Mmc discovered at 8 weeks

[Impatientwino]

I had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks today because I had a pretty horrid bleed in my first pregnancy (all turned out fine and DS is 2.5 and perfect) and sadly the scan showed a gestational sac measuring 21mm but nothing else.

I knew something was wrong as she started doing an abdominal scan but then asked me if I was sure of my dates then to empty my bladder so she could do a vaginal scan. I saw immediately that the sac was empty and just wailed. Because I was so upset she couldn't continue with the scan so she didn't rule out ectopic unfortunately. I haven't had any real pains, a bit of dull aches and stretching type pains that I thought were just normal.

I've had such strong pregnancy symptoms, been so sick, utterly exhausted, much stronger than with my son which makes it feel especially cruel. I understand this is because the sac still produces HCG.

I rang my local epu and I have to see my gp on Monday to get referred to them. They've said they'll see me on Monday with referral.

I keep going from floods of tears to feeling so angry that I want to punch something to feeling philosophical about it all.

Just wondered if anyone can give me an idea of what lies ahead now? Sequence of events? I can't stop thinking about how long it's going to take to pass naturally if it hasn't already done so by 8 weeks.

Thanks in advance ladies

Oh no impatient, how horrible to have to wait longer. I have my fingers crossed for you that they will not make you wait a week on top of that, and will be thinking of you tomorrow. Are you getting support from DP/family, etc?

I'm feeling...fine, oddly fine. Operation was no problem, was wheeled down at 9.30 and leaving the hospital 12.30. Am in no pain and not bleeding much, and the staff were lovely. I think I used up all my emotions on finding out about the MMC, and then with the four day wait.

I would definitely recommend this way of managing a miscarriage, though of course it's such a personal choice.

glad to hear you are well chinchilla i felt just like you. take it easy as you may be tired for the next few days. hope things start feeling a bit better going forward

Glad you're ok.

Compared with the awfulness of finding out you are going to miscarry, a little light surgery under general anaesthetic is easy.

Glad you're feeling ok chinchilla, hope you are able to rest (as much as is possible with a toddler) and you're being looked after.

My DH has been fantastic, he's a wonderful man and keeps putting me first even though he is feeling really sad too bless him.

My parents only live 5 mins away and my mum gave me dinner to pop in the oven last night which was lovely. Also my in laws are coming over today (was already planned) so my DS will stay with them while I'm at hospital and then MIL will do us lunch so not much for me to do today which is lovely, I'm so lucky that I've got such a great supportive family.

Will let you know how appt goes.

Rest up chinchilla

I had a message from a friend last night who has had 3 miscarriages (now has two DC) and she said

'it's easy to be matter of fact when you look back on it in the future but at the time it really is the loneliest, saddest and hardest thing to go through. You will be ok but you don't know that yet, be sad, cry, laugh, be happy, feel nothing, whatever you like, you'll be ok regardless'

So pleased you have the support, for any sort of shock/bereavement it makes all the difference; my partner and MN are what has got me through. Thinking of you at your appointment today. Do let us know how you get on.

And ginger and Guy; I will take it easy, just bimble around house and town.

I think the important thing is giving yourself permission to feel how you feel, like impatient's friend, and recognising that it will be up and down and there will be good moments and bad ones.

How did it go today impatient? Been thinking of you.
x

Chinchilla...
Hope the surgery wasn't too bad and you're on the road to recovery

Hi sorry it's been a long day and I've been feeling unwell this evening but feeling a bit better now.

Well, the scan was fine, to be honest I ended up feeling sorry for the staff as they looked so sad and forlorn when I told them I already knew there was just an empty sac. I'd had a cry this morning so felt a bit emotionless while I was there to be honest.

They were so lovely, the sonographer was such a kind gentle man and asked me if I wanted the patient screen turned off which was nice as I would have forgotten to ask and just stared at it the whole time. It made it better for me and I just kind of looked around the room a bit while they were taking measurements. They ended up having to do a vaginal scan as well but they ruled out ectopic and anything untoward going on anywhere but my uterus.

