Emptiness

[Kalusky]

A friend had her baby today - and I just feel so fucking raw.

She had multiple MCs at the same time as me and so I know I should be even happier for her than I would be for a regular friend - but instead I feel extra strange and empty too. Like I'd like to cry but am feeling this weird suspense instead.

Has anyone else felt this way and did it stop eventually?

I've felt it and yes it does stop feeling so raw eventually, I think the hardest thing is feeling guilty for feeling that way. ((Hugs))

Yep, I feel like this about my (now overdue) sil. I'm dreading the baby being born, I feel empty not having my own baby and I'm all on edge. I feel like I'm just waiting.

It's a horrid feeling. Every pregnancy announcement since loosing dd2 has felt like a punch in the gut. I wish I could be indifferent or overjoyed but I cant

I have felt like that for the last 2.5 years as I've lost three babies in this time and I've Counted at least 28 babies amongst those I call my close friends, and the waiting and sadness is just awful. I partly feel happy for them, but I so wish that it was my turn as I have been waiting long enough and have had a really hard time (last loss was at 19+6 at Christmas and I had sepsis and was very poorly). It just seems like all my friends have had it such easier than me. I had two friends who has struggled who have now either had their baby or are due soon,, so I am the last one standing and feel lonely, so I am guessing that is how you are feeling too. Hope you get to have your baby soon xx

I'm really sorry Kalusky - it's such a difficult situation. I can totally understand how you are feeling. When I had my first MMC in Oct 2014, my boyfriends little girl was under 2. I was so jealous and lonely and so wanted my own baby. He lived in Norway then so would send me pics n videos and so often I'd just cry it out or go quiet- I just couldn't cope. Thankfully I could tell all my thoughts to my Mum who was totally there for me. This actually lasted about 10 months. With hindsight, I hadn't realised at the time what I was going through and would have gone for counselling. I am now having my second MMC and am aware of the emotional impact over time and will get help if I feel the same way.

I had first MC at 14.5 weeks. My colleague was pregnant at same time as I did. After MC, I found it was hard to meet her. I still felt sad when we met at corridor or had meeting together. It made me think about my angel. I got pregnant again five months later, and it was vey close to her due date( also mine....). I met her once before her due date, it is still difficult for us to have a private talk, just a smile, I think since then, I felt released.