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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

2 Miscarriages, 1 ectopic

23 replies

Harrison01 · 15/05/2016 15:03

Hello ladies, just looking for some reassurances really. Had an ectopic in Aug 14 followed by 2 miscarriages (and a chem pregnancy in 2015). I'm trying to be positive, but finding it really hard. Especially so as I'm 37 and all my colleagues seem be on their second babies! Though I'm really happy for them, I keep on asking why not me? I'm about to have a lap and dye and worried that I'm going to find out I can't have children again. I think I have adhesions; and I'm hoping that is all. Anyone got some stories about positive outcomes after such scenarios? I'm so worried that I'm running out of time :(

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FizzyFeet · 15/05/2016 20:38

Hello - sorry you've had such a tough time. Sounds like you have really been through the mill.

For what it's worth, I had a mmc followed by two ectopics, lost both tubes but recently had a DD via IVF. I had endometriosis, low egg reserve aged only 32 and lots of uterus lining issues, but it worked in the end - five years after we started trying.

It is very hard when you feel isolated and left behind, when it feels like everyone is pregnant apart from you. But there are many of us struggling with similar things - and lots of support on here. There's a good thread over in Infertility, and if you have a deeply black sense of humour and a penchant for swearing there are the BESH on the Conception boards.

Good luck with the lap and dye - hope it answers some questions for you and that you are up the duff very soon.

somethingfromnothing · 15/05/2016 21:09

I am following this with interest (and hope). I had an ectopic last year and a possible ectopic/possible mc in Jan this year and struggling to find positive stories. I know that we are very lucky as we have a dd who was conceived very easily but I'm also struggling to stay positive.

I have a referral through to Gyn so hoping for some answers. I hope you get some from the lap and dye

Original poster

Harrison01 · 15/05/2016 21:28

Hello both. I need to add that I had a ds in 2011 via a c-sec. I'm just hoping that my issues are due to adhesions from both these that are easily solved. Heard that people do have better luck once they've had a lap and dye (it sorta clears out the cobwebs!). It's had to answer with a straight face when people ask you when you're having your second...I'm seeing a really good gynae now. I'm having the op on 9th June- I will find out then what the deuce is going on. They told me that would wake me up if I needed to have extensive surgery- I hope this isn't the case- I'm finding the wait unbearable!

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somethingfromnothing · 15/05/2016 22:44

I'm going to the gynae on the 9th of June too! But just for my initial appointment. It feels ages away! I know my heart sinks when people ask why we haven't had another yet. It's just hard when I've been pregnant twice in the past year yet there's still no baby. I've heard good things of people conceiving after a lap and dye so fingers crossed it will be the kick start that your body needs for a healthy pregnancy

Dixxie · 15/05/2016 22:58

I conceived straight after a lap and dye; sadly it was ectopic/unknown location/not viable (no tubes lost) but it definitely stimulated conception. A friend conceived her healthy baby straight after the procedures too. Good luck! Xx

Original poster

Harrison01 · 16/05/2016 15:53

Thank you both so much for your support ladies. Somethingfromnothing; I'll try and post soon after the lap and dye. It just feels so unfair, and I just want to know already!I just wanted to say there is something called choose and book in the NHS. If your GP and CCG are willing to, you can be referred to a preferred Gynae, even in a private setting. I did this and got seen to really quickly. In fact, I would've had my lap and dye sooner (this week), but I cxlled as I booked a flight for a wedding on that day. My Gynae is a fertility expert, so his focus is on saving your fertility and I know two people who got pregnant as a result of his work...So it's worth looking at choose and book....Good luck ladies xxxx

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Dixxie · 16/05/2016 16:16

Thank you Harrison. Who are you seeing? Can you explain more about the NHS referral process? I don't know where to start. Thank you so much xxx

Original poster

Harrison01 · 16/05/2016 16:51

Hi Dixxie. I'm seeing Mr Booker at Shirley Oaks Hospital in Croydon. Lovely man. He works in the NHS too. I chose to see him at Shirley Oaks and got my doctor to send a referral to them directly. Google choose and book. If you have a consultant in mind, at a venue you want, call them and ask if they accept patients via choose and book.Then get your GP to refer you. It took me about a year to find that I could get this done x

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Dixxie · 16/05/2016 18:05

...(sorry so many questions)... Is your lap and dye expensive? I had one in March and fell pregnant, lost it and now worried I might need another flush but would have to go private

Dixxie · 16/05/2016 18:05

Thanks so much Harrison x

Original poster

Harrison01 · 16/05/2016 18:30

Not at all Dixxie. I think they cost in the region of £2000 to £4000. Mine is NHS x

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Dixxie · 16/05/2016 18:56

Ok think that rules a private op out then...! They thought my pregnancy was ectopic/unknown origin as I was definitely pregnant but they couldn't see it and then I had the agonising pain symptoms. If it was then I worry my tubes may be blocked with matter. Will ask Quenby when I see her... On the bright side I do think tube flushing makes you super fertile, for those about to have one!

