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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

No heartbeat at 11 week scan

11 replies

Emnewcastle · 03/02/2018 22:10

Guys I'm gutted. Had a scan today and was told it only measured 8 weeks with no heartbeat. Had no signs or symptoms to suggest anything was wrong so it was a total shock and me and hubby are devastated. I'm now supposed to be eleven weeks so it's been dead for 3 weeks and still no bleeding or sign of miscarriage. Has anyone else been through this? How long did it take to begin bleeding? I'm absolutely terrified of what is to come 😢

OP posts:

MoreProsecco · 03/02/2018 22:19

so sorry you're going through this, it must be such a shock. MMC are particularly cruel, as there are no signs anything was wrong.

I had a MMC at 11.5 weeks, following a good scan at 8+5. I was given the option of medical management in hospital, or surgery. I chose surgery & it was a few days later, over very quickly & fairly painless.

Give yourself some time to grieve, and be kind to yourself.

Original poster

Emnewcastle · 03/02/2018 22:32

Thank you for your reply. I want to go for the same option if I'm given the choice. With it being the weekend I won't be able to do anything until Monday though so I'm just hoping nothing happens before then.

OP posts:

Isadora2007 · 03/02/2018 22:35

So sorry for your loss. May your little star be remembered always 🌟

MoreProsecco · 03/02/2018 23:36

I was also worried about it starting naturally, but it thankfully never did. My SIL also had a MMC & waited for "nature to take it's course" & it was about 2-3 months. I wouldn't have been able to carry on at work & looking after DS in case it happened unpredictably.

I bought some plants for the garden to remember my baby by; I've heard of people naming stars etc.

Miscarriages are so hard 💐

Hortonlovesahoo · 04/02/2018 18:28

I’m so sorry for your loss x

I wasn’t allowed to do it naturally as there was risk that I’d bleed out (my first pregnancy I had a placenta that didn’t come away and I ended up being rushed into surgery to get it removed). I had a d&c and it was fine for me and I felt it was a better option for me emotionally too

Cakelaur · 04/02/2018 21:10

So sorry you’re going through this. It’s shit isn’t it.

I had a similar thing. But found out at 8+4 early scan that bub had no heart beat and measured 6+5. I had surgical erpc the following day and physically recovered within a few days. Negative hpt two weeks later and now waiting to ovulate. But hoping my body is sort of on track to return to normal.
The emotional side of it has hit me a little harder than I expected.

Megbh88 · 04/02/2018 22:31

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I've just had the same news for the third time. Take time to grieve and look after yourself.

I always opted for the natural way. Each time the bleeding has always come around a week after being told, in the first case it was a day after my scan. Everyone has their own preference and way to deal with it.

Sending lots of love x

Original poster

Emnewcastle · 04/02/2018 22:32

It's the emotional side I'm already not coping very well with too! Yeah it's proper shit!
Me and my husband are both heartbroken and I feel awful because I know I'm withdrawing from him and want to be on my own which he doesn't understand. It's just the way I've always dealt with things.
Going to call the early pregnancy unit tomorrow and hopefully get it all over with asap x

OP posts:

rainbowruthie · 04/02/2018 22:34

I'm so sorry for your loss

Megbh88 · 04/02/2018 22:38

Try your hardest to involve him. After our second I realised how important it was to be just as supportive to my partner. He was feeling just as much pain as me.
You need to speak to people and be honest with your feelings.

Stay well and positive as your next scan may be different to mine. The dates might be wrong and everything may be fine. I know it'll be a long week ahead but it'll come in no time xxx

Cakelaur · 04/02/2018 22:41

@Emnewcastle I found that I withdrew from my OH as well. For about a week and then one day I just broke down and he heard me and I found him to truly be amazing. As much as he was hurting he put me first. And I said nothing. He just held me and squeezed me. The next time I broke down I sobbed random words at him. And it continued to now where I don’t have to say much but he just said just there.
So be patient. Hopefully you can lean on each other. And hopefully it makes you stronger as a couple. I know it has for us.
The only difference is that I wanna talk about it now and include the baby in our journey and his way of dealing with it is to try and forget, but we’ll find our way to deal with it.
Sending hugs and a big squeeze.
Xx

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