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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

990 replies

bakingtins · 02/08/2014 10:39

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
bootles · 06/08/2014 19:57

charlie i am so sorry that you have to go through this at all. I hope my description of the medical route didnt add to your anxiety. That wasn't my intention. Hospitals obviously do things v differently - there is no admission at mine for medical management, you just take the meds in front of them and go home for the rest.

Just the fact of it is hard enough, without all the hassle of working out how to manage it. For what its worth, it sounds like an erpc with GA is a good option for you. Totally normal to be nervous about it, but it really is a quick and simple procedure. Personally I felt physically fine afterwards. Ask any specific questions about it - we must have had an awful lot of erpc's on here between us.

Sorry also that your husband is away. I hope you have good support near by. Hoping friday comes and goes quickly for you xx

Catlover2014 · 06/08/2014 19:59

Chicken soup and an early night can do wonders charlie. Take a long bath if you can too.

Sorry we can't physically be there with you but know we are all here anytime you want to talk.

I don't know if you're Christian but I will say a few words to the big man in the sky for you and your DH anyway!

Big hugs xxx

bootles · 06/08/2014 20:04

Hi cat how did the planting of the rose bush go? How are you doing today?

Catlover2014 · 06/08/2014 20:10

Hi Bootles it was lovely thank you and I am feeling much better now the date is behind me. I think it was good to Mark the event too. How are you doing?

longest just noticed you have a due date and anniversary too. Sounds like you're being really strong. Well done for holding it together. Fingers crossed this time next year you'll be holding a new baby in your arms!!!

Day 23 for me ladies, 4 days until I test. Few symptoms but trying not to get my hopes up!

XXX

bootles · 06/08/2014 22:24

Hey cat am ok thanks. Bleeding nearly stopped now. Seems like have been having scans forever..one this week showed this mc nearly over. Glad you are feeling better now the day is passed. Oh the awfulness of symptom spotting and the days waiting to test. Hang in there! So you usually test day 27? That's good..i am a compulsive early tester, buy cheapo tests by the bucketload online..what about everyone else?

triple if you are reading, hope you are ok x

JBrd · 06/08/2014 23:25

It has literally just occured to me that I completely forgot about the EDD of my first mc, which would have been July 31. Is that a good or a bad sign? Sad
I've been at this for too long now...

tannyLoo · 07/08/2014 04:24

Normal thing to happen if you ask me, JBrd, I can't keep all the dates in my head, so remember the months, but only just. I know I had one in June and one in July, and I have another one in August and October. The one in august is from my termination when I was young, and for years it was a really big deal.

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 06:53

First due date is Christmas day... Second around Feb, then June, then June again and then next October...

This time I haven't even checked but I think it will be April...

Original poster
bakingtins · 07/08/2014 07:15

jbrd you get to a point where you can't hold them all in your head, you'd spend too much of the year being sad. When I had my first MC the anniversary and EDD were v significant for several years afterwards, for the rest I've marked the EDD first year but then let them slip. If it helps you to remember that's fine, if it slips past without you noticing that's fine too. Deal with it however the hell you like!

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 07/08/2014 07:16

Hugs to you all ladies with your due dates (tiny how hard for your to fall at Christmas). My next is November but I don't know the exact date as I wouldn't allow myself to remember it.

*Bootles I'm glad the bleeding is slowing. You've been through such a lot. Are you taking a break before ttc?

I never test until day 27 as they are often negative and after five years off ttc more BFN is the last thing I need lol.

XxX

tannyLoo · 07/08/2014 09:51

Oh dear, I've got people's backs up on another thread. Ffs.

Maybe I've just been hanging around for too long...

How is everyone this morning? I think we haven't heard from Triple because she's away, I hope so anyway.

I'm beating myself up about being a lazy slob, and just feeling a bit blue. I shouldn't read Dr Google at 4am, it turns you into a card carrying fruitcake. Blush

longestlurkerever · 07/08/2014 10:06

I have my fingers crossed for you cat! Would love this to be your month.

Tbh I only really remembered the anniversary and due date because it was in the week of dd's birthday. Mc1 happened her birthday weekend but it was a chemical pregnancy and I got over it quickly. It has only gained prominence as it has become a marker in my head for the beginning of a horrible pattern. Then the due date for mc2 was around her birthday too so I remembered that but I don't want to turn this week into a sad time of year. The due date for mc3 was around Valentine's day but I deliberately didn't work out the exact date. Still gave me a pang when my friendships her edd was Feb 15 though!

I hope everything goes ok for you Charlie. How rubbish that your dh is away. I hope that gives you the opportunity to do some things for just you. Are you taking some time off work? I took a couple of days off each time and it really helped to have the space to cry.

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 10:12

Yay I love my GP.
I have in my grubby little mitts a prescription for more cyclogest, he will book me a scan for when I am 5+4 to 6w and the no issues with giving me the clexane once the scan show all in the right place...

