagues up here but both are doing a placement in a different city at the moment & wont be back for another few months & one is pregnant too so in a way dreading when they will come back! 🙈 Most of the other colleagues I'm surrounded by at the moment are guys who I do get on with but it's all light joking, banter- nice distraction at times- but can feel a bit isolated from the guy chat too at times.

Can be difficult when your partner grieves/ deals emotionally in a different way but it sounds like your both finding a way of coping whilst still communicating and connecting with each other which is the main thing. Think you're right & maybe best thing sometimes is just space - as long as you both know you're doing it for each other.

Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you tomorrow that your scan is straightforward. The fact that we've all still got positives should hopefully mean that this is all fairly normal hopefully.

XxxX

Morning!
First FB post I saw when I woke up was a baby announcement 😢
I also saw a post on the Miscarriage Society page which was nice to read and I share many of these feelings so if you're not on there here's the link:

collectedthinks.com/2018/04/09/spring/

I also keep seeing the September board I was on popping up towards the top. I miss being a part of that group and sharing the excitement 💔

Sitting in the EPU waiting room today was so hard. There was a guy crying his eyes out and his wife being the one to comfort him. Then another woman just started crying uncontrollably down the corridor. Heartbreaking.

My scan was okay. No obvious tissue remaining but my uterus is full of clots so more to come 🙄 They said if the test is still positive on Monday I'll have to see a consultant. Nervous about what my body will do since I have PCOS and crazy hormones.

I'm supposed to be working but sat in Costa instead. My chest is still so tight 😔 Damn anxiety.

Hope everyone has a better day today.

Glad the scan went ok @RedRobin7 - but hugs to you for having to go through it at all.

When I was in the EPAU I couldn't stop sobbing, and I felt so guilty when others came in to wait. It's so very hard. Hopefully the clots will pass without needing the consultant xx

I'm sorry you've had a rubbish day today RedRobin7 . I'm glad there's no tissue left, but the clotting is just annoying. I hope it all passes quickly and painlessly and that the pregnancy test on Monday is negative.

Well, I haven't bled for three days on the trot now. I didn't put a pad in today for the first time in what feels like months (and probably is!)

I'm going to do a pregnancy test again tomorrow morning. I don't really want to start having sex again until I see a negative to avoid confusion if I get a positive again before AF (although I won't be trying to get one).

Yesterday I really felt like I must have had a crash in hormones because I got so emotional so suddenly out of nowhere, but I know that happens with grief too. I've had a bit of boob pain today, and felt a bit weirdly period-ish yesterday, so I'm hoping it's all signs my body is getting back to "normal"

Glad there was no pregnancy left that needs removing in your scan today RedRobin. Feel for you Is so hard to go to EPUs generally I think. Just revisits the trauma of all that's happened. Dreading the thought of ever having to go back for any possible future 12 week scans in the maternity hospital....sitting in that waiting room seeing all the happy couples emerging, thinking here we go again...Think I'd have to book a private scan elsewhere just before to deal with it. That is rubbish about the bleeding & clots though 🤞your body will sort them all out this week and tests and clots will be negative/gone by Monday.
I'm just on kind of yellow/brown ish discharge now so hoping that means it's almost done. Just wearing a pantyliner more so that I know what's happening still than anything else.
Have also been getting off boob pain last couple of days knitkitty. Hoping it's not my boobs shrinking as had to go out and buy new bra at the weekend as boobs had grown so much this pregnancy & not gone completely down the last couple of weeks. Would be typical if they completely shrink now! 🙄

Not sure how today's been to be honest up & down but overall I'm functioning now without needing to cry most of the time. Not sure if this is me coming to terms with things or just suppressing. Have just found out another person at work is pregnant now though...that's 6 colleagues now in total...that I know of! 🙈

Hope you guys are all having a good evening.
XxxX

Jessabean sorry to hear there's yet another person at work who's pregnant. Is there something in the water there?!?!

How are you coping without your partner around? When is he going to be back?

Your boobs hurting might be to do with the fit of your new bra maybe? Otherwise it might be HCG leaving your system. In the information they gave me on miscarriage from the hospital it said it's normal to get boob pains and you can even lactate! I think that's maybe if you've got further along in the pregnancy though.

I took a leaf out of your book and had a bit of a kitchen disco earlier. Having a crazy-dance can help.

Thanks knitkitty. I know it is actually getting ridiculous the volume of people around me who are pregnant now. I know we're at that age when everyone is getting married & TTC but it's also people who are nowhere near the same age/point in life as me & happen to have just decided/accidentally become pregnant now as well. Know there's an element of being more aware & heightened to it at the moment- but swear I have never been surrounded by so many gestating women at any other point in my life! Feels like the universe is mocking me sometimes...

I'm doing ok thanks for asking. It has been really tough being alone the last couple of weeks though if I'm being honest. We're both quite independent people & usually are absolutely fine with our jobs & having our own space for a week or two here or there. I did really need him here this time though & I think I wouldn't have been struggling quite so much if he were. Couldn't be avoided though as was really important career wise for him to go on this trip. He's back next Tuesday so not long & I'm going to my parents this weekend which will make things easier too.

