I had my 20 week scan today, although I'm actually 21+1, and there was no heartbeat. The baby is measuring 16 weeks so has been dead for some time. We're devastated, we have a 21 month old DS but this was a much wanted 2nd pregnancy. I've been worried that something was wrong - my bump felt softer than last time, I've been feeling really well since 14 weeks which was not the case last time, then I've had a tiny bit of spotting after sex this weekend, but had convinced myself it was nothing and just usual pregnancy jitters.
I have to go in tomorrow for a tablet, then on Friday for induction with pessaries. I just wondered, has anyone else been through this? I'm worried about the pain (I had a CS last time as DS was breech so nothing to compare with) - the thought of painful labour & no baby at the end is awful. Will I be able to see the baby? Should I, if it died 5 weeks ago? Will it even look like a baby, or will it upset me more? What happens to the baby afterwards? - I hate the thought of them being treated as clinical waste when they were a real little person, if only for a few months.
I'm feeling quite numb at the moment, just want the next few days to be over so we can start to come to terms with what happened. Obviously don't know the baby's sex, but somehow I had it in my head that it was a girl, and if it was we were going to call her Lucy. I'd started to picture a little female version of DS, and can't get my head around the fact that she (or he) has been dead inside me for over a month. :-(