Still waiting

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

Found out baby is measuring 3 weeks behind on Thursday. Should have been 9 weeks. Waiting to miscarry. This is torture.

definitely! do you work? have you been going in if so?

its funny how easy it is to forget when you are busy. i really feel lots better after the 'period' thing you said too. i dont know if you ventured onto the practicalities of mc board but some of the worst cases i read on there scared me so bad.

I do work- 3 days a week.
I think for me the most comforting thought is that this wouldn't have been a baby. It was inevitable.
I remember the month before we conceived dd, I was really disappointed when my period can't. But of course looking back, it couldn't possibly have gone any other way because if we conceived that month, I wouldn't have dd, I would have some other baby. That would be wrong! She is my baby, it couldn't possibly have gone any other way. So I'm trying to see this like that month and like that period. When I've got my baby in future, that will be my baby. I know I'll feel that this had to go wrong because if it hadn't I wouldn't have that baby.
Does that make sense? in not one of those 'meant to be' people, but in hindsight, it always seems that things worked out right. It's hard to articulate it all now because it's all hypothetical. But I find it a helpful way to think about it.

I'm scared of it starting at work too. I've been off the last week. My colleagues are lovely and will be fine if I'm off more. But I don't know if I can just be off work until this happens when it could be weeks from now. I think I'll go for medical management if nothing has happened by this time next week.
Fingers crossed it will be over for us both soon and then we can keep each other going through ttc too.

i just keep thinking its already been 6 weeks it surely cnt be much longer. people think that once you have accepted it it comes quickly too. i feel like i have and sounds like u have too so hopefully dont have long to wait.

i understand completely what youre saying, its lovely to hear you also have a dd. i do believe a bit in 'fate' so to speak although this is bloody cruel but i bet theyre is a reason it happened.

when i found out i was pregnant i had literally jus moved in with my dp after 2 1/2 years together and of me pestering him. bless him! we have moved into the tiniest 1 bedroom flat ever and cant fit ourselves in never mind another one ha plus were renting from family would have been awkward saying we would have to move so soon.

i almost very very nearly traded my 5 door focus in for a 3 door yaris in the summer and remember being very peed off cos that garage i had gone to kept fobbing me off. now i think thank god i didnt get rid of my big family car haha.

yeah the ttc will be fun! we will have to egg each other on. i cnt wait either cos of the bleeding and now whats coming tmi but we have barely dtd lately. cnt wait to be back to normal and 'close' again.

just to add make sure you take all the time that you need. its helpful that your colleagues know at least they can show ypu some support in rl should you need it when you are back at work.

i would take it easy if you can though. are you able to work from home at all? thats something ive thought about approaching with my bosses if i get too bored ha.

How are you doing ginger?

just the same. starting to think its not going to happen on its own. weird really as i have totally given up on being pregnant now.

how about you? hope you are having a nice relaxing weekend (as nice as can be)

A bit of pink spotting but nothing much. Don't know how to proceed really. Crap isn't it?

yeah it really is. whod have thought it would take our bodies so long to let go.

i keep thinking of all the old wifes tales to bring on labour and considering seeing if any of them help.

hope you are ok.

This waiting is horrible. I'm scared it will happen while I'm on my own tomorrow. Or worse, when I'm looking after dd on my own. If dh isn't around, I have literally no one locally I can call for help.

I've decided to book an erpc for the end of this week so I have a deadline. Going to ring up and hopefully book tomorrow. Fingers crossed they will be able to schedule it.

i will keep my fingers crossed. it may be better to have an end in sight. if you are on ur own and want support come on here i will keep on checking. my dp is at work ill wednesday too so think ill probs be in same boat.

i think i might be able to get on with it better on my own tbh and grieve in private but ive never been through it before so i could be totally misguided there.

well ob my old wifes tales mission me and dp dtd and now i have some blood like a light period so hoping things have started.

Hello I am from the June 15 thread too. So sad to see so many of us here. I have sort of had the opposite experience to you in that I had been bleeding on and off since 6w. Early scan was ok so I had kept hoping. But at 9w I had cramping which turned into contractions and have now miscarried for certain. The waiting and not knowing was so awful and I really feel for you in this situation now.

I hope it comes naturally and is not too traumatic.

I am in hospital now as they admitted me for signs of infection and low BP. They said they will scan me in the morning to see if everything has passed. The advantage of being here is that they were able to confirm the sac has passed so that's something.

I hope we are all in a position to start ttc again soon. Love to you all.

