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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Miscarriage at 11 weeks

28 replies

dg1 · 31/08/2006 21:49

I lost my baby 4 days ago at 11 weeks and desperately want to fastforward the next few months til I stop bleeding, get my normal cycle back and can try again. I am managing a great face of acceptance for everyone who knows but in my own head I am in pieces.

OP posts:
StinkyPete · 31/08/2006 21:51

so sorry to hear that dg1. you'll find loads of us on here have had m/c, not that that makes it any easier. you can off load here if need be.
could say lots of usual, but tbh nothing helps initially anyway.

Beauregard · 31/08/2006 21:53

sorry for you

Original poster
dg1 · 31/08/2006 22:05

Thanks for such a quick repsonse, I need to see that people can come through the other side of miscarriage, it just seems impossible now. xx

OP posts:
PanicPants · 31/08/2006 22:08

It's cr**y isn't it? Especially at 11 weeks when you're just starting to feel settled.

I had my last m/c 6 weeks before I conceived ds. So there is hope after m/c.

jeddah · 31/08/2006 22:23

dg1

11 weeks!!!!!!!.......life is so unkind.

I had my 3rd miscarriage 2 weeks ago. I had got to 10 weeks but the baby died at 8-9 weeks. I was having weekly scans as I had a history or 2 previous miscarriages (all 3 were within a year!)

They found a heart beat at 6, 7 and 8 weeks. It was the biggest shock ever! We really though we had made it this time as my others were at 5 and 6 weeks.

Anyway 2 weeks on after my D+C and I have just finished bleeding, I too can not wait to try again after waiting for a normal period.

You WILL do it again! How long did it take you to get pregnant?

It is true what they say.....time does heal....be good to yourselves. Take care of eachother and above all stay positive cos it will happen!

Original poster
dg1 · 01/09/2006 09:57

Can anyone advise on physical recovery? I haven't had a D&C as the doctor seemed happy that all the tissue had come away naturally. Still bleeding 5 days on, but lightly. Some pain very like I'm constipated.
I really want to get back to doing lots of exercise so my evenings aren't spent nursing a large glass of wine but don't know if it's too soon. Any advice?

OP posts:
stretchmarks · 01/09/2006 10:03

HI

So sorry to hear about your loss. I also had a MC at 11 weeks a fortnight ago although it was a missed MC so I had an ERPC last week. My bleeding lasted a week, from what I have read the bleeding can last upto 2 weeks. I don't see any reason why you can't start exercising again - The only information I've seen is that you should avoid swimming until you have stopped bleeding. Just listen to your body and do what you are comfortable with.

StinkyPete · 01/09/2006 11:00

mine was confirmed at 10 weeks and i took 2 weeks to stop bleeding (also didn't have a d+c).
i'm sure a little light exercise should be fine - take your mind off things for a bit etc.
i took ages to conceive again (m/c july 04- pg again may05). for me; i think i concentrated on getting over the physcial at first and the emotional caught up with me after about 4,5 months. i wish i'd talked about it more, but only my dh was supportive - mum adn mil said really insensitive things and i never talked to them about it again. i eventually broke down at work in the nov when someone said something nice (and totally unrelated) to me...

clumsy · 01/09/2006 15:59

hey i'm 4 weeks from m/c had mine 4th aug just before 12 weeks it will take time but it does get easier bleeding took 2 weeks but was ready to try again. the closeness side helped both of us to come to terms slowly with what had happened. try and keep smiling on the inside x

CarlyP · 02/09/2006 19:38

so sorry for you dg1. i had a m/c in march, would be due this month. its still upsetting, but it does get easier and your cycles will be back to normal soon.

take some time and allow yourself to grieve.

cx

KES3 · 02/09/2006 23:01

Sorry to hear about your m/c. I had two before I had my dd (now 8 months old), the first was a missed m/c and I found out at 10 weeks, ended up having two ERPCs and bled for around 6 or 7 weeks due to infections. Second one was natural and only bled for around a week or so. I know its devastating and a complete shock, you don't expect it to happen to you. But give yourself time to come to terms with it and it will get easier.

Northerner · 02/09/2006 23:25

Sorry to hear your news. I miscarried at 9 weeks in April and it's shit. It's early days for you and I promise it does get better. It never goes away but it does get better. There will come a time when you can talk about it without sobbing, but then there will be times when something will catch you unaware and you'll feel desperatley sad again about what might have been.

Be good to yourself

milward · 02/09/2006 23:34

So sorry for you dg1 xxx

Be kind to yourself and just take things easy

I had a m/c & it was a very difficult and sad time - give yourself the space to grieve.

eemie · 03/09/2006 00:08

Sorry for your loss. If I had to go through it all over again I wouldn't try to force myself to get over it quickly. I was desperate to get pregnant again (I was already 40) and feared that grief would act like a contraceptive. In retrospect I think it would have been better to be honest with myself, close family and friends about how I felt.

