Mmc discovered at 8 weeks

[Impatientwino]

I had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks today because I had a pretty horrid bleed in my first pregnancy (all turned out fine and DS is 2.5 and perfect) and sadly the scan showed a gestational sac measuring 21mm but nothing else.

I knew something was wrong as she started doing an abdominal scan but then asked me if I was sure of my dates then to empty my bladder so she could do a vaginal scan. I saw immediately that the sac was empty and just wailed. Because I was so upset she couldn't continue with the scan so she didn't rule out ectopic unfortunately. I haven't had any real pains, a bit of dull aches and stretching type pains that I thought were just normal.

I've had such strong pregnancy symptoms, been so sick, utterly exhausted, much stronger than with my son which makes it feel especially cruel. I understand this is because the sac still produces HCG.

I rang my local epu and I have to see my gp on Monday to get referred to them. They've said they'll see me on Monday with referral.

I keep going from floods of tears to feeling so angry that I want to punch something to feeling philosophical about it all.

Just wondered if anyone can give me an idea of what lies ahead now? Sequence of events? I can't stop thinking about how long it's going to take to pass naturally if it hasn't already done so by 8 weeks.

Thanks in advance ladies

I'm currently in a similar place, including small DS.
Hopefully you'll get referred OK by your GP, then EPU will scan you to confirm. Depending on how far along you are/are meant to be, and their protocols, you may be asked to come back for another scan.
Hopefully they will just give you the choice of surgical or medical management- don't know if they will also offer 'wait and see'.

I think I've read virtually every thread on here since my MMC was found on Tues, and there's a wealth of information, and support.

So sorry you're facing this too, it's beyond shit isn't it...
(hug)

Hi chinchilla

Thanks for replying, I'm so sorry for you too. Feel very numb this morning, didn't sleep much and typically DS was up super early this morning.

Will have a read of the threads properly, had a quick scan of them but was still a bit teary when I posted - should have waited until I'd calmed down a bit.

It's lovely and sunny today so we're going to take DS out for the day to a local farm otherwise I'll sit and mope and no point in that is there.

Hope you're feeling ok this morning x

for both of you.

I'm so sorry this is happening. My miscarriage was slightly different so I can't really advise on what will happen next for you but wanted you to know that someone is thinking of you.

Thanks 99, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're feeling ok.

I've had a look at the nice guidelines this morning and it seems that with a sac measuring less than 25mm (21.7 yesterday) they will scan me then will wait 7 days and scan again to check no growth has occurred.

My cycles are so regular and I'm certain of my LMP dates that I can't see any way in which the pregnancy is so much less advanced that there is an embryo present that just can't be seen.

Morning impatient
Please don't take what I posted as meaning you shouldn't have done, and so sorry if it came over that way! It's so important to have yr own thread, just to get it down.

I worried you might be made to wait a week; I think because I was meant to be 10-11 weeks but was 8, and so there definitely should have been a heartbeat but wasn't, they didn't need to. I looked at the size guidelines from Nice/MA too, but wasn't in a state to take it all in.

We're doing the park today with our DS, then I'm being dropped off at the hotel this afternoon, with wine....

How do you feel about the various options for managing the mmc?

impatient so so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc earlier this month and feel for you and what you are going through right now. In my case, I found out at 10 weeks when I started bleeding, but the baby had stopped developing round about the 6 week mark. This means that it was at least 4 weeks before natural mc occurred, just to give you an idea of how long it can take. I think others have had even longer waits. If there's just a sac, that may indicate you got to about 5? weeks, so it's already been 3 weeks for you. Sorry to be so practical, but it may help you decide your options, i.e. if you want to wait for a natural mc or go for medical management. It's important that you take control of what you want to happen; I never got a choice as it was already all underway. Look after yourself, take lots of time to grieve and to rest; whatever you decide you are going to need physical and mental time to recover. Thinking of you.

Impatient, just posting in solidarity.

My mmc was discovered at 9 weeks last November. They waited a week and then scanned again to confirm. I knew there was no how during that week because if a had only been 6 weeks as they said, it would have meant that I got a positive pregnancy test a week before conception. The week of waiting was still awful.

