Can you get postnatal depression after a miscarriage?

[SeriousStuff]

That's it really. I lost my baby on Christmas eve and while the grief is getting better, my general mood is getting worse - have no energy, have hysterical moments of laughing and crying, a general feeling of indifference...

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know if your distress would be called 'post natal depression', although it certainly sounds like a grief reaction to your miscarriage.

Be easy on yourself - it was only a few weeks ago, at a really difficult time of year. Many women take a long time to emotionally recover from a miscarriage, and grief comes out in various ways like depression as well as the more obviously grievous crying etc.

Do you think going to your GP would help?

So sorry for your loss. I had 3 miscarriages in 9 months several years back and whilst I wouldn't say I have post natal depression, I did have actual depression and needed counselling to help me function. I was so miserable and struggled to muster up the enthusiasm to get out of bed and go to work. There were happy pregnant people and babies everywhere. That said, the only thing that truly made me feel better was a successful pregnancy and then it just switched off almost as if it had never happened which was very odd.

It is early days for you and I know all too well that what you want most of all is to be successfully pregnant and not feel so sad all the time. A year feels very short when you realise there are only 12 (ish) opportunities to conceive in it. So my advice would be to be kind to yourself, don't feel bad for being said, it is a loss which you need to grieve for like any other. Miscarriage is so so common, much more so than you realise until it happens to you and for most people they go on to have a successful pregnancy next time. They never found a cause for my 3 recurrent mc's, I look at it as my body practicing and whilst I am sad for the children I never met, I wouldn't have had the amazing children I had if I hadn't been through it. Take support where you can, talk to friends and family if you feel up to it and maybe look up some of the Miscarriage Association material. The support groups didn't work for me but they did for others.

Look after yourself.

Thank you both. Maybe I should see my GP, just in case.

I just feel so alone. Even though I talk to DH about it, if a day goes by and I haven't I think he just thinks that everything's ok. I really don't think he gets that it's somewhere on my mind all the time.

I have a great network of friends but I'm just worried that, by now, they would all be thinking why hasn't she moved on already?

pigeon I'm so sorry for you losses x

Grief doesn't take a linear path though. You're not 'over it' once you've had a slightly better day.

I think it's very hard for lots of people, probably men in particular, to understand the complexity and enormity of pregnancy loss. A miscarriage isn't 'behind' you as you had expected to still be pregnant now, and are mourning that too.

It can't harm to see your GP (do you have a regular one?) They should be able to refer you to counselling if you think that would help. It's useful to know there's a space that you can talk things through.

Hi, on Feb 14th this year I found out I was pregnant, not planned but after a Mexican themed party and lots of tequila it happened. I was 38 (now 39) I have 3 children and with each pregnancy there were more complications and health issues for myself, so when I found out I spoke with my husband and booked an appointment to discuss my options, after a distressful 3rd pregnancy and horrific birth (he was in neonatal for 10 days) with the support of my husband I decided that I couldn’t proceed with the pregnancy, as the date to go to the clinic loomed I knew I couldn’t do it, I already had so much love for this baby I didn’t go through with it and I started planning our future as a family of 6 not 5. At 10 weeks I started bleeding heavily and went to hospital, I had to wait a few days for a scan but when they scanned me, to my amazement they found a healthy heart beat, I was convinced I had lost the baby, upon looking for the reason for the bleed they found a second baby with no heartbeat, I had been pregnant with twins but sadly lost one, I felt this was a warning from Mother Nature for the choice I almost made. All was well at my 12 week scan but at 16 weeks my waters broke and just before 17 weeks I delivered my baby boy. I have the most amazing husband, friends and family but I can’t talk about how I feel, I make sure they are all ok and I listen to how they are feeling and I comfort them but I don’t allow myself to talk or be comforted. we have had a service and planted rose bushes for both of them. I cry every day when I’m on my own, the bereavement midwife has called but I put her through to voice mail, I know I need to open up and talk but I can’t. I often read posts on here so thought I’d just put it down in writing. I’m not after sympathy I just worry about what will happen if I don’t put it out there somewhere and I wonder if anyone else who has suffered a miscarriage has felt the same. We named our boy Vincent after the Don Mclean song and I’ve always felt that the other baby was a girl so I call her Belle xx

I'm so sorry to read about your loss OP. I'm no expert and given I'm currently going through my own emotional issues which I will try to tackle once I'm through the physical stage of my mc I'm probably not the best person to give advice on this but didn't want to read and run - please visit your GP who hopefully can diagnose and refer you to the right support services like counselling. I have no idea if it's like post natal depression or like something like PTSD but it may help you to talk to a professional about what you're going through. Really hope you feel better soon.

@Loobyloo79 and @pigeonpost I'm really sorry to hear about your losses too. Life is so unfair.

Thank you, I’ve booked an appointment with my GP I think I need some help ☹️ So sorry you are going through a mc, life can be so cruel xx