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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

999 replies

barkingtreefrog · 21/03/2015 15:30

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

OP posts:
AndCounting · 31/03/2015 18:55

Thank you all. I hadn't realised how normal surgical management is. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm feeling relaxed about my decision now.

just yes they will do genetic testing, which is another pro.

Marchgirl · 31/03/2015 19:02

Oh counting, I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news Sad. I had so hoped that Everything would be ok. I'm afraid I have no experience of surgical management but I'm sure you will get lots of advice on here. So heartbreaking to go through so many. I hope your dp and your family are looking after you. We are here for you if/when you want to talk x

Brummiegirl15 · 31/03/2015 19:06

Counting that is fucking shit and I'm so so sorry.

I've had surgical twice (out of 3) and for me it was absolutely the best decision and if I had to, one I would do again in a heartbeat.

For me it was about closing my eyes and when they were open again it was all over. I needed it just be over.

Physical recovery was incredibly quick. 1st surgical minimal spotting and 2nd, nothing.

It was a very quick procedure, I got taken down to theatre at 9pm, and by 9.55 I was opening my eyes in recovery. And that includes going down, faffing about in anaesthetic room and actual procedure.

I was tired the next day or so but that was the GA.

I wouldn't hesitate to have another, should I ever need to.

I'm gutted for you. Big hugs xxx Flowers

AndCounting · 31/03/2015 19:16

Thanks again, all. Yep DP and my parents are buzzing about helping and I am reclining 'tangled up in my thread' as DP affectionately describes me when I'm hanging out with you guys.

brummie I love your posts. Thank you for saying it straight! Really helpful to hear Surgical MGMT went so well for you.

tannyLoo · 31/03/2015 19:22

Counting, so sorry to hear this. I've only had natural MCs but after reading everyone's experiences of surgical I wish I'd been less stubborn.

Lots of hugs.Thanks

bakingtins · 31/03/2015 19:48

counting I'm so sorry to hear your news. It's beyond shit and I wish there was something we could do to make it better or take some of your pain on our shoulders.

Boozle80 · 31/03/2015 19:57

Counting, how completely and utterly shit :(. There's no other way to describe it. I have to agree with someone else, closing my eyes for an hour and escaping was the best way to deal with it for me under GA. I've had three and would definitely choose that option again. Life's fucking rubbish sometimes isn't it. We'll all be with you on Thursday xx

Catlover2014 · 31/03/2015 20:03

Oh counting I am dreadfully sorry to hear your news, was thinking about you today and hoping that all would be ok. This journey can be so cruel.

I hope DH and parents are looking after you and you have some nice chocolate at the ready. I had a medical management for one of my mcs and I found it to be much better, less painful on every level.

Glad you're ok just and congratulations to tiny on the birth of baby Alice. Hope mum and baby are well.

Hugs to you all xxxxx

TinyTear · 31/03/2015 20:27

So sorry counting.
Surgical management was my preferred choice, I had two. I liked to get instant closure...

Monten · 31/03/2015 20:43

Oh counting - I'm so so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I've always had surgical and like the others found it quick, painless and allowed me to get closure quickly. Genetic testing also gave me closure. I'm so sorry.

Congratulations on baby Alice tiny what a beautiful name xxx

cloudjumper · 31/03/2015 20:50

Oh counting, I'm so so sorry Sad I had so wished it'd be good news for you this time. It's not fair that you have endure this again. Please look after yourself xxx

Minnie74 · 31/03/2015 20:59

Oh counting I'm so so sorry. Life is just total shit! I'm glad dp and your mum are around to look after you. Not had surgical man (I had medical man in hospital- best choice for me) so no advice but haven't heard any bad things about surgery. So sorry you have to go through it all again. Literally I could cry for you xx

freckle thanks for that info. We were supposedly referred on 3rd March so should have heard by now based on your exp. So pissed off if it's lost in the system somewhere (or has never been done!) aargh!

tiny congratulations on your teeny tiny Alice. Such a lovely name. Star

mrsdiddly that's really good going! Deserves a bfp for sure! We usually only manage three times (maybe four if we're luckyGrin)

Still debating about the meal tomorrow. I do really like the baby bomber so am trying to get happy for her. And she won't be talking about it as she doesn't want anyone to know till after her scan (her mmc was picked up at the 12 week scan) so it'll just be the seven month friend. If I cry I cry! Confused

Frecklefire · 31/03/2015 21:05

Counting** - i have just read your update and it is like a blow to the chest, physically winding. I am so so so sorry. I wish i could meet you personally and hug you. I wish there was an icon for holding hands. I keep thinking of your words "6...wow". Nothing i can say is any good - wherever you are i am holding you in my thoughts. Xxx

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 31/03/2015 21:09

Minnie if you want to see them and you know they'll be understanding if you find it hard then just go, but make sure you tell yourself it's ok to leave at any point if you need to. I've braced myself for bumps before and found it actually ok, and other times it really hasn't been ok and I've just got up and left, but no one has ever been anything less than lovely about it.

