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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

How soon is too soon after mmc?

13 replies

alisonfindlay73 · 20/07/2015 11:09

Does anyone else after having a mc feel they have an empty feeling inside? A longing to be pregnant again. I suffered a mmc a week today and i just feel empty inside. I have read a few threads on here that soon after a mc they have fell pregnant again quite easily, i know i need to stop reading but it gives me hope. Am i the only one thinking like this or is it normal.

OP posts:

KittyandTeal · 20/07/2015 16:49

Totally normal. The first few months after my tfmr I was desperate to be pregnant, I felt empty, physically and emotionally.

They do say you are a bit more fertile after a mc.

We decided not to ttc until after our due date, I now I needed time to grieve properly and being pregnant with a baby whilst it should have been dd2 didn't feel right. We lost her fairly far on at 22+2 though.

We've just started ttc again and whilst I really want another baby that burning desire to be pregnant has pretty much gone (6 months on)

Nousername2015 · 20/07/2015 19:33

Toally agree. We started trying again after I'd had a period and were extremely lucky to catch again that cycle. I just desperately wanted to be pregnant again and out of the first trimester when my due date came around (not asking for much I know). That said, because my memories are so fresh this pregnancy has been nothing but fear and anxiety, I'd even go so far to say I'm not enjoying it. I don't know if those feelings would still be the same if we'd had waited a while.

KittyandTeal · 20/07/2015 19:50

Tbh I think pregnancy after loss is alway anxious and stressful. We've not conceived yet and I'm already stressed knowing what can go wrong, knowing all the medical appointments I will have to have.

My counsellor said to me part of the grieving process after loosing a baby is grieving never having a 'normal' or 'enjoyable' pregnancy. We have lost our innocence over it.

I know for sure I will never truly believe I will have another live baby until someone hands me one.

It makes me really sad if I think about it too much.

As far as when to ttc, everyone's choice is different, you must decide what will w opk for you and your dh

LadybirdSpots · 20/07/2015 20:58

I feel exactly the same. I mc last Thursday and had the surgery too on the Friday.

I am absolutely desperate to be pregnant again. But I'm also absolutely dreading it, as I know I will be a nervous wreck when I am. My baby had died at 7 weeks, and I had no idea until I was nearly 12 weeks. I really have no idea how I'll cope with another first trimester, but all I want is to be pregnant again. DP wants to wait until I've had 3 periods, but I just don't think I can wait that long!

enviousllama · 20/07/2015 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan · 20/07/2015 21:38

Totally normal. Mmc is just horrible. My first pg ended like that. Apologies if it is too soon to share this but I now have two healthy children and I never had another mmc. It's still horrid though.
Be gentle on yourself. Xx

Original poster

alisonfindlay73 · 21/07/2015 08:16

Thankyou for all the messages. I had my booking in scan at 12 weeks to be told there was no heartbeat. 2 nights before I had felt fluttering. It came as a complete shock to me and partner. I feel like time is not on my side as I am 42. I am so desperate to have that feeling again, I loved being pregnant. We have so much love to give a child. I feel lost as well as empty. It gives me some hope when I read your messages.

OP posts:

Tftpoo · 21/07/2015 16:23

for you OP. I felt very similar to you after a mmc at the beginning of June. It was similar in that it was found at the 12 week scan that the baby had died around 9 weeks. I was told to wait one cycle before ttc but I didn't want to wait, I just wanted to be pregnant again. For me, it felt like that was the only thing that would make me feel alright again. I am currently 6 weeks pregnant having fallen in that first cycle after mc but it is a very, very anxious time for me and my partner. I had some spotting yesterday which I know is often quite normal and nothing to worry about but of course, I am so nervous. I don't know about where you live but the EPU at my hospital are very good after mc and have booked me for a scan on Thursday. They seem to understand how anxious I am and are being really helpful. I echo what people say though about losing that sense of innocence about pregnancy, I know now how wrong it can go (and actually how commonly things do go wrong) and I don't know if I will ever be able to enjoy being pregnant. I still desperately want a baby though so I accept that I will have to go through pregnancy to get that.

Original poster

alisonfindlay73 · 21/07/2015 18:33

oh that is wonderful news Tftpoo. It is so comforting to hear your story, at least i now know that i am not completely insane for feeling the way i do! i have discussed with my partner about trying again but at the moment he feels scared that it could happen again, which is completely understandable but i feel different. I feel like i want to try straight away, i miss the feeling of being pregnant. I miss everything about it. I feel like i have been robbed of my chance to be a mummy. I know that a pregnancy can't make up for the baby we lost but i just feel like we have all this love to give a child, it's totally wasted. I just hate this empty feeling. xx

OP posts:

Teeteee · 26/07/2015 23:02

Hello everyone. I'm new here just want to have some support & chat with others that have saddly been in my shoes.. I have two children girls 8 & 4. Recently wanted to try again came off my contraceptive patch in January fell pregnant in March unfortunately I had a mmc in May after an early scan (no reason for the scan just always been a paranoia) but something felt different from my first two pregnancies I literally felt nothing other than peeing on a stick daily I wouldn't of known I was pregnant..

I was 7 weeks scan showed nothing had grown just a little yolk sac confirmed my worst fears. I had a natural mc completed by 1st June AF came exactly 28 days later & we are now trying again so desperately want to be pregnant although I know I'm going to be a complete nervous worrier the next time!

Just didn't believe it would happen to me as I had perfectly healthy pregnancies births & babies I have been tracking my fertile days on a few apps now and my friend recommended using pre seed as that helped her fall pregnant in her 1st month of using it. I'm a few days post ovulation now hoping we caught this month!! According to my app I should test on 11th August if no AF! ????

hoping to hear happy endings after mmc..

Sockswasher · 27/07/2015 19:15

Hi
Joining this thread after mmc 12+4 weeks last week.
GP refuses to send me to our local recurrent miscarriage clinic, because I'm a mother already. So I contacted a consultant privately to try to get some answers.
Really grieving and wanting to get pregnant again asap. :(

Original poster

alisonfindlay73 · 28/07/2015 09:47

Teeteee what is pre seed? xx

OP posts:

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 28/07/2015 10:00

to you OP and others who have mc. It's totally normal to feel this way.

It can be helpful to wait until you've had one period, just so that you have a date to work from. Early scans can be a bit stressful if you don't know your dates and hence what you ought to be able to see. But I also know several people who didn't wait.

I had 2 mcs before I then had 3 successful pregnancies - I understand what you mean about that loss of innocence about pregnancy and early pregnancy was always an anxious time for me. But I enjoyed the later stages of my pregnancies very much.

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