I then had to go and sit in the quiet room while they wrote up the findings etc and after 40 minutes of waiting for them to come back essentially the outcome is that I have to be rescanned in a weeks time because I'm still measuring below the 25mm guideline by about half a mm. The sac has actually grown 3mm in 3 days.

I asked for the erpc to be booked for the same date as the rescan and they went off to consult the lead doctor who came in and basically said that according to them a missed miscarriage couldn't be confirmed until 25mm so in their eyes I was still 'very much pregnant' - what the actual fuck? Great choice of words!

She said that there is always hope (?!) and maybe next week the scan will show something so they have to be sure. I told her there is no hope as it wasn't scientifically possible as the sac is measuring over 7 weeks and the only way there would be an embryo that couldn't be seen was if I was only around 5 weeks pregnant and as I'd had positive pg tests 5 weeks ago showing I was at least 3 weeks pg then that wasn't possible!

She said she couldn't ethically book me an erpc without confirmation of mmc and no consultant would allow her to. After all this she then went on to say that because of the fact I already have to wait a week that they will put me on the emergency list for the day I have my scan or if that's not possible the elective one for that day or the following. Why on earth she didn't just say that in the first place I don't know.

I don't think she meant to be horrid but her manner was very abrupt and to the point which didn't come across well.

Feeling odd this evening, very general feeling of unwell, can't put my finger on it, maybe something is happening who knows...

I've had a glass of wine and I'm shattered so that's probably not helping.

Hope you're feeling ok chinchilla and not too sore x

impatientwino, that sounds like a struggle of a day... make sure to take it easy and i hope that the next while sn't too difficult for you!

What an absolute headfuck. I had MMC management a month ago... I'm sorry for what you are going through. I hated that week in between scans xx

Oh no impatient, talk about the worst of both worlds. I'm so sorry to hear that you've got to wait, and that the doctor got it so very wrong in their approach.
I know they have guidelines but there's ways of handling it.

How are you this morning? Hope you can take the time off over this coming week too.

Hi chinchilla sorry I've had a weird couple of days. Been feeling so sad about things and have just felt exhausted. Not helped by the fact my dad has kindly shared the awful head cold with us so both DH and I are both feeling rotten.

Still feeling incredibly sick but boobs not sore anymore so that's something at least. Most of the people that knew I was pregnant now know what's happened so that is making me feel as if another part of it is over if that makes sense.

Been having a few twinges and cramps but no bleeding or anything so still frantically knicker checking every time I go to the toilet which is getting annoying.

How are you feeling?

Thank you to the others that had posted, I didn't mean to not reply x

Oh God, the knicker checking...that was one of the little extra cruel elements that you don't realise until you're there. My concern was about mc'ing whilst having to wait and it nearly finished me off, and with the knicker checking it's the similarity with the first few weeks of pregnancy that's grim.

I'm so, so sorry you're having to wait, it's such a stressful limbo, and you can't move on or do anything. Glad you've got your DH to hibernate with. I take it you'll be back in next Tuesday for another scan and then hopefully the operation?

I've been up and down too: Wednesday I discovered in my booking in notes that as they only had my LMP to go from, the baby's EDD was going to be my birthday. Then yesterday the letter for my 12 week scan turned up. Funnily enough both had me in fucking floods of tears. Today I am going to go into town if it kills me, and try to start back on the road to 'normal'.

Post as much or as little as you need impatient, and do whatever you need to get through. Hope the cold starts to improve too....

Oh that's so terrible about your letter, I'm not surprised you were upset. That's shit about your EDD too, massive hug. Are you a big birthday person? Can you take DS somewhere nice for the day? Spa day with some girl friends? Not that I think that's some magical answer to all your woes but sometimes planning something makes me feel better about something.

Did you go in to town? How are you feeling?

My EDD was Halloween. My group of girl friends and I are nicknamed 'the witches' or 'the coven' by our husbands and we'd been having a big laugh about how this was going to be a witch baby and how perfect that was.

I feel so strange, it feels like I'm in limbo, everyone else seems to be getting on with their lives and I feel like I'm standing still, nothing has changed for me. People keep asking me if I'm feeling a bit better yet and I can't work out why they're in such a rush for me to be ok, just because they will feel better I suppose.

