When will it happen?

[BlackeyedPetitsPois]

Went for 12 week scan yesterday. Was told no heartbeat and they think baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. Absolute shock as I've had no indications anything was wrong; no pains, no bleeding. Nothing. They say it's a delayed miscarriage.

So if they think it it stopped growing 4 weeks ago, why hasn't anything happened?

I've decided to wait another week to see if nature takes it's course, then if nothing by next Tuesday I will go in for an internal scan, then possibly medical intervention (tablets maybe).

I'm just worried as to why nothing has happened, am I at risk of infection?

Sorry for disjointed post, my head is all over the place and I can't stopped crying.

I'm so sorry.

I've had two missed miscarriages (MMC) and like you had had no indication anything was wrong - I thought you always started to bleed if you had a miscarriage. Unfortunately it seems that your body doesn't always recognise that anything has gone wrong and carries on as normal. I don't know the percentages but a lot of MC's are MMC's so it is "normal" for nothing to have happened yet so please don't worry about infection.

I don't know how long you will need to wait as I chose an ERPC after both mine but it doesn't sound like you want to go down that route. (It's a very personal decision so there's no right and wrong). There are other threads that talk a bit more about what to expect once it does start.

Also please don't be concerned that this is likely to happen to you again - it's unlikely but for obvious reasons the women on this forum are more likely to have had more than one MC.

It's a very tough time.

x

I'm very sorry for your loss BPP missed miscarriage is very cruel. It's not uncommon for the baby to stay in place for several weeks after it has died and for the woman to be none the wiser. As your cervix is still closed you are not at risk of infection at the moment or by waiting for it to happen naturally, though it can be emotionally difficult. I do think sometimes once your mind has accepted the loss your body can begin the process, but it's a good idea to have a back up plan and a date by which you will choose medical or surgical intervention if nothing happens.
The Miscarriage Association website has lots of info on your options, and it's worth reading the "tips for coping" thread on this board which I will bump up for you.
Be very kind to yourself, it's a horrible shock. keep posting if it helps.

(Sorry for delay coming back to thread - I was putting DD to bed)

Thank you both very much for your kind words. I'm so sorry for you loss Forester. I too thought you had to start bleeding immediately to miscarry. I feel very numb and like I've failed. IYSWIM.

I will check out the Miscarriage Association website, hopefully it will answer the million questions that are starting to pop up in my head as I try and accept this.

I have a very supportive DH who, like me, is devastated. It's just the waiting now. I hope I can do this.

Thank you again. X

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I also had a MMC in january and was told that I could go away and wait for nature but unfortunately there is no way of knowing when you will physically miscarry as once the placenta starts to work (making hgc) your body takes longer to notice that the baby stopped growing so it can take weeks. ( i was 10 weeks )
For me I made the decision to opt for the medical management. Like others have said it is a very personal choice and you should do what feels right for you. My reasoning.. I accepted baby had died but didnt want to go home wondering when it was going to happen but at the same time surgery for me would be the last option.
Keep posting if u need support through this and just know ur not alone (sending hugs) ??

I've also just been putting DD to bed.

When it happened to me the first time part of me wondered why I'd never been told that this could happen as with each week of pg that went past the more I understood that everything should be fine. But overall there is so much to worry about in pg that I think it's best that generally people aren't aware that MMC's can happen as thankfully most people don't ever have to experience it.

Please don't think that you've failed - there was nothing that you could have done. And I'm glad that you've got support in rl.

Take care x