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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Anyone else enduring the horrendous wait between scans?

37 replies

DreamRabbit · 14/06/2013 11:50

Be nice if we could hold each others hands, so to speak.

I found out on Sunday at a private scan that my baby was only measuring 6+2, and no heartbeat, when it should have been 8+5. My local epu rescanned me on Monday, and dated me even earlier. My second scan is next Thursday at 9.20, and I'm hoping that I can have an ERPC the same day. I am certain of my dates, so I'm not holding out any hope for my poor baby.

This would have been my first, and me and my partner are both absolutely devastated. I am terrified that I will have a natural miscarriage before Thursday - I'm not sure I could bear it. Sad

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Tomkat79 · 14/06/2013 12:16

Hi dreamrabbit. So so sorry you are going through this.

I went through the same as you in may but only had 48 hours to wait until second scan and then another 48 hours wait to ERPC. Started to MC naturally on day of procedure but didn't pass everything so they went ahead with it.

The limbo time is just the worse. Hold on tight to your DH and you will get through this in time.

Lots of love x

DreamRabbit · 14/06/2013 12:42

Thank you, tomkat, and so sorry for your loss Sad x

It seems so cruel to have to wait ten days between scans, but they said it was protocol because baby was so small - I guess I'd rather be sure they haven't made a mistake, but it's not much comfort! I just want it over with.

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Bakingtins · 14/06/2013 13:27

Hi Dreamrabbit - I'll hold your hand, it's an awful time. I've just been through 2 weeks of limbo with baby measuring 2-3 weeks behind my dates - no HB and measuring 5+ weeks when should have been 7+4, but then developed a heartbeat by a week later and measured 6 weeks so they wouldn't do anything, then I started to bleed and it had not grown (supposed to grow a mm a day at that stage) but still had weak HB, so I was booked in for scan 4 in yet another week, but I miscarried in the meantime.
I can understand why they have this protocol, but I felt like nobody was taking any notice of my dates which I was certain about, I'd even had a midcycle scan just as I was about to ovulate, and it ended up that I'd been scanned by 6 different doctors/sonographers, all of whom agreed the pregnancy was not going anywhere, none of whom would do anything to end the limbo.
It's very hard emotionally and in the end I felt enormous relief that it was over. It may be worth phoning and seeing if you can bring the second scan forward and if they'll provisionally book you a slot for ERPC on the day if that's your preference - I was told a week between scans was standard protocol. Your mental and emotional health should also be a consideration.

DreamRabbit · 14/06/2013 14:18

Thank you, bakingtins, I'm so sorry for your loss - sounds like you had a dreadful time of it. Life can be so cruel. Hope you are doing as well as can expected. x

The nurse booked in me in early for my second scan so that there'd be time to sort things out if there was bad news... but she wouldn't discuss any of the options with me because the outcome wasn't certain! I think the worst thing is that I can't help but hope for a miracle outcome - even though I know my little one is dead. I don't think I could make myself have an earlier scan, in case there'd always be a 'what if I'd left it a few days longer' in my mind. It's so, so crap.

It's so hard when you're certain of your dates, isn't it? I'm certain too - I'm fairly regular, and I was using OPKs - but I must have been asked if I was sure of my dates about five times in ten minutes. They're lucky I didn't scream!

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EuroShaggleton · 14/06/2013 14:24

Sorry you are going through this. The limbo was the worst bit for me. I almost felt relief when it was confirmed to be all over.

BTW, I miscarried naturally (my choice as hospitals freak me out) and didn't find it too bad at all. I had one day where I wanted codeine (which I had never taken before) and that was it. I stayed in bed that day, the rest of the time I was well enough to work.

DreamRabbit · 14/06/2013 16:29

Thank you, euro, and so sorry that you went through this too. I am actually looking forward to it all being over, in a strange way - then I get on with grieving properly without worrying for my own health at the same time.

Thanks also for your reassuring words about miscarrying naturally. I know it won't be the end of the world if I do, but I have some extra fear about it not because of the emotional side but because I have fibroids and bleed very very heavily during periods, so I worry that I'd lose too much blood and have to call an ambulance. I guess no point in worrying though - if it happens, it happens, not much I can do about it.

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FizzyFeet · 14/06/2013 16:42

Hi dream rabbit, so sorry you are having to go through this - it's awful. Last week I was in a similar position with multiple scans etc - mine turned out to be ectopic. The waiting is horrible - you almost go into "double think" mode, where your head tells you it's over but your heart is clinging on to a bit of hope. You may have seen it already, but there is a v useful thread on here about dealing with the practicalities - lots of info in the first post if you don't fancy reading all the replies. Thinking of you x

cosmickitten · 14/06/2013 19:17

dreamrabbit I'm so sorry you are going through this. The waiting must torture. Thinking if you x

hypnotisingchickens · 14/06/2013 19:33

Hi dream rabbit, so sorry you're going through this. I'm in a really similar position - first scan in Weds and should have been 6+5 (certain of my dates) but actually measuring 4-5 weeks with only a yolk sac. Have to go back on Thursday for another look but I'm so sure of my dates that I just want it all to be over. This will be my second MC in a row, so I know what's coming, but it's rubbish all the same. Holding out a shaky hand for you to hold.