It is worth you starting to think about how you would like to proceed. Have a look on the Miscarriage Association website and there is a lot of information about the various options.
There are 3 options- natural, medical and surgical. There are pros AMS cons to each and the Miscarriage Association has lots of information.
When nine was confirmed, they said that they couldn't do surgical management because it was too small. Actually this was misleading because what they meant was they have an internal policy of only offering the surgery to those who measure further along.
I went home and miscarried at home a week later. Do you want me to describe what the actual miscarriage was like? I am more than happy to tell you if you like, I just didn't want to be explicit about blood loss etc if you aren't ready to think about that yet.
I then had surgical management a few days later for retained tissue. The surgery was absolutely fine.
There are plenty of women on this forum who can tell you about medical management.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is so shit and fucking unfair. Just take some time to process this and think about how you want it to go. Also think about if you want to mark your loss in some way. I didn't because for me, the best way to think about it was that it never would have been a baby because it wouldn't have developed no matter what I did. However, not everyone chooses to feel that way and you have every right to grieve you're loss in whatever way you choose.
For now, be kind to yourself, disappear into a little bubble if you wish, and wait for time to pass. Don't go to work. Time will pass and it will all be over soon and you will be ok.

Hi ladies, back from our day out and came back to your lovely messages, thank you for taking the time and I'm very touched you have shared your experiences.

Chinchilla, don't worry I knew what you meant, sometimes it's just helpful writing it all down isn't it? Hope you're enjoying your wine this afternoon - I've poured myself a glass and am sitting enjoying it now. Icy cold Sauvignon blanc, oh how I've missed thee...

Shieldbug, I'm sorry for your loss, it must have felt so sudden and out of your control. That's a good point about the weeks, I hadn't really thought about it. Oddly enough I've had some quite bad stomach cramps today and I keep checking my knickers but nothing - I did wonder if now my brain knows my body will follow suit.

Guy, I'm sorry for your loss, the week wait must have been dreadful and I'm not looking forward to it. Will definitely visit the website you suggest and look at the information.

With regards to my options I think waiting for it to happen naturally wouldn't be good for me, my DS is only 2.5 and is only in childcare 2 days a week as I work from home. I'll be constantly worried (as would anyone) so I think that leaves assistance only.

I have read some of the practicalities of miscarriage thread and read some of the medical management stories and I'm not overly keen I have to say. I suppose I feel a bit better knowing that I'm not going to pass an embryo - just a sac and placenta.

I've had a hysteroscopy before and although a different procedure it was day surgery, in the same area, essentially was a d&c and was under GA. I know this will be different with bleeding afterwards but I'm not uncomfortable with surgery if that makes sense.

I'll have to keep an open mind I suppose and see what their recommendation is tomorrow (hopefully they will see me tomorrow)

Again, thank you so much for giving me your time, I'm so grateful, I've been feeling lonely even though DH is fantastic and been so great. He's obviously devastated too but desperately trying to look after me.

Blowing a very unmumsnetty x to you all

impatient i also had an mmc last november. i had spotting then a light bleed at 9 weeks. was referred to epu for early scan. showed sac the right size but the contents werent. i had to wait 2 weeks for a rescan to confirm mmc but was told i would likely mc in that time. i didnt. re-scan confirmed mmc and i was advised to mc naturally. another 2 weeks passed and i still hadnt mc'd so i was then given medical management to do at home which failed. following that i had some complications (which i think are pretty unusual, havent come across anyone else who has had the same so wnt bother u with those) and i ended up with an emergency erpc.

i was a naieve first timer. if i had known then what i know now i would have had more input into the whole process. i would have a look online like the miscarraige association site and the miscarraige board on here and arm yourself with as much info as possible. it is a very difficult situation to be in and you have to do what is best for you.

i hope you have lots of real life support and i am so sorry you are going through this

ahh just saw u are keen on the erpc i didnt want to sway you but after everything i went through the erpc was very straight forward and pain free and i wish i had done that as soon as i could (but it wasnt offered). if you want erpc i would inform the hospital and usually if u have to go for a rescan they are able to book u in for the day of the scan to have the surgery. or ive read lots of cases like that on here anyway.

as i said above mine was an emergency one so a little different.

Sorry to hear of everyone's losses!! I had a MMC at 9 weeks in dec (only had 5w sac) and I felt like I needed control so opted for medical management! I was TERRIFIED because of everything I read! It actually went really fine! I was given 4 pessaries and sent home with DH! 4 hours on the second I had cramps and it was over within 30 minutes! Pain waSnt too bad (like AF CRAMP) and bleeding/clots wasn't too bad to deal with!!

