Worrying unnecessarily?

[NW10teacher]

I had a MC at 8 weeks and am now pregnant again, 6 weeks today. Earlier in the week I had a bit of bleeding and a tummy upset, but went to EPU and they said all seemed OK. They couldn't see the heartbeat so told me to come back again in 2 weeks because it was probably just too early.

I haven't had any bleeding today, but I've been having these cramps in my back and lower abdomen for a couple of hours, like period pain but worse. I don't know if I'm now just hypersensitive and worrying unnecessarily. It doesn't help that we've had a super boring day of meetings and "personal preparation" at work, so my mind is very fat from fully occupied by matters professional.

I'm basically just having a stupid panic and don't know what to do!

I should say my mind is very Far from being fully occupied, not very fat!

Perfectly understandable that you're worried Cramping in early pregnancy is common, and the scan not showing anything before 6wks is not surprising either so try not to worry. There's not much you can do other than try to stay calm.

Pregnancy after a loss is a very different ballgame isn't it

It totally is - I was completely chilled out before, now I just feel unnerved by the tiniest thing that could be a sign of something going wrong.

The cramping is still there but not any worse. I haven't told anyone at work (I'm a teacher) that I'm pregnant again, so there's no one that I can really ask for help if needed (my 2 best friends from work are away as well, 1 sick, 1 on a training visit) and I think that's making me stress out more!

I've now had a bit of bleeding as well and still have cramps. I'm leaving work now, but not sure if I should go to the EPU (they might think I'm wasting their time!) or just go home. I'm just so scared that something is wrong!

Can you phone the epau? They are always very helpful and sympathetic in my experience.

I did phone the EPU when I got home and they said to come in. I was there waiting 10 minutes and I suddenly got some really bad cramps and started bleeding more heavily, like a heavy period, and I knew that was it. It was just like the last time.

I was so grateful, tbh, that I was at the unit and at least I got some reassurance and they could check what was happening.

I just feel so bad - like, maybe it was my fault, maybe I shouldn't have gone back to work this week. At the unit they said it was most likely because of the virus I had earlier in the week and it put too much stress on my body and it couldn't cope. I can see that might be true... But I still feel so, so guilty.

I'm so sorry. Please don't feel guilty, there is absolutely now way that this is your fault.

Please don't feel guilty OP, some things are beyond our control

Thank you for your kind words - I guess I sort of know that logically, but I just feel like (because this has happened twice in a really short space of time) there must have been something I did wrong, or something I could have done differently that would have stopped this from happening.

Oh I'm so sorry NW10 Life is just shitty sometimes. Hope you've got someone to take care of you this weekend. There's nothing you or anyone else could have done to prevent it happening. It's just shit. I'm glad you were at the unit and could get checked over too.

Be kind to yourself

OH is away for work this weekend, but my friend has offered to come over tomorrow. I'm actually supposed to be working (GCSE booster classes!) but I don't know if I'm feeling up to it. In a way, I feel like it will be better just to go in and keep busy. I'm tormenting myself with what-ifs at home!

How are you doing OP?

Thank you - I'm okay. Trying to keep busy! I still feel a bit like it was all my fault and if only I hadn't gone back to work so soon after I was sick. But trying to keep busy and keep my mind off it.

How are things progressing