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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

How long before u were pregnant again?

23 replies

Misssmoo · 17/04/2017 10:42

I had a d and c 2 weeks ago at 13 weeks..baby died at 8 weeks found out when I started bleeding and we t for a scant at 12 weeks...I was devestated and I feel.totally empty.

Everywhere I look there are people announcing there pregnancies or births and I don't want to be bitter.

Wondering when to try again but absolutely terrified in case this happens again.

Xxx

OP posts:

MissBel12 · 17/04/2017 14:31

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss, that must have been devastating, and the feelings of emptiness and bitterness are completely normal. I lost mine 2 weeks ago and I think the only way I'll know I'm ready is if I can imagine getting a positive and feeling happy and strong (and of course a bit anxious too). Right now if I got one I don't think I'd feel happy at all, I'd just be way too scared and not ready to potentially go through all this again. Not sure if that makes sense, but what I mean is there's no right timeframe in terms of months/years, it's just how you feel when you think you might be ready.
My close friend had an mmc at 12 weeks, baby died at 8 weeks. I'm not sure how soon afterwards they tried, but she was pregnant 6 months later, and is now almost due and is having a very strong healthy pregnancy. Another friend had a MC a year ago and can barely even speak about it, let alone think about trying again. I guess everyone is different

DancingUnicorn · 17/04/2017 15:11

Missbel I think that's a really good way of looking at it. My mmc was two weeks ago, and I feel the same. I desperately want a baby, but right now the thought of a positive pregnancy test is utterly petrifying. I don't see how I could function with that knowledge.

Missmoo. You're right. It's everywhere. Just sat in a restaurant and there was a huge group opposite. Two young fields, under 5. Two baby boys, one still breastfeeding. One heavily pregnant lady. Delicious lunch, but spent the whole time trying not to cry with my in laws.

Original poster

Misssmoo · 17/04/2017 19:54

I know what u mean ...I feel like I want to try but I'm so scared but I dono think this will go away whether I wait 1 month or 1 year xx

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 17/04/2017 19:57

Oh my lovely. I've been there. My first pg ended when I had a scan at 13 1/2 weeks. No heartbeat and ERPC followed. It was awful. I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world.
I waited a month I think. For dating purposes. I was pg in three months. (First time took 4 months to fall pg.)
He's now 13!
I have since had another child too. Mmc happens. But having had one doesn't mean you will have another.
It hurts though.

DancingUnicorn · 17/04/2017 20:00

I know... I don't know either. I can just hope in a few more weeks it'll feel less heart wrenchingly raw.

Wolfiefan · 17/04/2017 20:02

Give yourself time. You have suffered a loss. I think it was partly so awful as it was my first pg and I had never even heard of mmc. Thought as I had got to the scan without bleeding etc I would be fine.
It's ok to not be ok.

gaaahhhh · 17/04/2017 20:11

OP, I'm sorry for your loss.

If you are looking for positive stories, I met someone recently who sadly had a mc at about 12 weeks, but became pregnant immediately after, within less than a month.

A close friend of mine who lost a baby quite early on (before 12 weeks) was pregnant again within 2 months after.

Hope you are keeping ok and getting support

Maggy74653 · 17/04/2017 20:30

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I lost my first baby at 10 weeks through medical management for a MMC, they stopped growing at 5/6 weeks.

We started trying again after I had had one period and I got pregnant again straight away. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant. If I'm honest I found the second pregnancy really difficult. I constantly felt the same thing was going to happen again and I probably should have waited longer between losing one baby and trying again. Wishing you the best of luck for the future xx

Original poster

Misssmoo · 17/04/2017 21:11

Thanks everyone I have two children so known can carry and deliver them healthy ..it's just u do feel everything's OK at 12 weeks but sadly some women lose their baby's ...its really sad that all of us go through this.

I am really luck to have my DC but I just wanted one more I have left a bug age gap as thought our family was complete but hey ho well all get there in the end good luck ladies xxx

OP posts:

TootsyBella84 · 18/04/2017 08:06

I'm so sorry for your loss
I had a mmc naturally at 11 weeks last August and fell pregnant again on my 3rd cycle. Sadly that ended in another mmc, I had a d&c at 10 weeks in January. It took a little longer for af to start again after that one but I'm here again and 5+3, fell pregnant on the 2nd cycle and hoping for 3rd time lucky.
I also have 2 healthy children so I know my body is capable, it's so frustrating.
As for when to try again, everyone is different, both mc's absolutely floored me and I'm terrified of it happening again but I know I won't get this baby if I don't try so that's why we started to try as soon as we could.
Good luck xx

conkerchops · 18/04/2017 08:15

@misssmoo I am in exactly the same situation as you - have two wonderful dc already now 7 and 9 but have finally decided we would like one more person to complete our family - mmc in October and again nearly 3 weeks ago - and I am terrified of what being pregnant again will feel like :-(
I have to say after first mmc I did make myself chill out and worry less in second pregnancy but still had sad ending - so no idea how I will handle being pregnant again after this second mmc.
I am having counselling with a local pregnancy loss charity and that is a huge help - v good at focusing on keeping me focused on day by day and they will support me if we are lucky enough to get pregnancy again!
We are trying already as I didn't have huge amounts of bleeding after the surgery (despite having to have it twice this time!) - and whilst I am enjoying the trying I am terrified of the outcome:-( I am looking into reflexology as I have heard that is good at rebalancing cycles after miscarriage and can boost fertility - and I am also hoping it might calm me down and help quell anxiety!
We will get there and we can hold each other's hand on the way xx