Take your time deciding and look on here for support!! Mumsnet really helped me x

Glad you've had a decent day out Impatient.
Hopefully the EPU will get on with the surgical procedure, if that's the route you want to take. Mine recommended it, but I had been clear from the start that was the only option for me. It helps so much having read up on what is available and other women's experiences before that decision.
I hope they don't make you wait, as for me, that has been the hardest thing (see my thread... ) Like you, the actual procedure is not an issue.

I'm now at the hotel on my own, and going in tomorrow for the op. Hoping that we both get through Monday.

northern really feel for you. my mmc initially discovered at 9wks and it wasnt all over until 14wks. i suffered terribly and wouldnt wish it on anyone. i am now having counselling and it has helped lots, as has posting on here. if you can, its worth looking into. it's really helping.

Gingerbread, your experience sounds beyond appalling, and I don't know how you coped.
It's an awful thing for us all, but I am so grateful for you and others posting about your experiences as it has helped make my choice a very simple one. Thank you.

Only 12 hours to go now, and I should spend at least a couple of those asleep.....

i think its horrific for everyone tbh i dnt know if im any worse off than anyone else but i definitely didnt cope with it that well emotionally.

dont worry about tomorrow, try and focus on it being an end point. i know its awful but things have to start looking up and tomorrow once it is all over maybe that can be the beginning to getting better?

i dont want to be insensitive but this may be helpful to all those going through this difficult time, i had my erpc 14th december. i am typing this 10wks pregnant tomo.

what i took from my mmc as a good point is my body did a very good job of carrying my child just unfortunately there was something not quite right with the egg and it was prbably best that it didnt progress. i hope that doesnt offend anyone.

Gosh gingerbread you've really been though the mill haven't you? So awful, what a terrible sequence of events but I'm so pleased that you are pregnant! Congratulations!

Chinchilla, I'm sorry you have to be without DH tonight. I do hope you can get some rest tonight and tomorrow is over as quickly as possible for you.

Will be thinking of you.

well i probs have tbh but im still here. through the worst of it i just kept telling myself good prep for labour!

and i'm still here. in the early days, sometimes i used to think life would never be the same again but i think you have to let yourself go through all those motions. i does get better. i hope u r all ok and i an terribly sorry for your losses

So sorry, I had this with my first pregnancy (also at 8 weeks). As the gestational sac was just under the size they can confirm it on a single scan I also waited a week for a second scan but was sure of my dates (we'd had fertility treatment).

I was then offered the choice wait for it to miscarry naturally, medical management or ERPC. I went with medical management.

I chose an ERPC with a subsequent miscarriage though and feel that, for me, was the better and kinder option.

Congratulations ginger, that's wonderful news.
Given the five weeks you spent going through the mc I'm not surprised you still feel shaken by it in some ways. Sounds like the process was almost worse than the mc itself, iyswim.

I know that DP and I want to get back ttc asap, but I also know that this sort of traumatic event can affect you in ways you're not aware of til it's too late....and I've been there and don't want to do it again.

Hope you get some sleep impatient, do you have a time for your appointment?

well youre apparently more fertile afterwards!

i sincerely hope you are ok and getting lots of support from your dp's. i dont want to turn this thread into all about me i just wanted to share my experience and tell you it will get better. think i needed that on my darkest days.

Thinking of today Chinchilla, hope all goes well x

Thanks impatient, am currently gowned up and waiting.
Woke at half two, with no more sleep, but adrenaline keeping me going.

Really hope the EPU is not too distressing for you today, and that you get the outcome you want arranged.

Thank you to all on this Board, it has helped immensely.

And, because life is like that, DS chose this morning to do the mother of all poo explosions over the living room- clothing, throws, cushions, sofa, the works. Had a call from poor DP who was so stressed about it, as he was desparately trying to get here asap.
Gotta laugh or you'll cry....

hope all has gone well chinchilla and you are out the other side now. thinking of you

impatient how was the epu? Hope you are getting lots of help and support.
chinchilla how are you?
Hello gingerbread good to hear your bean is still doing well.

Hi shieldbug thanks for thinking of me - unfortunately even with a referral first thing from my GP the EPU couldn't see me today - my appointment is at 9.10 tomorrow. It's been a long day waiting around. At least my little boy is in nursery on a Monday so I've sat firmly on my bottom and drank tea and watched mindless junk on the tv, something I never do which was just what I needed.

Chinchilla I hope you're feeling ok my love