Rock bottom

[leighdinglady]

Help.

I lost my baby at 4 months mid January.

2 weeks ago I've found out my niece, with long standing illness will not live.

My husband is a prick and I've just starting my fucking period.

I'm so, so, so bloody done. I'm just sitting alone crying because I have no one I can talk to. What's the bloody point

It's just not fair is it? Those who deserve a break don't seem to get one. I could say something more positive but, when my baby was stillborn, I just wanted someone to say 'it's rubbish isn't it'. How much rubbish does one person have to put up with?

Don't want to read and dash, I'm sorry and wish I could offer some words of comfort other than I'm sorry for your loss.

It is bloody rubbish. It's so so unfair. I'm so exhausted with it all and trying to be strong for everyone else's benefit. I don't have the luxury of being able to break down as all the family are strugfgling and need me. My so called DH has always been void of empathy. I'm starting to think I'm done with him too. So I'll just break down in private and smack a smile on my face.

Your family need you, but you need your family too. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a wobble. God knows you deserve a bloody massive one! Men (yes, generalising, sorry), will never quite get it, most of the time they're way off. Do you have a friend you can vent to and who knows the things to talk about to ease you out of this? (Or further into it, if that's where you need to be for now and that's ok!) And I know it won't help in the least bit but I am sorry. Nature has a lot to answer for!

I think that before you can be strong for everyone else, you have to be strong for yourself. Which might mean not being strong at times. You need support, whether that's posting here or talking to someone in real life. Ultimately, you will survive because you have to. People said they didn't know how I did it. My answer was always - because I have to. There is no choice. And you will too. But that doesn't make it any easier to do.

My entire life at the minute seems to be 'because you have no choice'.

Thank you for the responses. I wish I had someone I could rely on but it's good to vent on here.

Thank you again for everyone's replies. I'm feeling stronger today and ready to slap that smile on my face!
I will however let my family know how I'm feeling

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry you lost your baby and that your niece is so ill.

Glad today is a little better. Please put yourself first for as long as you need to. Take care.

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you're having a terrible time. Glad you are planning to talk to your family. In what way is your husband being a prick? Sounds like that part of the situation could probably do with addressing.

Good to hear that you're feeling more positive today OP. Dark nights are always a wobbly place! Also pleased to hear you plan to talk to your family, I hope it goes well. Always vent here! Best place for it!

Hope that you managed to talk to your family and that today has been a better day.