Missed miscarriage after IVF

[Needingahug1987]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and joined specifically to see if there's anyone out there who's been through something similar.

We underwent our first cycle of IVF in November and were lucky enough to get pregnant first time (we put one embryo back).

I started bleeding very lightly on 30 December and the bleeding increased over the next week- it started as brown discharge and eventually turned pink/red. During this time we had 2 scans which showed a very healthy baby and they couldn't see any reasons why I was bleeding. Unfortunately at 9 weeks 4 days we went for another scan and the baby no longer had a heartbeat- we lost the baby overnight as had a positive scan the previous day.

I had an operation to remove the baby on Thursday and have now started grieving, I feel like shit to have come so close to the dream of having a baby.

Anyone else out there go through something similar? I will take great comfort from your stories, and thank you in advance for sharing as it's got to be horrible to re-lives it all again.

Thanks.

I haven't been through this specifically, but didn't want to read and run.

I'm really sorry that this has happened. Do you have company (if you want it)? It's okay to give yourself the time to grieve. I hope that you start to feel better soon.

My first and fourth pregnancies were missed miscarriages. Not through IVF. The first one was worse as I had all the innocence of a first pregnancy, all the delight, my future was mapped out. I had a phone full of pregnancy apps. I was 14 weeks when I found out so had told everyone. I thought I was past the danger point. I never had that innocence again, I do have a wonderful child from a successful pregancy but I worries for the entire 9 months I was pregnant.

It takes time to get over it, you will go through the stages of grief like you do when someone close to you dies. I found huge support from online forums with other people who were going through the exact same thing at the exact same time. In real life, people were very kind, many sharing their own experiences.

Take some time, take time off work and be kind to yourself. You will get through it and when the time is right, you might try again.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me x

Hi Needing a hug - I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be devastated and like others have said please allow yourself time to grieve because you have been through so much.

I haven't been through your exact situation but I've had 1 chemical pregnancy and 2 miscarriages (although they were earlier than yours). My first miscarriage particularly was difficult as I had to have an operation as they thought it was a molar pregnancy (it wasn't in the end). I kept thinking they had made a mistake and what if the baby was actually alive and I should never have had that operation. I realise now that I was just in shock and the operation was the right thing to do of course. My second miscarriage passed naturally and somehow was 'easier' to deal with (but still horrible). You will go through different emotions as Imscarlet said but try to be kind to yourself. There is a lot of support on these threads.

Just wanted to wish you all the best.