Management of missed miscarriage

[Clairebrooklands]

Hubby and I found out we were having a baby 8 weeks ago, both so very excited. Went for a dating scan 3 weeks ago to be told that baby was measuring small for dates, and couldnt find the heartbeat. 2nd tv ultrasound booked for 1 week later, feotal pole measuring smaller and still no heartbeat. Told that i was suffering a missed miscarriage. Further ultrasound booked for this morning, gestational sac is still in place but is now empty. I have been given the option of management, medical (tablets) or surgical (d&c). I was wondering if anyone who has been through the same thing could give me some advice on the options, so confused at the moment. Thanks in advance.

Hi Claire,

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. It utterly sucks.

I've had 2 miscarriages now. With my first I opted to wait and see if things happened naturally. Nothing happened and after a week and a half I asked for medical management as I was finding the waiting really tough. With the second I opted to go straight for medical management. I was advised against surgical management because I have a bicornate uterus but I don't think I would have chosen it anyway. Where I live you have the medical management (vaginal tablets) and can the go home if you wish, which I chose to do both times. I found being in my own home comforting. I just curled up under a blanket, watched TV and had my husband for support. The second time some close friends popped round in the evening to play games which was a good distraction. I was given plenty of painkillers to take home, advice on what to do and a number to ring if I had concerns. It was by no means a pleasant experience but for me being at home made it as bearable as it could be.

I hope this helps. It is a lot to take in when you've just been given devastating news.

Hi Claire. Sorry for your loss. I had a mmc a couple of weeks ago. My baby had died at just over 8 weeks. As it had been a while ads nothig had stated to happen naturally I went for the surgical option. My hospital offered an MVA procedure. They used local anaesthetic and slowl "sucked" the baby out. I'm glad I chose this option as I was scared to taking the tablets and going home as I have a 2 year old to look after. I was in and out in a few hours and although uncomfortable it was managable. Not much pain after and I have bled for the 2.5 weeks since but only light and it's now pretty much stopped.

The hospital also hold a small service and scatter all babies miscarried in a rememberence garden local to us. I'm not religious but this gave me great comfort and helped to make my decision.

All the best for whichever option you choose. It really is an awful time.

Thanks girls for replying, i have tied myself up in knots today trying to make a decision, and have decided to opt for the surgical route, i have never been put under general anasthetic so that has made me nervous, but it seems to be a quicker option. With the medical route there is no guarantee that it will work, then a second try may be needed, if that still doesnt get the results then i would need a d&c anyway, so it is easier to just go surgical. I have already known for 3 weeks that the pregnancy has failed and the thought of going any longer is really getting me down. At least this way, i will recover a little quicker and we can get back to trying for our final child. I have had a miscarriage before (18 years ago) but it happened naturally before 8 weeks, so never needed intervention, I suppose that I am just nervous as I don't know what to expect. I have had 3 healthy children, so miscarriage doesn't always happen. I am so grateful to you for your replies, and I am sorry that you had to experience this too. I wish you good health for the future, and hope that you sail through any further pregnancies that you have. I will post back on here after recovering and let you know how it goes. It looks like Friday is the day 😷

Just to reassure you I had surgical management and was terrified (I'd never had any kind of op or a GA before). It was absolutely fine. Easy quick and very little pain after. The worst bit was the wait before. I got bumped twice so I didn't go down until 2 and I hadn't had anything to drink since the night before. So take plenty of books to keep you distracted.

Hi Claire, I'm so sorry for your loss and sorry that you've had to go through this too.

I had the surgical option for a MMC with my baby measuring 10wks three weeks ago now. I too was terrified of the GA after a previous bad experience. I explained all of this at the time and was so well looked after. It really was far better than I expected. I've had quite a lot of bleeding afterwards but this didnt start until 4 days after the procedure which confused me, fingers crossed this is coming to an end now.

I didn't have any idea what to expect so posted on here and had loads of advice/experiences from everyone. It's been a huge help to me. I agree with Ginger about the wait being the worst part for me too, so yes to books and any distraction you can think of.

This is my original thread if it helps, specially for the GA worries:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2710324-D-C-tommorw-for-a-MMC-at-10-3-advice-or-experiences

Sending you lots of strength for Friday and also for a speedy recovery

Good luck for Friday. I had a surgical management for a MMC recently. Just to reassure you, it is a swift procedure, general anaesthetics have come on a long way and it really was just like dozing off.

Tips I wish I'd had:

Ask to take your oh in to hold your hand while they put you under if you are nervous (and that would help). I had to ask for this, they just assumed I'd be ok on my own and I wasn't.

A few hours prior to being put under I was given a pessary to soften my cervix - I wasn't prepared that they would ask me to put it in myself and for some reason found that quite upsetting but ultimately it was just like putting in a tampon. Not sure if things are different in other hospitals.... I had period like cramps an hour or so after and started to bleed so take do some pads with you just in case as you'll be waiting a few hours afterwards.

The hospital I went to asked me to change quite a long time before my slot on the waiting list. They gave me disposable knickers to wear under my pjs, which my pad didn't stick to, cue some embarrassed shuffling about. I wished I brought proper joggers to wear to give me some security and hold things in place.

The procedure itself felt like no time at all, I felt a bit groggy after. You'll be offered a drink and a biscuit and asked to have a wee before they will discharge you. I was a bit uncomfortable pain wise but (for me) nothing worse than period pains and totally manageable with standard painkillers - keep on top of these for the first few days and take care of yourself. You may find the emotion catches up with you the other side of the procedure. I think others people report feeling relief, it's v individual.

I experienced minimal bleeding post op, I think that varies. My period returned 6 weeks later but was very very light for the first two cycles - the third I got pregnant again . So it can happen quickly.

Oh, and a few days post op I got quite uncomfortable trapped wind, which I gather is quite normal after this type of surgery. Took me a bit by surprise as I was back at work and wincing away in a meeting!

Best of luck. xx

Hi Claire I'm sorry for your loss. This is happening for us at the moment also. We went for dating scan at 9 weeks to be told baby was measuring too small.. 6 weeks 4 days... Waited a week and then confirmed a missed miscarriage.. Being too upset to make decision at that second scan epu booked me in to come back on Monday (yesterday) for medical management saying we could change our mind.. Ultimately I decided I'd rather avoid surgery if possible... so I took the tablets orally yesterday morning and was told normally it begins within 2-4 hours... but we are now almost 36hours later and apart from some vomiting today and some stomach cramps this evening nothing seems to be happening.. Don't know whether the cramps today and tablets yesterday are even connected.. I have to go back on Thursday to either take second dose or discuss other options. The waiting is difficult and scary as this is our first pregnancy/ miscarriage and have no idea what to expect .. I hope surgery goes well for u..