miscarriage

[spud01]

Im looking for people's opinoins. I was pregnant and had not told my older dauhgter who is 14 because the pregnancy was under threat so early. I was told 22 jan 07 i was miscarrying at nine weeks and i dont no if i should tell my daughter because im so frightened of her hearing it from someone else that i lost a baby, even though very few people now that i was pregnant. thanx

Hi spud and sorry for your loss
No experience but my instinct says if there is any chance someone else will tell her it's best that you talk to her first.
I think it will also be a lovely gesture that you trust her to be mature enough to deal with it.

When i m/c, my 3 yo picked up on things even though i had only told one or 2 ppl. I think that if there is any chance that she will hear from someone else then you should tell her. She will know something is going on and will make the next few weeks easier for you. Also, on your due date you won;t have to hide from her either.

Sorry for your loss spud x

so sorry for your loss
tell her, she'll feel very upset if she realises you've kept it from her

sorry for your loss.

I think 14 is old enough to cope with this news and the longer you wait the harder it will be to tell her.

We told my step children of all 5 of my m/c's my step daughter cried at each one and said that could have been a little brother or sister but now 16 she says it was right to tell her as she needed to now and she wanted you to now that although your daughter will be upset she needs to hear it from you not others.

Thank you all for your replys they have all help me very much. I was so worried whether i would have done the correct thing or not telling her and youve my mind to rest. I cant thank you all enough.