Edwards syndrome

[KittyandTeal]

We found out today, after an agonising 5 days, that our baby girl has Edwards syndrome.

I am 22 weeks and booked in the the termination injection at kings tmrw morning. My local hospital will induce me on thurs.

I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this. Maybe to acknowledge it a bit more. We have wonderful support in friends and family and a beautiful 2yo dd.

It just feel so unfair. Tmrw I have to say goodbye to my baby. Can't get my head around it.

Thanks again all. It's amazing the strength you can gain from a bunch of strangers on the internet. I think I'd be totally lost atm if it wasn't for all your wonderfully kind replies.

I feel a little better after a big cry and telling my DH how I'm feeling.

We are lucky that we've had a fantastic medical team so far so I have every confidence that the mws tmrw will also be great. I plan on taking as much pain relief as I can, saying that I definitely don't want to be too 'out of it' when she does arrive. The worst thing would be to not remember the few hours we'll have together because I've over done the morphine.

I will contact sands after this is done. Ironically one of my friends runs the local group where I live. She's been great so far too, willing to chat via text and I know I dont have to try and keep it 'clean' and 'nice' for her. Between her and another friend who has been not talking to me about any of this but sends me hilarious updates about work they've done me the world of good.

I know somehow I'll find the strength for tmrw, I don't have a choice really. I guess I've hit that stage of just wanting to curl up in bed, pretend nothing is happening and block the world out. I guess life's not like that though.

Kitty will be thinking of you and your husband tomorrow.

You will get through it.

I've been here. It doesn't get easier, but it does her more bearable. I spent a lot of time bitter, and still am some days. One thing that saved me in the dark days was antenatal results and choices (arc) they have a helpline with the most wonderful supportive and tender women there to guide you. I still ring them sometimes now, almost a year later. I once read somewhere a poem someone had written for the child they terminated. It said 'I chose to suffer every day of my life so that you wouldn't suffer for a moment.' When I've felt guilty I have found tremendous comfort in that. If you need a stranger to talk to please do PM me x

Just wanted to say, I have no real idea what you must be going through, only that it must be terrible: overwhelming, upsetting, unfair.

Will think of you tomorrow.

Thinking of you today.

Thank you all.

We're in hospital, we're lucky that our local hospital has a special suite to deliver stillborn babies, all paid for by sands. The midwives and doctors have been wonderful. I've had the pessary so it's just a case of waiting now.

Hope it all goes as smoothly and possible and that it will help you to get some closure.

Thinking of you Kitty x

It is just so fucking shit. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

I want to say something that doesn't so trite but am struggling so have a hug.

Thinking of you. Hope you are ok (well as ok as you can be ).

Thanks all, dd was born just before 4 this afternoon. I was surprised by how painful it was, like normal labour but shorter.

Ended up with morphine and gas and air. I've got a temp so they're worried about an infection, as a result I'm in overnight. DH is staying with me and they have let dd stay with us tonight.

We are in a special suite designed by sands and atm it is our sanctuary. I don't feel like I'm in hospital. The staff have been wonderful.

It's a horrid, shirty thing to happen but this is the best experience they could have made it for us, atm I'm actually feeling strangely lucky.

I know exactly what you are saying. Just look after yourself.

Do whatever makes you feel better. Be as selfish as you can manage.

Honestly, for a stranger, I could not feel any worse for you. Totally shit but you are doing amazingly.

Oh Kitty, you sound so lovely. My heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself

I have been thinking of you, your DH and your baby today Kitty. I am glad you feel well looked after.

Just read this thread and my heart goes out to you and your family. Glad today is almost over for you, hopefully tomorrow will be a tiny bit brighter for you. I hope you're not in too much pain and are able to get some sleep.

What was your daughters name? If that's ok to ask?

Thank you all.

We've called her Rose. I'm feeling strangely positive tonight, I think I feel like we're in a lovely little bubble atm being able to spend time with her.

I'm sure tmrw will be a wrench.

Huge hugs to you and your family xxx

I hope tomorrow is not as bad as you fear and you are able to get lots of support x

I have also been through this, it was the hardest thing I have ever been through but it does get easier and time does heal. There is also an amazing charity called ARC, please get in touch with them as they helped me immensely. I am so sorry for your loss, as others have said be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal x

Rest in peace Rose.

You sound like wonderful parents. I hope your sunshine DD will help you get through this.

I know there are (sadly) many angel babies who will be keeping your Rose company tonight. My Gabrielle included.

Take photos, hand prints, footprints, hair, everything you need to make memories. There is a group on facebook called little things who can make her some clothes.

www.facebook.com/LittleThingsangelclothes?fref=nf

Sending you and your little Rose lots of hugs. Thinking of you tonight.

My best friend's daughter was stillborn at 31 weeks. She treasures the hundreds of photos she took in the hours they had together, along with hand and foot casts.

Bless you all. Rose, what a beautiful name x