DreamRabbit · 15/06/2013 23:03

Thank you so much, fizzy, have taken a look at that thread and it's very helpful. So sorry you went through this too x

Thank you, cosmic x

Oh, hypnotising, it's so shit, isn't it? I'm so sorry for your losses Sad Let's hope time goes fast and we can get Thursday over with. Thinking of you x

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50degreesintheshade · 16/06/2013 10:32

I have my second scan tomorrow and it has been the longest 7 days of my life. I don't hold out much hope as the sac at my last scan was tiny, empty and an odd shape apparently :-( Kept asking if my dates were wrong, but I know I am 7 weeks.
Thinking of you dream rabbit.

Tricycletops · 16/06/2013 21:46

DreamRabbit I could have written your post and I'm so sorry you're going through it too. We had a private scan on Wednesday night - should have been 9.5 weeks but measured less than 6. I'm also sure of my dates - for it to be a dating error I'd have to have conceived 2 weeks after my first positive test - and the waiting is hell. My sec

Tricycletops · 16/06/2013 21:47

Posted too soon!

My second scan's on Wednesday morning. Not sure how quickly I'll be able to have the ERPC after that.

Bakingtins · 16/06/2013 21:56

Sorry for all those going through this at the moment. The limbo is horrendous.

50degreesintheshade · 17/06/2013 04:24

It's 1.5 hours until my scan (I'm in the Middle East) and I'm feeling terrible, just want it to be over :-(

RainbowConnections · 17/06/2013 06:23

Sorry you're going through this terrible time 50degrees. Thinking of you this morning.

50degreesintheshade · 17/06/2013 07:07

Well it's all over. Not even an empty sac anymore, it's like everything has vanished :-(
I feel numb and just can't stop crying.

RainbowConnections · 17/06/2013 07:24

I'm so sorry. I hope you have someone taking care of you.

EuroShaggleton · 17/06/2013 07:33

OP, I'm in the same position- fibroids and heavy periods- and it really wasn't too bad. In fact on the 5th day of bleeding I was flying to the US for work meetings ( not ideal but doable). I took spatone to help replace lost iron as I have had low iron levels for years.

Hope you are doing ok.

Bakingtins · 17/06/2013 08:08

I'm sorry that it was bad news 50degrees Losing that last little shred of hope that you had got your dates wrong is hard. I hope you are being looked after. Cry as much as you want, you need to release all the stress you must have been feeling and start to grieve.

DreamRabbit · 17/06/2013 08:16

Oh, 50degrees, I'm so very sorry. Hope your family are looking after you. Sad

Tricycle, this is hell, isn't it? Am thinking of you.

Thanks, euro. I have started bleeding, so hopefully things won't be too awful - it is bearable so far.

Love to everyone x

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pizzaqueen · 17/06/2013 10:28

I'm going through 'the wait' just now too. So sorry to those who have had bad news, it is such a difficult time.

My second scan isn't until next Tuesday. On the scan we saw an empty sac but no embryo/heartbeat. I'm bleeding a little too. Not sure how much hope to hold into or to prepare for the worst. The waiting is terrible.

KS78 · 17/06/2013 11:09

We went for our 12 week scan last Thursday to find the baby stopped growing weeks ago. It was such a shock as I had such strong pregnancy symptoms. I started bleeding on Saturday but only a bit, now I'm just sitting around waiting. My second scan isn't until a week on Wednesday. We are supposed to be going on holiday in four weeks and I wonder if I should push for the op - but if we want to try again ASAP should I try and let it happen naturally. Is there a risk of scarring/infertility if I have the op? Just want it to be over now and am worried about the pain.

DreamRabbit · 17/06/2013 16:59

Pizza, so sorry you have to join this thread too Sad Is your baby a lot behind in dates or just a little? I'll have my fingers crossed for you!

KS, my sympathies. I wish none of us had to be on this thread! I can't answer your question, but the Miscarriage Association has some good, factual info - am on my phone so can't link, but just google and it'll come up. I think if I were you I'd have the op and get it all over with - at least, that's what I'm planning on doing if I haven't fully miscarried by my next scan.

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pizzaqueen · 17/06/2013 17:19

I thought us be around 9 weeks but they dated me 6+4, which is possible I suppose, just need to wait and see which is really hard.

Bleeding getting more pinker than brown now but still not lots of it. Clinging onto hope whilst preparing for bad news.

So sad anyone had to go through this .Hmm

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