I've got the next two days at work in back to back meetings in a hotel with an 8 month bump. Not looking forward to that, but after that it's a weekend with DH Smile and results day on Monday.... Confused

OP posts:
twilightstruggle · 31/03/2015 23:11

Counting - I'm so very sorry this has happened to you again. It's utterly heartbreaking. I agree with those that say surgical is generally a 'positive' experience and it also makes genetic testing more likely if that's what you want. Hugs.

Congrats Tiny. Beautiful name. Best wishes to mother and baby.

Minnie74 · 31/03/2015 23:18

Just wondering. If our rmc appointment has been effed up (as I'm now assuming as Freckle was referred after us and is going on fri when we've heard nothing!) would the testing on the baby just have been binned as there was no one wanting the results? Or would they have been done and are just kept somewhere? Going to be furious if it's all gone tits up. I feel a crying/raging phone call to Epu tomorrow coming on!

bootles · 31/03/2015 23:23

counting I am so sorry. So sorry. My heart drops for you and goes out to you. There is nothing I can say that is enough, I know. In terms of management, I have had natural, medical and surgical, and different methods have been more fitting for me at different times, but surgical was fine for me (x3). I was ok to go home and carry on as normal straight afterwards (physically) and found it painless and over and done with quickly. I'm thinking of you xx

ThePopAndCry · 31/03/2015 23:24

tiny huge congratulations. Hope you're all well and getting some well deserved rest.

counting I am really, really sorry. Am thinking of you. Flowers

Am on holiday in Llandudno with ds, dh and my parents and so, what with work last week as well, have not been posting but have been reading. Waves and hugs to everyone.

Got confirmation last week at liverpool that I have at least one adhesion that needs sorting so now need a hysteroscopy. (I'm trying to work out why they didn't just do this in the first place, but that's the completely bonkers logic of the NHS, eh?)

And then was having a lovely time on holiday til I got massive baby bomb text from a genuinely well-meaning ex-colleague who had her first child at the same time I had my ds and is now 20 weeks etc etc blah-di-fucking-blah.

Two steps forward, one step back. Have resorted to Wine Wine Wine

bootles · 31/03/2015 23:26

tiny so wonderful to hear of the safe arrival of Alice! Congratulations! Brings a tear to the eye! X

enlightenedbunny · 01/04/2015 03:14

Sorry ladies, i struggle to keep up...!

counting so sorry to hear your news Sad thinking of you Flowers

barking lovely blastocyst! Keeping everything xed for you xxx

tiny you did it!!! Congratulations!!!

Frecklefire · 01/04/2015 07:13

Hey there minnie** i'd def chase up because before me my workmate got an appointment within 2 weeks after a 2nd mc - i couldn't believe it (and was similarly furious as i'd waited three months for my apt at another hos. I had wonfered if she had got a cancellation.) As far as i can tell the rmc apts are always on a thursday. Why dont you call them directly and ask to get moved forward? Goodluck xxxx

Catlover2014 · 01/04/2015 07:21

minnie I would certainly chase them. It's infuriating the way the system lets people down and I get very annoyed with nhs at times.

Do you have the name and number of a secretary there? I always tried to establish that information as its the best way to make a pain of yourself. And believe me in the last few years of ttc / rmc I always made a pain of myself. Sadly it is often a case of she who shouts loudest.

XxX

Monten · 01/04/2015 07:35

Morning pop sorry can't keep up, do you mind telling me how they discovered/diagnosed the adhesion?

Quite Envy Angry about all these hysterocopys - my nhs trust have been completely useless and dismissive of my concerns.

girliesaints · 01/04/2015 07:40

Minnie, I would echo Cat's comments particularly about finding the consultant's secretary's name. I became on first name terms with mine after having lots of problems with my referral. Whilst I don't generally like making a fuss, it became the only way, otherwise I would still now be waiting for my last appointment when in the end I was seen over a month ago through chasing x

Monten · 01/04/2015 07:48

pop I'm so sorry, how totally rude and insensitive of me. It's early and I posted in a rush before my train arrived. What I should have said was I'm so sorry you've been diagnosed with adhesions, that must be really worrying. And I'm sorry about the baby bomb. It is indeed one step forward two steps back sometimes Flowers