I know it's silly and hormonal but I just want to feel sad for a while, in the privacy of my home, I'm not exactly moping all the time but I don't want to joke or laugh about what so and so told you or think about what we should have for the family buffet for blah blahs birthday.

I just want to scream I don't care! I just found out I'm not having a baby so I don't give a flying fuck!! I'm the least selfish person you could meet, I constantly put others first and just for once in my life I'm trying to think about myself, my feelings and what I want to do.

If in a few months I still feel like this then fine, I need to get some help but jeez it's only been a week today since we found out and people are making out like everything should be ok by now. I'm sure I'll feel a bit better after Tuesday's scan (9.10am so very pleased it's first thing).

Hmm that was a bit of rant!

Made it into town yesterday- bought the memory box for the pictures, etc, and bought a little rattle to go in there too. Was a real achievement to get out for the first time on my own.

You sound totally 'normal' to me impatient; I didn't want to leave the house, didn't want to talk to people, certainly didn't want to hear anyone laugh. You're right, people do want you to be better, and it's not going to be 'better'... eventually it will be less worse, and will just be a part of life, but certainly at the moment it's raw and horrendous.
I'm only now properly starting to grieve and cry because I couldn't until I'd had the op.

How's the head cold by the way?

Just to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow impatient, and hope that you can progress with managing the miscarriage in the best, and quickest, way for you.
it's such a shitty time.

Hey chinchilla, thanks so much.

I've been holed up I'm bed the last few days. Head cold turned out to be worse - almost flu like and I've really been struggling to do anything.

Thankfully Im feeling semi ok this evening so hoping after a good nights sleep I'll feel ok in the morning.

Nice you've got your memory box sorted, must help with the grieving process. This is all just truly shit and I wish this didn't happen to anyone.

Hope you're feeling ok?

Will check in tomorrow after scan etc...

So sorry the illness has developed, that is the very last thing you need; the stress can't be helping.

I've got my fingers crossed for you that they can take action tomorrow, or at the very least the day after.

I'm up and down; was quite hysterical with it all last night, didn't sleep and looked like hell this morning. Today I feel OK and like I might be up to working from home tomorrow. At least the bleeding has now stopped; just want a negative test result so we can crack on with trying again.

Good luck, and will look out for your update tomorrow.

Hi had the rescan this morning and the sac had grown to 25.9 mm so they are happy nothing is there and told me the doc would be along to see us shortly.

When she turned up she was shocked to hear that the doctor last week had said that I could go on the list for erpc today or tomorrow and went off to find the next slot.

When she came back she said that next slot was 7th April but they had managed to find me an emergency slot on Thursday. I couldn't believe it, I told her that waiting until then would be horrific as its already been 10 days and I'm still so sick.

Came home and made arrangements for Thursday but then had a call from the hospital saying they've had a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon and would I like to come then so said yes please.

Can't wait for it to be over now, it's all been such a drama and dragged out.

I mean waiting until 7th April would have been horrific by the way..

Oh goodness, it's the Easter bank holiday isn't it? That would have caused such a long wait....that plus the original Doctor's error. You do seem to have had a combination of crap luck in terms of it being dragged out, and further crap information from the Docs at all stages.

Thank goodness you're in sooner. I take it you're OK with operations/anesthetics in general? The operation is the one relatively painless/'easy' bit, and I was shocked at how normal I felt afterwards.

How are you feeling in yourself at the moment?

Have just read through and didn't want to run.
Have to say my thoughts are with you all-I had mmc at 8 weeks 2 years ago Last month. It doesn't leave You.
Sadly i reacted terribly to medical management and hemmoaraged so ended up with transfusions and 10 days in hospital - was never given surgical option but god would I take that of ever happened again!
looking to ttc this year - but terrified, can't seem to want to or get excited as just think it's going to happen again :-(
I hope you all manage to get through this and send my love to every one of you!

Good luck with ttc babygiraffe, and fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you; having a mc does make the whole process more terrifying though doesn't it

Best of luck for tomorrow impatient , can well imagine you've got a busy and stressful evening/night ahead