Big hugs MsJ. Keep in touch. The ttc after mc thread is full of absolutely wonderful people.

aw msjupiter i am so sorry that is so sad. it must be so difficult when you thought everything was ok. you poor thing.

glad you feel comfortable in hospital and hopefully you are being well looked after.

hope you are on the mend soon and will keep my fingers crossed for you if you are ttc again. i still krep grtting moments of disbelief about mc you just think when you get pregnant you have a baby dont you but it is so surprsing how many people go through these hard times.

you can take some comfort from that aswel though i think, its a bit funny when it happens to you how many people you discover whp have experienced similar and they are happy and parents now. just a nice thought to push us on.

Thank you yes they have been brilliant. So kind. One nurse even talked to me about her mc before she'd had her son. I am so glad and lucky to have my DS. Can't wait to get home to him. I meant to say what Guy said about her DD really resonated with me as we waited a long time for DS and I have thought in the past, how strange to think of all those months of disappointment but they wouldn't have been him. It is slightly different now as this pregnancy will always be a part of me but I hope there will be a happy healthy baby just waiting to be conceived, carried and born safely.

I will be thinking of you in the coming days and hopefully we will all have some happiness on the way.

Thinking of you all. Slept terribly last night, nightmares about the whole experience. Nothing happening for me bar waiting.
Have spoken to a few people in real life yesterday who have been great but set me off crying again. My baby sister was fab (which was a nice surprise as usually she's very flaky) and a male friend who has just been through a late miscarriage with his wife. He just told me he was there at any point if DH & I needed to talk and that we will get through it all.
MIL is here to distract me today so she's taking me Christmas shopping in a local market town... Frankly I'd rather stay in bed but she means well so I'll make an effort.

definitely have a trip out, acts as a good distraction if nothing else.

Nightmares are awful maybe its your minds way of preparing you though.

cry as much as you want, we of all people are definitely allowed to cry!

hope you are feeling better today jupiter and thank you.

Had some more spotting overnight but it has eased up now. Is this ever going to actually happen? So frustrating.

guy you and i seem to be experiencing exactly the same thing. i also had some blood yesterday then eased up then some spotting today but nothing else.

i read on a thread somewhere that someone thought if it was long and drawn out when it actually happens its not as bad. i so hope that is true for both our sakes.

I'm struggling today. When I see a bit of blood, I actually feel a bit positive as I think this might finally be it and then it will be over soon and everything will be ok. Then it stops and I feel like I'm right back where I started and it's going to go on forever. I can't cope. Think I might just schedule in medical management asap. This is too hard.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. The uncertainty and waiting is really too much to bear. However awful this weekend has been, there is a certain relief in not worrying any more so I do understand how it feels. I am keeping my fingers xed that it will soon be over for you and you will be feeling the same relief.

I am home from hospital, no signs of infection and all contents of uterus seem to have passed. So glad to be home.

glad you are home jupiter hope you are being looked after.

guy when u had blood yesterday i actually ran to my dp with a grin on my face saying i think its happening then nothing.

if you can stick it out you should try. just reading another thread where someone was due rescan today but miscarried at home this morning, the midwife told her that was the best possible option. also from what was discussed at my scan it does sound like the safest altho complete mental torure.

i am coping by classing myself as not pregnant anymore which seems to be helping. thinking of you both.

Phew. Have had appointment with consultant through private healthcare. She is scheduling me for erpc on either Thursday or Friday. I'm scared but so relieved that there is an end in sight. Still hoping it might happen on its own in the next couple of days but if not, at least this won't be prolonged further than necessary.

Hope you are doing ok ginger. I'm just so up and down at the moment- I would imagine you are feeling the same.

yeah i am going to sound so dramatic when i say this and i know its not actually that bad but god i feel like my world has ended today.

nothing has happened physically just going through the motions i guess. i need to cry but i need to do it alone i think, feel like no one understands and if i cry around them they think im being a drama queen and just say the wrong thing anyway. i know theyre probably isnt any right things to say in all fairness.

keeps squewing my thoughts too oh gosh hurry up and be over.

glad you have got your appointment sorted i bet that is a release in a way? at least you know it should all be over saturday at the latest. i cnt believe we keep getting blood then nothing ( i wont be sayig that when it happens i bet) hope youre ok

not that i am trying to tell you how to think or whatever and i know my trail of thinking is a bit random at times but when i assumed i would need medical management or erpc and i was scared but i kept thinking to myself childbirth would have been worse!

Big hugs. The horrible thing is feeling alone I think. Your dp has had a loss too but he won't experience it in the same way as you.

But your not alone. I'm here.

I go from ok to world-is-collapsing and back again in the space of minutes. It's so difficult to emotionally come to terms with something which hasn't actually happened yet. But it has really. We know it's over so I guess we are coming to terms with it. It won't be long before this is just a horrible thing that happened to us- but it will be past tense. And we'll get pregnant again and have babies: babies which wouldn't even have existed if these pregnancies hasn't been lost. We really won't be able to imagine it any other way. And everything will be right. Honest.
More hugs.