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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Time off work following miscarriage

18 replies

user1472819633 · 28/09/2016 18:47

I was 8 weeks and last Thursday evening I started with some light brown discharge and spent all of Friday in EPU having various tests. I found out 4 days ago from serial hcg measurements that my pregnancy had failed. I have been off work since then and have provisionally said I will go back next Tuesday as I know they are understaffed. I am not sure I will be ready to go back as emotionally all over the place, and having a scan to double check not ectopic on Monday. I was wondering how long others have needed to take off following mmc?

OP posts:

SunnySideDownUp · 28/09/2016 18:59

Sorry for your loss.

I've had 3,and the time with each has varied.

With my first, I had a month off until the bleeding had stopped. I actually went in whilst I was still bleeding but wasn't ready do took a further week.

With my second, it happened on my penultimate week of mat leave. I pushed back my return date by a week, so I had 2 weeks to recover from the initial loss. I had an ERPC so there was no bleeding, but I needed that extra week to recover mentally.

With my third, I was only 5 weeks and it was like a heavy period. I had 6 days off and that was plenty.

For me, I've never felt mentally ready until the bleeding has stopped. I know others who work through them, but I find them very draining.

Superstar90 · 28/09/2016 19:02

Sorry for your loss. I was actually back at work within two days but people cope differently and you should take as long as you need. It's the same with any bereavement - some people need to carry on with normal life and some people need time off to deal with it. I would have been worse sat at home with nothing to distract me.
Go back when you are physically and emotionally ready

lonzo82 · 28/09/2016 19:08

I went back after 2 days but was bleeding throughout, I think at the time my brain just thought keep busy. Months later I was still struggling to cope so in hindsight I wish I hadn't gone back so early. It's really hard either way.

T0ddlerSlave · 28/09/2016 19:27

I had a miscarriage the first day of a week off, and went back to work on the Tuesday the following week. Didn't feel back to my usual self until the week after that (when the bleeding stopped).

Personally I think you'll need the Tuesday at the least. I was physically ok but needed that Monday to recover mentally (only day without DD).

katand2kits · 18/10/2016 00:19

I managed to have both mine in the school holidays, but I expect that I would have needed two weeks both times

OlennasWimple · 18/10/2016 00:28

I went back after two days, but TBH it was far too soon (mentally more than physically)

RoseAnnear · 18/10/2016 00:58

I'm 4 weeks in (first 2 I was recovering from surgery) There isn't a norm I don't think.

Primaryteach87 · 18/10/2016 01:17

I had a week off and then went back, cried and was sent home by my totally lovely boss. Ended up having three weeks in total.

Cityzen74 · 18/10/2016 08:33

I had 4 weeks off in the end. I was really worried about it at the time but looking back I felt that was the right thing for me. I was worried that I would never want to go back to work but in fact when the time came I was ready and it was OK. I still felt really sad obviously but I found it helpful to have something else to think about I suppose.

It's really important to take care of yourself as best you can because it is a really hard time. If you feel going back on Tuesday is too early then perhaps you can go to your GP to ask if they will sign you off for a bit longer.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Aliveinwanderland · 18/10/2016 08:36

Both of mine have been early 5/6 weeks. The first one I didn't have any time off at all.
The second I took 3 days (Wed-Fri) and then went back in on the Monday.

eckythumpenallthat · 18/10/2016 10:51

When I had mine the hospital gave me a sick note for 2 weeks. I went back because Physically I was ready to. Emotionally I really really wasn't

KittyandTeal · 18/10/2016 18:20

I've lost babies at 22 weeks and 14 weeks. I had 6 weeks and then a phased return after dd2 (22 weeks) I had 4 weeks off and a quicker phased return after ds. In hindsight it was far too soon but I was suffering ptsd and wasn't processing anything so figured I may as well be working.

It's so personal but my advice is don't be rushed back sooner than you're happy with, and make sure there's provision for you to leave and go somewhere if you get emotional. I know I can leave and sit in my heads office whenever I need a cry and I also still don't go to singing assembly (almost 6 months after loosing ds and 18 after dd2) as kids singing always sets me off.

Thingymaboob · 21/10/2016 00:34

I started miscarrying on Saturday (15/10) and I'm planning on going back on Monday. Will probably be back too soon but I've got important things to do!

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 17/12/2016 07:28

It took me 18 months to conceive with the help of medication in the end (I was beginning to lose hope)...but then I got pregnant and found out on my birthday, it was so special.

I'm a nurse on a busy ward so I told my colleagues after I'd seen a heartbeat at the 7 week scan (naively thinking everything would be ok since I'd seen a heartbeat) as I obviously needed to avoid certain things on the ward. Everyone was so happy for me as they knew how long I'd wanted a baby for.

On Wednesday as I was showering before work; a big blob of brown mucous fell out of me so I called in sick and took myself to the urgent care centre who referred me to epu. I had to wait until the next day for a scan; and I was then told I'd had a mmc. I should have been 11 weeks but I was only measuring a mm more in size than the 7 week scan. No bleeding or any other obvious signs so this has come as a huge shock and I'm struggling to process the information at the moment.

I've rang in work for a week so far but my next day back in would be next Friday which would have been my 12 week scan date then the next day after that will be Xmas day. I'm dreading going back into work to see everyone. I think I'm going to stay off Xmas and new year as it'll be rubbish enough for me without having to work (so taking 3 weeks in total) :(

BeamReach · 17/12/2016 09:52

I think there are so many variables... Physical, emotional, length of gestation, type of work, other life circumstances .... That there will be no consensus on what is "normal"

I found out last Tuesday..... Hope to have acrobat scan next week then surgical option. Emotionally I am a wreck . Have told work will try to be back the Friday after Xmas (about 2.5 weeks after news)..... No idea if I will be in any fit state. Work in job where I need to be very on ball and have game face on (other factor is currently job hunting).... Think after new year is probably more realistic ....

BeamReach · 17/12/2016 09:53

Acrobat = repeat scan

emsler · 21/12/2016 11:05

I had a MMC at 11.5 weeks but we knew something was wrong from around 6 weeks so we were really just waiting for the baby's heart to stop and praying for a miracle. I didn't have any time off until after the surgery when I took a week. It was easier for me to be at work as it was a good distraction but this obviously wouldn't be the case for everyone.

peanut2017 · 21/12/2016 11:23

I am so sorry for your loss. Just know there is no right or wrong time to go back. All I can speak from is my own experiences and after my first loss I took 3 weeks and the same on my second. I'm a manager so it wasn't ideal but I wasn't ready to come back any sooner. I did a bit of work from home each day as a bit of a distraction. I had counselling at the time and she really got me thinking when she said that would you look back in years to come and say "I wish I went straight back to work after this horrible experience" and for me it was "no".

You need to mind yourself and do what you need to do - cry, curl up on the sofa, write a journal or whatever to help you process everything.

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