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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Need to scream why

60 replies

EllieJayJay · 04/12/2015 22:41

I want to kick and scream and yell why..

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 04/12/2015 22:44

We are going to say goodbye to our baby

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ASAS · 04/12/2015 22:47
Flowers
RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 22:50

Xxxx Flowers

RoTo72 · 04/12/2015 22:53

Ach sweetie. Wish there was something we could do to stop the hurt x

obsessedlex · 04/12/2015 23:53

My mum sent me this link
psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
It's natural to feel like you want to scream xxx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 00:00

I hate this pain

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 00:03

I just want my baby back and I have been told 101 times my baby wasn't viable by friends who have never experienced the pain of miscarriage

Not viable sends me into mad crazy lady moment

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 00:03

Awk Ellie xxx. It is horrendous. And atm I cant see I ever going. But surely I has to? Surely we can't go on like this forever xxxx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:18

I want to be strong for others, I am wanting to help people

It's in my DNA to help people I believe it when I tell others it's not your fault, and I just am so lost - I don't know how to help myself

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:22

I spoke to a wonderful lady today who was so understanding I broke down in tears she spoke about how my baby would be put in a little white coffin and my little blanket could make him feel cosey

She said how we could write poems or letters to him and we could put them in his little white coffin and then we could sit in a room and say goodbye

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 01:30

That sounds lovely Ellie. Ud obviously rather not be in this situation, but it really sounds as peaceful as it possibly could be. Ur grieving the loss of ur baby. But yourself some slack and be selfish. U cant mind ua r look after us. Were a group here for each other. I really wish u peace love. If u need to chat msg me. Were all here for you xxx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:37

Oh Ro X were going to get through this x

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:38

I am here for you too x

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:39

I think like me your trying to make sense of it all X

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 01:45

Of course we r. But to be honest I don't think it will ever make sense. Xxx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:48

I don't think it will either

My baby is going to be put in a little white coffin

And that's supposed to give me closure

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:49

So I can knit a blanket for him

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 01:49

But why?

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RoTo72 · 05/12/2015 01:59

Iv no answer except that life can be cruel. It can be beautiful too, but sometimes ita cruel. Tbh today iv been mostly numb. Tomorrow I could be where you are now, I have been. I cant make.sense of any of it. I'm taking it blow by blow. And moat times that is what it is, a blow. I really wish I could put my arms round you and tell u everything will be ok. But we both know it wont. It will be hell, it will be bearable, it will be hell again. But we will get there, eventually. One day it wont be this bad. One day we wont ache so much. It will never go away, I foe one don't want it to, cos I will never forget. But one day we will be able to breathe again. Xxxx

Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 02:03

I feel your arms around me I hope you feel them back xx

I spent an hour talking to the smaritians X

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 02:05

I asked for support via AIBU

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 02:05

I think we're forgotten we need hope x

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Original poster
EllieJayJay · 05/12/2015 02:06

I can't even get drunk

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HoundoftheBaskervilles · 05/12/2015 02:12

Because Darling, sometimes it is what it is, I've had four MC, you do what you need to do.

I can tell you though that you'll get through. You will because you have to, these early days are so painful and raw. Do you have other DCs?

Take care of yourself.

You will be ok you know.

RoundAndAroundWeGo · 05/12/2015 02:14

Saw your post in AIBU

I'm so sorry for your loss, just take it day by day, step by step. Easier said than done but the only way is forward. It's ok to be upset, angry, disappointed. Their all natural feelings of the grieving process

I lost my first baby at 6 months pregnant, he lived for 2 hours then died in my arms. I fell pregnant 10 weeks after him but lost the baby at 8 weeks, fell pregnant 6 week after that but lost that baby too.

The pain never properly goes away, you just learn to deal with it, it becomes a part of you.

Some days I think I'm at peace with my losses, other days it hits me like they've happened that day

I'm so sorry for your loss, when my son died I bought a tree and scattered his ashes in it, when I lost the other two I planted two flowers in there with the tree. My pain never goes away but every day I see my tree and flowers and know my babies are close by xxx

Anyone who says it wasn't viable can bugger off. Unless they've been through it themselves they have no right to comment because they don't know the heartbreak of it xxx