MMC - advice on practicalities please

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Hi, I'm @10 weeks and missed miscarriage diagnosed yesterday. Baby died a week or so ago. Gestational sac measures 53x44x23mm and embryo 20mm. If I wait for it to pass 'naturally' does that mean my cervix has to dilate to 5cm (my cervix has never had to dilate before - will it be v painful?) and it will be all visible or does it disintegrate? Sorry to be gross, but I would really appreciate some honest answers.

Hi, I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm in a similar situation, although the baby is larger. Anything over 3cm they recommend an ERPC, which I am having in the next day or so.

I've miscarried naturally at 11 weeks, although never had a scan so I have no idea how big everything was. It was quite painful and I had no idea what to expect so I was a bit scared as well. I had period like cramps for a couple of days which became more intense. Presumably this was my cervix dialating? I passed lots of small clots and then finally one large clot which my body 'pushed' out into the loo, and to be honest, I didn't look to see what it was! I have no idea if this is the same for everyone, I can only give my experience. It was a bank holiday so the EPU was closed so I was not able to be offered anything until it was too late.

I miscarried again at 7 weeks and was offered and accepted an ERPC which I found much easier and less upsetting, although it does mean a day in hospital. This is under general anesthetic, in theatre. It was better for me as it gave me more certainty and control which appeals to me as a person. Recovery was really good from this.

Are they offering an ERPC? I think you can see from my experience that my preference is to opt for one, but it's worth talking through with your EPU.

On a further note, in between the first two miscarriages and this one, I had my DS 1 who is 2.5 and lovely. I wouldn't change a thing now, as I wouldn't have him if either of the first two pregnancies were successful. I'm not sure if you have children (via c-section hence no dialation) but I just wanted to offer some hope for the future. Good luck xx

Backtotheplanet -Thank you so much for your thoughtful & honest reply, and I'm sorry for your loss too.
I am booked for ERPC on Friday, just feel like I might be starting to get a bit of pain so wondering if it's going to happen sooner.

This is my 7th miscarriage, had 2 previous mmc treated with ERPCs and others were earlier losses, which were a similair experience to what you described. I guess I am just a bit cowardly & scared thinking if it's much worse than that I am worried how I'll handle it, particuarly if anything's visible. I am sure you're right, best to avoid looking.

I am very lucky, I have 3DC.
This pregnancy wasn't planned but I was so thrilled. It is so sad.

Thanks again for your kind reply, I hope it goes smoothly for you, the limbo-state is the worst, isn't it? And all best wishes for going on to complete your family.

I have had the medical route. My MMC was picked up on Wednesday and I had the thingy done at the weekend. It was the pessary, is that what you're having? I can talk about that if you like if so.

I was 8 weeks although the MMC happened at 5 weeks.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Op I'm so sorry....I have had both methods with my MMC's ....I had one at the term you are measuring now. I went down the surgical route and I felt that the best choice for me at this stage.

I had a ga and was feeling a little uncomfortable physically for a few days. Give yourself plenty of time and be kind to yourself.

Thank you both for your replies. It is so good to hear from people who have been through it.
I am booked for the surgical procedure on Friday, but I might have to put it off until next week as no childcare, but I am worried about what will happen if I pass it naturally.

OP I started having intense cramping and bleeding last night and was terrified that I would be passing it all naturally. Paracetamol and ibuprofen didn't work to stop the pain so a friend came over and babysat and we went straight to A&E calling the ward where I am booked in for the ERPC on the way to let them know the situation. The pain stopped suddenly on the way in, but we went anyway. I was seen immediately by triage and sent to a bed in the emergency department. The gynaecology ward sent a Dr to see me who was so kind. They didn't bring the op forward but gave me kick ass painkillers and said that it still might not happen naturally, that a clot may have been being passed and that's where the pain came from. The painkillers should help manage the pain whilst I wait for the ERPC. All in all I had half an hour of intense pain and am now drifting on a cloud of quality pain relief and have had no more heavy bleeds. Still booked in for ERPC on Thursday. I wanted to let you know, not to worry you but so you can arrange extra pain relief whilst you wait if you need. The scary thing for me is not just the pain but the uncertainty of when it might happen, how long it will last and whether it will get worse and the painkillers have made me feel that any pain I have will be manageable. I hope that the info helps and you manage to get some childcare in time for your ERPC. Xx

So sorry you're going through this backtotheplanet. Thanks for the reassurance, glad you got some good pain relief and hope all goes smoothly today. I'm booked for tomorrow, so hopefully we will both be over the worst and recuperating over the weekend.