17 weeks and waters broke

[fibrecruncher]

I'm just so stunned I think I have to write it down in order to cope. This has been a long awaited DC2, we were trying for 18 months. Rocky start to the pregnancy - bleeding and a couple of early scans at the epu, which showed no problems everything fine, baby healthy. Just when I thought we were in the clear my waters broke this afternoon. I'm floored. At the hospital since 5pm waiting to see if I go into spontaneous labour. I'm only 17 weeks no chance for baby to survive, I'm just so crushed.

So so sorry to read your update. I don't know if you are religious or not but I lit a candle for you in the church on my way to work yesterday morning. You are in my thoughts it's such an awful thing to go through.

Fibre, I'm so sorry you have experienced all of this but glad you got some time with Samuel.

SparkyBlue - that was a lovely thing to do. Thank you so much.

ScarletSienna - thank you.

Take as much time as you need and do whatever helps you through.

I'm so sorry you've gone through this. There is a really good charity, amongst others called little fingers who have good words of support and wisdom, sending you healing thoughts x

I am so sorry for your loss. My own little boy died at 26 weeks, and delivering him was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was as if my body wanted to hold on to him and not let go. I'm glad you had good care, and time with your precious boy. Take life day by day, you will see the sunshine again when the clouds clear, I promise. Remember that on your dark days xx

I am so sorry, you and your family are in my prayers. Samuel is a beautiful name. Please be sure to take as much time as you need. A good friend of mine has been through the same thing, and found great support from SANDS. Love to you all

Thanks posters for your kind words and thoughts.

blueistheonlycolourwefeel - thank you I will look them up.

GoldenOrb - thanks. We had been calling the bump Sam for want of a better word as it could be either gender and it just seemed fitting to stick with it.

JaneEyre70 - My condolences to you, it's agonising getting so far into the pregnancy. I know exactly the feeling of your body not being ready - my contractions where barely started.

enchantmentandlove - thank you. I read the first page of a SANDS pamphlet and broke down in hysterical sobs so my DH promptly confiscated it and said I wasn't ready and gave me a hug instead :) I know I'll get there it's just still so raw.

I've been crying less. The physical pain is starting to lessen although I still feel like I have been beaten up.

Now I'm just trying to juggle my need for quiet with not neglecting my toddler. We had him home in the afternoon yesterday but honestly I found it too much. Poor little one was very out of sorts, wet himself a few times and was quite agitated with his play unless the game went exactly how he wanted. He's in nursery for the day today and we're still undecided what to do with him tomorrow.

I'm also still figuring what I can handle. There's a mothers day workshop at nursery tomorrow and I think I'll try to go. I can always leave if it's too much.

Just trying to figure out when I want to start back at work. I'm self employed but I have to be face to face with clients as I'm a dance teacher. The thought of doing a Jive or Cha cha right now seems ridiculous!

Oh, fibre. Have you got anyone who could look after your son for a few hours? I was just thinking, if you were my friend I'd have him like a shot to give you some time to grieve.

BrutusMcDogface - sorry, I sounded more in need than I am. I just meant to say I was unsure and trying to decide what was best. I am lucky to have a pretty amazing support network, my DH has taken the week off work, my parents and DB are near as is a very close friend who watches my son at least once a week. Also the nursery are very accommodating. My DS spent today at nursery and was happy as Larry. I'll be fine thank you. Xx

How are you doing fibre?
Wishing you a peaceful weekend

OpalIridescence - I'm doing OK thanks. I decided to take another week off work so that takes some of the pressure off. I went to a mothers day workshop at my DS's nursery yesterday and I was surprisingly ok, seeing all the kids playing and happy was comforting. It was harder on DH though he had a tough time seeing all the siblings, poor love. We've got a councilling session booked in for April.

I'm glad you are doing ok and the nursery day was a comfort to you.
I have to echo what I said early on that you really do sound full of grace and strength.
Really good you have your councilling booked, I hope that helps you both, you really have been through so much

How are you doing fibrecruncher?

OpalIridescence - thank you.

SparkyBlue - thanks for checking in. I'm doing OK. My DH went back to work on Monday so I was definitely feeling a bit fragile and in need of comfort by the time he got home. Today was easier. I was feeling physically better on Sat but by the evening on Sunday I've annoyingly developed a UTI. I had pain from the start but just chalked it up to the catheter but it got much worse. I managed to get to the docs though and have antibiotics that are helping.