I just don't know what to do with myself

[herewego1987]

I'm recovering from my ectopic surgery Monday, they even had to remove my tube.

I'm home now resting in pain and on some weird spaced out come down. Last week was just a constant trip to and from the hospital for tests, rushed in Sunday etc and now I feel so alone and empty.

I can't get lost in a film, I don't feel like eating, I'm contemplating having a g+t, probably to blank out the pain.

I just feel lost.

Do you feel like having someone with you? Is there anyone around who you'd want to sit with you?

for everything you're going through. You won't always feel like this but remember you're allowed to feel like you do for as long as you want.

Everyone seems to be at work at the moment. Dp is working til 7:30 and we are going to attempt to go for a small mooch around tesco but even the 4hours between that feel like torture xx

Anyone on the phone you can call? Or have a nice long bath? Any online shopping you want to do? Just trying to think of things that might distract you, even if just for a moment. It's a shame your DH can't finish early but obviously I have no idea what his job is!

Do you want to talk on here about the last week and the surgery or would you rather forget it all for now?

*sorry, DP not DH

- I'm so very sorry. It must be a horrible horrible shock and now the adrenalin has left your body.

I think it's quite normal to feel just blank like that. I haven't been through that but I felt like that after a 2nd trimester miscarriage - just bleak and empty. I think I just sat on the sofa for a couple of days until I could start to process it all.

Can you go and stay with someone who you can do gentle perambulations with? I think sometimes it's better to be out of your own home

My dp runs a bodyshop repair centre and has a car he has to complete by tomorrow.

I think its from the happiness of seeing two lines to praying my tube doesn't rupture. I just feel numb.

Hospital has left me depressed too. There was an elderly woman constantly crying praying to just let her die, horrible especially as im lay there praying to not die and my whole life flashed before me.It was stressful too as the operation was 8hrs late and the pain was becoming more intense.

Just had a text off mum, she's popping in at 6 with a steak. Bless her xx

Babies and pregnancy seem to be every where too....Facebook, Instagram, TV......

I might arrange tea with friends tomorrow night and bring mine and DPs anniversary celebrations forward to this weekend xx

Yay for Mums!

I think it's a great idea to plan things to look forward to.

It sounds like you had a really traumatising experience so it's no wonder you're feeling so lost. How is your DP handling things? Do you have lots of support?

Dp is being great tbh, very attentive etc.

I think it's been a big shock for him too but he doesn't show emotions that much.