Also going for thyroid bloods later today.

tannyLoo · 07/08/2014 10:19

I love your GP too! Great news x

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 10:21

Oh no Tanny, what did you say?

tannyLoo · 07/08/2014 10:34

I suggested to someone that they say they were spotting to get a scan. They have a complete drop off of symptoms, and had been desperately worried that it was a MMC, but didn't have any bleeding and so wouldn't get seen.

Someone thought I was advocating people lying just to get an early peek, and I got all upset about it.

I've had such a fight on my hands to get this far, and I think it's made me a bit bullish. Sad

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 10:46

I see! Do they have MC history?
if they have previous mcs i am ok with it... but i guess if it's a normal one I am on the fence

tannyLoo · 07/08/2014 12:53

I know, it's not at all cut and dried, but I'm tired and feeling vulnerable so it got to me Sad

I probably ought to rest a bit and give everyone a break!

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 12:57

Don't worry, i know the feeling, you were just trying to help and they jumped on you...

charlieis30 · 07/08/2014 16:33

Afternoon team. Have spent days on the phone with DH, mum who lives abroad, and hospital trying to work out how to get ERPC. Didn't know I'd need someone with me for 24h after the general anesthetic to make sure I don't go loopy or whatever. Literally can't cry anymore, no tears come out. Didn't even know it was possible to run out.
On the + side everything seems to be worked out, DH will stay until 24h later then go on his business trip. SO I'll be alone but afterwards, and I have friends who can come over in the evenings if I need (just not stay the 24h). Also nurse said we can pay to have the embryo genetically tested privately, which I am SO doing. I want to know what went wrong. I know it won't necessarily help for next time, but it's information.

Justonemoretime · 07/08/2014 17:01

Charlie, I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time. The reason for the 24 hour care after a GA is in case you have an allergic reaction later or pass out etc. Hope you get sorted and comfortable soon. When is your DH back? Would his work not let him come home early on compassionate grounds? It will get better, I promise, but I would seriously look into getting some counselling in due course as you sound wrung out (totally understandably) and might benefit from someone helping you put yourself back together again. ((Hugs))
Good for the hospital for letting you pay for genetic testing. I was totally fobbed off after mc 2 and I would have paid, but was told that they didn't have the right container. Bull Shit. I wish I had pushed it (in my backless gown - I would have been a force to be reckoned with!) I hope you get some useful answers. Be prepared for having to sign a parental consent form before they do the prep for the op. It makes sense, but weirded me out a bit when I had to sign it for my third, who had Turner Syndrome.

Tanny, hope you're OK. I've run on down to the epu for a piece of toilet paper that looked slightly pinkish in soft lighting, so I am sure that people go for all sorts of reasons. I think your suggestion is totally fine, and it's a known fact that reassurance scans help. It sounds like you've touched a nerve in a conversation where everyone is nervous. Also, the Internet does rather take the nuance out of our intended meaning sometimes. Try not to worry about it too much and look after yourself.

Waves to everyone. xx

Triplespin · 07/08/2014 17:46

Hi everyone

Sorry for disappearing act but I was on holiday. Firstly congrats to tanny and tiny !!! Great news.

I haven't caught up with everyone's news and haven't been following up because I am still not over this failed attempt. I haven't miscarried naturally so far and now thinking of goof for an erpc this time. But also scared about risks from erpc and therefore hesitant.

Also is there any benefit from seeing the Coventry team given that I was on similar plan of clexane, progesterone and steroids (in fact higher levels) than them?

Hello to newbies and so sorry you find yourself here.

TinyTear · 07/08/2014 17:57

I always preferred the erpc... Cleaner closure...

I didn't need someone with me 24h. I had them weds morning and Thurs stayed in and my husband went to work. I just had to have someone with me overnight...

sparklingharbour · 07/08/2014 18:17

Hi, I used post months ago using the name donttrythisathome. I just want to add a positive story and say I am nearly 37 weeks pregnant now with DD2.

I tested positive for NK cells with Shehata at Epsom Hospital (was referred to him on the NHS), and after prednislone and progesterone I stayed pregnant after 3 previous miscarriages. i didn't take the aspirin for the unscientific and irrational reason that bakingtins consultant told her not to, so I just copied! Well she was staying pregnant.

Thanks to everyone for the advice, and good luck to everyone too.

longestlurkerever · 07/08/2014 19:40

Thanks for posting sparkling. Great news about your pregnancy!

Triple Good to hear from you but sorry you are still feeling down. I am not sure what to suggest. Would it help just knowing the answer to the nk cells question? Do you have any product results from your last mc?

Tanny Sorry everyone turned on you. Is a bit random that bleeding is the one thing that can trigger a scan when at the same time the midwives say bleeding is totally normal and not to worry. I think at the Whittington hospital you can just turn up and have a scan, at least if you have had a previous mc- they told me I could self- refer. Might be there every day if I get pregnant again!