Chromosome problems in sperm DNA

[user1497292248]

I've recently suffered a miscarriage so I know totally what everyone goes through. Why is it always the women's fault for miscarriage though? Could it not be a chromosome problem in the male? My partner is healthy ish but he does like a beer or 2 on the wkends! Is this a problem really? Or is there a lot of scare mongering on the internet? I don't know what to think anymore if anything at all 😡! What are people's thoughts? Xx

Sorry for your loss. I haven't heard it's all the ladies fault in terms of miscarriage. It can be problems on both sides or just bad luck xx

I'm so sorry for your loss

Given that a relative of mine makes a living investigating genetic disorders passed from the father I think it's safe to say it isn't always the mother's "fault" even if that were a useful concept - it's not as though you knowingly did anything, genetics is a funny old beast and sometimes goes awry all on its own.

Do be kind to yourself, and to each other. Best wishes.

The DNA is 50/50.

I the book it starts with the egg, the advice is the same for men and women; cut or zero caffeine, best to have no alcohol ideally, more likely to have failed preg or mc of male has been drinking the week/ months before ivf.

It takes almost 3 months for speem to become completely 'clean', as an egg takes 3 months to mature. So if on supplements, both should start 3 months prior to ttc.

I too have found this difficult from my partners perspective as there keeps being birthday events for friends and he's had some huge successes at work which were celebrated (and rightly so - never again type of stuff) but it feels like he's therefore had a heavy night every other weekend or even every weekend last month!

The problem is you can't let this rule your life!

My partner has pretty much stopped anything during the week and does understand my POV. We are both trying to cut back (I hardly have any anyway though).

So do u think the alcohol can cause miscarriage? I know loads of people who don't change and have perfectly healthy pregnancies! I don't know if I'm just reading to much into things! Should u not try if uve been drinking? We don't drink in the week but do on a fri/sat. I just don't think it's realistic 😩 I wish there was more concrete evidence on stuff like this. Thanks for your response

No one can make the direct causational link. E.g. That drinking = mc.

Studies show greater success in ivf settings if no or very low amount of alcohol is consumed by the man. Most mc are due to chromosomal issues which could be from either side. Alcohol is know to affect sperm and egg quality- they're not sure if moderate drinking affects it or not, heavy does, except that there's greater success in the ivf setting if not drunk at all the month/ week before. Drinking (esp binge drinking) causes oxidative stress which contributes to DNA damage. (Apparently!)

However, regular sex (or ejaculation) for a few days before ttc can also improve sperm quality, as can many other things.

Age is a definite for both men and women, esp after 40 (where we are ) DNA starts to be less perfect generally.

But yes, many people do conceive naturally and healthily while drinking.

We can't outright blame a mc on the man - I do find it frustrating though when I'm cutting back and he isn't!

As kindly as I can ... if it's "not realistic" to give up drinking, are you ready to be pregnant? Your life changes so much during pregnancy and with a small baby.

Or do you mean a small port with your Stilton? The odd unit here and there (2 or 3 up to twice a week) is generally considered absolutely fine.

I gave up alcohol completely before ttc because I intended on a completely alcohol free pregnancy, and you're pregnant before you know you are iyswim. I found it easier to have none than "just one".

(Port and Stilton is a joke btw in case that wasn't obvious. I mean very low levels of at-home with-food alcohol as opposed to multiple blue WKD on the dance floor)

For most people early (1st trimester) miscarriages are just bad luck, often due to a chromosomal abnormality that has 'happened' while the embryo is developing. When cells divide and grow rapidly there are a lot of opportunities for mistakes to occur when chromosomes are copied into new cells. Usually a further pregnancy will develop fine in future. All the other things you mention are just risk factors that might very slightly increase the risk of one of these genetic mistakes happening. Occasionally for some people it is a more serious pre-existing issue due to the combination of your DNA and your partner's, but this is much more unusual.
It's hard when you want it so much, all the best for the future.

I barely drink at all, just low levels maybe on fri/sat (definitely not getting hammered on a dance floor) I defo not in pregnancy. Once I've finished my period and back into fertile window no alcohol! Until I come back on period! I've just had mc so I'm now back on first cycle since so trying again. TBH neither of us drink in the week but hubby has a few beers on wkend. Then nothing in the week leading to fertile window and nothing whilst I'm ovulating! We don't smoke and both very healthy and active! I guess when uve had a mc u want to make sure it doesn't happen again. That's the part I think is unrealistic and I'm totally ready for life with a baby!

Thanks so much for this reply very helpful!

I don't think that counts as drinking in terms of ttc Sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.

Best of luck for your next cycle. Fwiw I've heard there's a fertility boost after mc (worked for me for DC2 and then for DC3, each conceived very quickly after mc) so fingers firmly crossed for you.

Of course you do, that's a totally natural reaction, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. The only other thing I should mention is that things like soft cheeses aren't recommended due to the risk from listeria infection which can trigger a mc, and there are one or two other foods with similar risks which I'm sure you know about (they will be on NHS choices if not). Best of luck

Thanks guys xx

It doesn't sound like bad drinking at all!

The NHS give guidelines for a reason. I think my post is science heavy - regurgitating the book.

1 in 4 pregnancies end in mc, naturally, often unknown by the woman as they're often early. In the ivf context they advise to cut it out the week/ month before. There could be many other factors at play there.

Yeah I just think maybe im over thinking! Hubby drinks more than me but overall not to much. I'm driving myself crazy! All posts are helpful from everyone tho

I guess when you have a miscarriage you'll grab onto anything as a reason 'why' to help understand and process it, it makes you feel like you have some control in what happened. I had an early MC in between my boys. I'm sorry for your loss.

I know it's so easy to say, but please try not to blame yourself (or your partner) or look for a 'reason'. The sad truth is there probably isn't one.

I absolutely know how it feels - I tortured myself over the fact that I'd had a few drinks a few days before I found out about my first pregnancy (which I miscarried). So I gave up drinking, and then miscarried another two times. I think we can now safely say it wasn't those two glasses of prosecco!

I also agree that it's hard to give up entirely - and I'm a bit at the suggestion that it means you'll struggle to give up while pregnant! I've been trying to get pregnant and either failing or miscarrying for a year now. It's a bit miserable, and not being able to have the odd drink when everyone else is (and have people give you knowing looks, which is the worst bit) is miserable too. I gave up without a second thought once I got a positive test, but it's easy to not drink when you have a reason as good and happy as being pregnant. It's a bit harder when there's no happy reason. It's hard enough trying to 'relax' and 'not obsess' and 'try to not think about it' (as everyone endlessly keeps telling me) without being reminded of your unhappily unpregnant state every time you just want to have a glass of wine with a friend.

Thanks for ur response. It is hard to remain positive when uve had a miscarriage let alone multiple mc, im sorry for what ur going through it's so tough! When uve had a mc I felt it almost seems sadistic to try again! But I guess life goes on and if u want a baby uve gotta keep trying,
Your right about the drinking thing, it's very easy to give it up when ur pregnant but when ur a bit down and not pregnant and everyone else is drinking u just want to join in! My hubby bless him has a stressful job and long commutes and likes a couple of beers after work but he's given it up and just has a couple on the wkend and that's all we can do! We can't let it take over our life's! And yes so annoying when people tell u not to think about it 🙄 Easier said!!!!!!! We have lots of people around us having baby after baby no problems etc but no one who can relate to what we are going through so these networks are great!!