Original poster

Harrison01 · 16/05/2016 20:12

You know what, even if I had to get in debt, I'd pay for it if I couldn't get it on NHS. Everytime I feel like giving up, I remind myself that I would regret not trying. I'm really not getting younger, plus I have other health issues that are age-dependent for treatment. I just want to get on with it and rule stuff out- the hardest thing is when they tell you that tests are negative...Because it means you still don't know what needs fixing or if it can be fixed. It is a case of ruling stuff out. After this, I think (but I don't know if he will) it's standard to prescribe Clomid; to give you a mega boost. I wish that I could make it better for all of you. When I had my second miscarriage; it broke my heart thinking about that bean and its heartbeat. I still have the scan and I planted a magnolia tree in its memory xx

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Dixxie · 16/05/2016 21:06

Harrison, don't give up... Do everything you can. Yes you're right about finding the funds.

Have you read 'It starts with the egg', 'Is your body baby friendly' and 'Miscarriage- everything you need to know'? I'm starting to plough through them now. Lots we can do to improve our chances of success.

Wishing you lots of luck and sending positive vibes xxx

Sop76 · 17/05/2016 14:00

Hi Harrison and Dixie, your stories sound very familiar. I have a 6yr old boy and have been trying for a second for over 3 yrs. I have had two rounds of IVF and 3 pregnancies in a yr - 2 miscarriages and one ectopic in Nov (left tube removed). I'm just about to have EPRC (tomorrow) to remove this pregnancy. I had a dye test privately as part of IVF and it was about £600 at Kings. One of the hardest things for me is thinking that might son might not have a sibling - so hard when people ask. I may well read those books - I'm going to have the summer off treatment and try naturally for a while. Let's try and keep positive - we'll get there xx

Original poster

Harrison01 · 17/05/2016 17:22

Oh gosh Sop76. What you've been through sounds emotionally and physically grueling. I will have a look at those books too thanks Dixxie. I keep on asking "why me?". Two of my sister's have had three children each and I have four siblings. My little boy said he wished he had a baby to play with, it broke my heart xc

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Sop76 · 17/05/2016 17:34

Harrison it's so heartbreaking when they say things like that. My son went through a phase of asking all the time. He has stopped asking now which is almost as bad - just occasionally says he'd like a baby. Everyone I know has at least 2 and it seems so easy for them. weird thing is I got pregnant the first month we tried with him! Just ordered 'It starts with an egg' I'll let you know how I get on xx

Sop76 · 17/05/2016 17:35

I was also going to say Harrison, I too had a c-section and have always wondered about adhesions although they've never found anything to explain my infertility and I've had a lot of tests now!

Original poster

Harrison01 · 17/05/2016 17:53

Oh that is sad Sop. I got pg with my boy accidentally, but V happily. He keeps on asking why mummy is going to hospital all the time. I really, really hope that the lap and dye is a turning point (desperately hope). But you know, I've gone from not really being bothered about kids to desperately wanting more (I want two more; but I may not get any more). Gynae is also giving me a hysteo-xray thingy. Ladies, please let's give each other hope! I wish all of you feel that kick inside soonxxx

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Sop76 · 17/05/2016 19:36

It could well be, my friend who had been trying for 2 yrs got pg a month after the dye test. I have everything crossed for you and all of us in this situation xx

Original poster

Harrison01 · 11/06/2016 10:39

Hello all. Just to let you know, I had the surgery two days ago. Doc found some endometrial tissue stuck between my uterus and bladder....which explains all the pain. He described it as 'mild'. He burnt it off and the associated adhesions....You would not believe the difference it had made already to my aches and pains! I have catch up with him in two weeks whereby I think he's about to put me on Clomid. I will keep you updated

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BabyPending · 29/08/2019 16:36

Hi all,

Opening this old thread again, I know. But I've just had an ectopic following 2 MCs and looking for some success stories to keep me going :( xx

HeartbrokenM · 26/10/2025 12:53

Hi @BabyPending just wondering how it went? I'm in the same situation 😭

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