Original poster

Misssmoo · 18/04/2017 09:07

It's good to know our not alone when going through the motions isn't it....my hubby is back this week and we haven't dtd since my surgery I'm. Not on any birth control so I'll see what happens. My DC are 12 and 6 and they were gutted as I had told them so have decided if u fall again won't be telling anyone..I was past 12 weeks but I hadn't had a scan so this time think I'll have a private scan and then nhs scan and tell people after that if all is okay xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Misssmoo · 18/04/2017 09:12

Also anyone else people saying ..well least you have 2 healthy kids that's really getting on my nerves...I know I do and am happy that I do but doesn't make it any easier losing a baby xxx

OP posts:

choochooo · 18/04/2017 09:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm recovering just now following a mmc - scan showed baby died at 8 weeks and I was 10 weeks pregnant.

I wanted to give you a positive story as I know exactly how you feel about desperately wanting to try again but also feeling afraid that it'll happen again. I lost my first baby at 6 weeks pregnant and within a month I was pregnant with my DS who is now nearly 2. So it's absolutely possible (and very common) to go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Do wait until you feel mentally and physically ready though, as a mc is such a difficult time.

Wishing you all the luck in the world

Macauley · 18/04/2017 09:37

I'm so sorry for your loss

I had a mc at 11 weeks and I waited till I had a period then started trying again. I think it was only about 2 months between mc and being pregnant again. Baby is now 4 months old.

I did spend a lot of the early weeks terrified it would happen again. Things that helped were I had a scan at 9 weeks then 12 weeks and taking it a day at a time. Also the ttc after mc and the positive pregnancy after mc 100% helped so much.

Best of luck but only try again when you feel ready x

Macauley · 18/04/2017 09:38

Sorry that should say the ttc after mc and positive pregnancy threads on here helped me!

Autumnsweater · 18/04/2017 09:44

It's totally rubbish isn't it . I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks then a d&c. I initially tried to get pregnant again 2 months later and it felt wrong.. i was relieved when I got my period. It was just too soon. So I gave myself another 4 months before coming off contraception again. Got pregnant within 3 months and am 35 weeks pregnant now.

I don't think there's a right or a wrong, plenty of people get pregnant right away and that was best for them. But it wasn't for me, do whatever feels right for you. And talk to your DP lots. Mine wanted to get pregnant sooner (although was supportive), but he needed supporting that we would try again and it wasn't anything he was doing wrong..

Oddsocksforeveryone · 18/04/2017 09:45

I lost my first at 10 weeks. Scan after a bleed confirmed no heart beat and I miscarried naturally a few days later. I was devastated. We tried pretty much straight away but strangely didn't get pregnant again until the month after my due date, I've always thought of it as my body's mourning period.
Honestly I thought that I would punch the next person who said something like it was meant to be.
I was told I would probably never conceive naturally so I felt I was being punished for something.
I actually found a book on miscarriage a little while later that really helped me work through it, sorry I can't remember the name but I found it in the town library.
So sorry this happened to you xxx

TurquoiseDress · 20/04/2017 19:31

Sorry to hear about the MMC Missmoo

Exact same thing happened to me last summer although I had medical management.

In terms of being pregnant again, we're now on cycle 10 and not a whiff of a BFP.

Having said that, everyone is different so it's hard to predict.

Before, I'd always fallen pregnant straight away after stopping the combined pill.

So this has been an unknown journey which I've never experienced before.

Good luck with everything.

TurquoiseDress · 20/04/2017 19:36

I have to add that the thought of TTC again soon helped me get through the miscarriage- gave me something to focus on & try to keep positive.

All I need now is for me to actually fall pregnant! Not holding my breath anymore.

MrsDarkDestroyer · 20/04/2017 19:49

So sorry for your loss, it really is such a hard thing to go through

I had a natural mmc in March last year. I waited for my next period as advised and fell pregnant on the first month trying. My ds is 13 weeks old today x

MrsDarkDestroyer · 20/04/2017 19:54

I followed SMEP.

Stuckinstressville · 22/04/2017 07:56

Am sorry for alll these losses hope you are getting the support you need.

We tried immediately after mc1and took 6months to fall pregnant then had 10wk mm1 and erpc. The tried the month after mmc1.... wish I had waited as in cycle2 was shocked as pregnant again only to lose this at 7weeks with erpc at nearly 10wks yesterday. I has a bump both times and horrendous sicknesss and wish to wait this time to replace nutrients and get fit mentally and physically. And make sure my thyroid levels drop to the lowest limit for ttc.

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