Think the boobs were the hcg dropping- boobs feel less firm than they did a couple of days ago- though luckily seem to be the same bra size!

Glad you found the kitchen karaoke useful! Think I may do more if the same this evening! How are you feeling about everything now generally?

Also @RedRobin7 how are you doing now after yesterday?

@Jessabean Thanks for asking 😊 I'm at my work event now and a couple of guys made a few comments that I didn't join the whole thing which was a bit awkward. Another guy said "oh it's been a whole year since I announced my wife was pregnant" 🙄 I think he probably regretted saying it the second he said it so I just said that I remembered that day so he didn't feel awkward. I felt like people were looking at me all night because I had a few drinks and laughed away but doesn't mean I'm okay.

The bleeding has been very light today so I'm hoping maybe it's slowing down but I'm still worried about when these clots are all going to come out. Glad you've not had much bleeding and @KnitKitty hasn't had any bleeding for a few days. It's definitely helpful to know what other people are experiencing especially since our ops were around the same time. I'm already feeling so anxious about my first period. I'm not ready to see so much blood again so soon.

I was looking at my calendar today trying to guess when my period might come and when we might next be able to try and when our due date could be if we got lucky first time... then I think I'm crazy because we might not succeed and then we could end up having a MC again so what's the point in obsessing about all this. I just hate the thought of still being in this life just the way I am now at this time next year.

I thought I was having a better day today but now tonight I'm feeling lost again. Possibly the alcohol! Oh and to top it off I've fallen out with my husband because he made a stupid comment about his own thoughts 🙄 At least I'm away for the next two nights so maybe when I see him we'll have forgotten what it was even about!

Unfortunately my boobs have shrunk back to their original non-existent size. I was hoping maybe they'd stay a little bigger than pre-pregnancy size but that was wishful thinking!!

Evening ladies,

Jessabean, my boobs don't feel as firm either. A shame, but a good sign.

I hope you have a nice weekend with your parents. That's a long time for you and your partner to be apart, you've been doing so well coping on your own with all this!

RedRobin7 awkward situations just pop up all the time at work, don't they? Well done for coping with that.
I have managed to stay away from the temptation of looking at calendars, but it's hard having to be so patient.

I had a beer one night last week, it was pretty much the first drink I'd had since last year and tasted great because I'd been fancying one since I found out I was pregnant, but I know that alcohol doesn't mix well with my anxiety so I've stopped drinking again now.

I did an hour of exercise in my living room this afternoon and was shocked when I put my gym clothes on... I've lost a lot of weight around my waist since losing the pregnancy. I think I was eating for two a little too well but my appetite has really decreased in the last couple of weeks. I'm going to try and get fitter again and use this time before TTC to get back in to shape.

I took another pregnancy test this morning. Still very positive.

@KnitKitty I'm going to join the gym next week as maybe I need to get healthier. I'm a size 10 but feel much bigger since the pregnancy - think I was eating for two too. Even my husband thought it was funny to tell me I was getting a podgy tummy - I think he thinks that's okay when you're not actually "fat" but it wasn't helping to hear that!!

Are you doing a cheap line test? Sounds like your levels are higher than mine and the EPU want to keep an eye on mine. Perhaps you should get some advice if it's still very positive on Monday. Hopefully our bodies know what to do and it'll all resolve itself.

Feels more awkward at my work event today. Turns out more people know than I realised but it's not a secret so I'm not that bothered. It doesn't need to be as awkward as people make it!

I did a left-over Morrison's own brand test for my last one, so a fairly cheap test. I've just bought a Boot's own brand for the next one. Which ones have you been using?

I will certainly ring the EPU if it's still positive next week. However they did my surgery under ultrasound (because I have a weird womb) so I'm pretty sure they were certain they got everything so I think they'll just tell me to keep testing weekly or something, unless they want to bring me in for blood tests. I don't know if I can cope with another scan, I've had 5 already since the end of February!

It's awkward when you get the feeling that people are talking about it without you, isn't it? I have the feeling that some people at work know but they daren't mention it. I wouldn't be bothered if they did though, I don't mind talking about it, it makes it feel like the baby I was growing was worth acknowledging if people mention it. There's a lady at work who lost her baby at 36 weeks and we had a bit of a chat about that today. I would have been too worried to talk openly about it before, but now I understand more that usually people want to talk about it but don't really like bringing up the subject themselves.

How are you guys today? I'm not feeling too bad.

Hi,

Sorry for everyone's losses. I had an ERPC yesterday following a missed miscarriage, so slightly different from a D&C.

The bleeding has pretty much stopped already though I'm quite sore today (feel like I've been punched in the stomach). Just glad it's over. Of course I'm still sad but I'm mostly relieved it's over. Then I feel guilty for feeling relieved