I did go on to have a healthy child (as most people do after miscarriage - I'm sure you already know) and I hope and trust that you will too.

themoon66 · 03/09/2006 00:28

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and no D&C. I think the bleeding went on for nearly three weeks in total. Along with constipation type pain. That was April time. I got pregnant again in the November the same year and all was well... although I was a bag of nerves... inspecting the inside of my knickers every time I went to the loo etc... being aware of every twinge... you know what I mean?

Original poster
dg1 · 03/09/2006 18:53

Thanks so much to everyone for all positive experiences... now one week on and I am keeping it together (very lucky to have 18 month ds who it's impossible to be miserable around). Saw lots of heavily pregnant women / small babies out and about today and it makes me feel so sad. The hard bit now is getting through all the date milestones I worked out in my head before the m/c.

OP posts:
StinkyPete · 03/09/2006 22:18

it's like when you get a red car and suddenly every car you see is red - suddenly everyone is pg . like others have said - you can't rush it, you've just got to grieve your loss in the time it takes.
xxx

milward · 04/09/2006 22:16

Know what you mean about preg mums everywhere - when I got preg again I actually felt worried that I could be upsetting someone. It was happy for them but really sad for myself - iyswim

Hope you're ok xxx

1Baby1Bump · 04/09/2006 22:24

so sorry dg1.
i lost my first baby at 11 weeks. it started on an aeroplane back from a dream caribbean holiday.
it made us feel even more helpless being 30 thou feet in the air.
ikwym about wanting to move on so quickly. it's really frustrating waiting until you can try again.
trying again straight away was right for us. doc said wait for one normal cycle but i decided if my body was ready, i would fall, if it wasn't, i wouldnt.
you will be okay and you will never forget that little one.
also, dont forget your dp/dh. i didnt realise how upset dh was till quite a while afterwards
when i suggested moving house a couple of times and he kept saying no, i found out eventually it was because he doesnt want to leave the tree we planted in lo's memory.

1Baby1Bump · 04/09/2006 22:26

bless him. you think you know someone. we had been together 5 years at that point and it was only then i realised how sensitive he is.

bramblina · 04/09/2006 22:27

Hi dg1, I'm really sorry.
I had mcs at 14,11,6&5 weeks and only the first one I chose to encourage with the drug & pessary thing was the first one, it did encourage it to pass quicker than the rest, so once the bleeding slowed right down it did seem to be passing whereas with the rest it could hault and start a few times. Ditto with the hormones, but just go with whatever you feel you want to. Time really is a good healer but I know it's easy for me to say. In a few months you will look back and feel a lot better.
Take care.x

CarolinaMoon · 04/09/2006 22:27

I'm sorry for your loss dg1.

I had a mc in June - I found out at a routine dating scan at 9 weeks and started bleeding two weeks later. It took another two weeks for the bleeding to finally stop.

I would take it easy if you're still bleeding - I'm sure running round after my ds increased the bleeding and I felt pretty anaemic after a week of it. I certainly couldn't have got myself down to the gym .

At the time I just wanted to get on with starting another pg as soon as possible, but as time passes I'm feeling less enthusiastic about it. I'm appreciating just feeling normal and unhormonal iykwim after the mc bleeding and the first period after it. We've decided to wait until after Christmas and atm that feels right.

honeybee10 · 21/09/2006 13:54

So sorry to hear of your loss. You won't ever forget your little one. But it does get easier. I have had 2 mcs. Ist one at 16 weeks (my 1st pregnancy.) I was desperate to get pregnant again. I think I dealt with it by talking to everyone who would listen!! It took me a long time to get over it (This was eight years ago) and it wasn't until the ist anniversary of the mc that I felt I had turned a page and could get on with my life. I had been trying to get pregnant again almost straight away with no success. The month after the 1st anniversary I was pregnant. I believe now that I wasn't ready 'in my head' to be pregnant again before this. I now have 2 happy and healthy kids, but seem to need two attempts to get a baby as i had a second early mc in between my 2 kids.
Its hard to think now that if i hadn't have lost my first baby i wouldn't have the 2 kids i have now.Take time for yourself and let people look after you and know how you are feeling

Crews83 · 12/01/2011 17:49

I found out today I had a missed mc at 11 weeks, just 2 days off 12 weeks. I really want to try again once the bleeding has stopped but concerned this will happen all over again. How many of you have gone on to have a healthy baby after a mc? And how did u deal with the anxiouness of it happening again? X

LKM1 · 21/02/2017 14:57

Hi. I was 11+4. Had some light pink spotting 2 days ago, no pain and had an early scan this morning to be sure, It stopped growing at 7 weeks. I only found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, what was the point! I feel so pissed off, upset, angry, guilty. Sad that I can't give my husband the baby we have tried so many years for. And angry that my stupid body hasn't realised it died over 4 weeks ago, and showing no signs of it leaving my body. I still gag at smells and my boobs still sore. Wish it would just get out now, repulsed in a strange way that it is still in me. Scared of the physical and emotional pain I will feel losing something I so badly wanted. Sigh.