Missed miscarriage limbo land..support/your stories please

[LittleMissSnowShine]

Hi all,

I should be 10 weeks pregnant but I went for my booking in scan y'day and me and DH were devestated to hear that baby had stopped developing at about 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat.

I have a 23 month old and although I had hyperemesis when I was pg with him I didn't have bleeding or anything. This time round I was crippled with nausea very early on and my friend who is an obstetrician sneaked me in for an early scan. I have irregular cycles and with DS I wasn't too sure of my dates but this time round it was very much planned and I knew when we had DTD etc and I'd seen some very faint implantation bleeding right before I got my BFP. So when I went for the early scan 3 weeks ago I knew I should have been just over 7 weeks but the baby was only measuring at 6+1 so I was a bit concerned but there was a nice clear heartbeat which was lovely to see.

3 or 4 days after that scan I started to bleed, but it was very light, no cramping, no clots or anything like that so hospital just told me to stay off my feet, be careful, take it easy etc and hopefully everything would be fine. This continued for about 10 days but never got heavier and I never got cramps, and then it pretty much stopped so I had convinced myself everything would be ok - my boobs are still really sore and I'm still crippled with morning sickness. I feel like I should have just gone into the early pregnancy unit for a scan but since I had already seen the heartbeat and I had one booked for y'day I just told myself to try and hope for the best and have faith that it would all work out.

But y'day...no heartbeat :( :( :(

I have to go back on Monday for a second ultrasound just to confirm and then they will probably give me tablets to move things along, but right now I'm just in limbo land. I'd already just about got a small bump and my hair is looking all huge and thick, and I'm still so queasy but I'm just waiting for the heavy bleeding to start.

I'm so sad this has happened and I'm worried that my irregular cycles might make it tricky to ttc again soon, and most of all I'm afraid that all this upset and upheaval is going to affect DS - he doesn't really understand what's happening obviously but he knows something is going on. My friends, family and work colleagues are all being so lovely and supportive but I just feel at a loss - I don't know what to be doing with myself, I'm trying to stay positive and keep my mind off it since I have no control over what has happened but then I feel guilty for trying to get on with things. And of course there's also a teeny tiny irrational part of me that won't give up all hope (even though there is no hope) until after my second scan to confirm things on Monday so that's making me feel really up and down too.

Has anyone else been through this? Or is going through this at the min? How on earth did you cope / are you coping?

Thanks for your advice / experience / expertise x

Sazza - glad ur doing ok and thank goodness u.mentioned gp cos i hd completely forgotten.hospital gave me a letter for gp! Because i work part time and my work was closed last week anyway i disnt.need a line so not sure whether i'll go see gp or just get on.with the unpacking so i can crack.on with ttc again...

Orange - good to hear how you're doing and glad you're feeling positive about ttc again. Im sure it will all work out and look forward to hearing a bfp announcement from casa wellies x

Really glad to hear everyone seems to be doing so well.

All is good here - bleeding has stopped and we have even DTD (although pretty sure I'm not ovulating yet). I am generally feeling fine but every now and again an unexpected phone call or comment will make me feel really sad and I am def more weepy than usual.

Totally agree with orange about the phrase "what a difference a week makes".

Hope your recoveries continue to go well
X

gah - just when i thought everything was back on track and i even had a neg preg test, i have started bleeding again today, after nothing for a week. prob need to go for a scan to check what is going on. Feel really sh*t about it as I was really starting to move on.

Hope everyone else has been having better recoveries. fidget did you have a final scan and was everything clear with you?

Hello - also in Limboland here, and would really appreciate some support.
We had our 11wk5d scan a few days ago, and they said I had a tilted womb but couldn't see anything. A transvaginal scan showed a gestational sac, yolk sac and embryo, dated at 5wk5d... I am not sure how this is possible.
No heartbeat. Have been told to wait 3 weeks for another scan - the ultrasound guy clearly thought I'd got my dates wrong, but I had a BFP way before the docs estimated conception date and as I am absolutely sure there was no sex (sorry if TMI) 5-7 weeks ago, I'm not sure what to make of this.
Bizarelly, they have not taken any blood tests to check hormone levels. When I asked the midwife about it she said not to worry about it for now...
So now I feel like the pregnancy either ended at 5 weeks and I've just had one of the rare silent miscarriages and they are just waiting for it to pass (I have absolutely no symptoms of anything being wrong, no pain or blood and still have preg symptoms) or something super strange is going on. Is this normal? To wait 3 weeks without so much as a blood test or an interim scan for a heartbeat?
I realize this might just be a medical grey area, but any advice would be really appreciated! I am suspecting that the med help I am receiving could be better, but don't want to complain in case I am overreacting.

chris, sorry to hear what you're going through.
I had a MC at 11 wks in March, an MC at 6 weeks in June and found out at a scan at 10 wks yesterday that the baby I'm now carrying has died a few days ago(had strong heart beat at scan at 7wks, had grown normally and strong heartbeat at 8 wks). They estimate the embryo stopped growing about a week ago but I still feel pregnant, sore boobs, morning sickness, bump, no bleeding.
With my first MC I had started spotting at about 10 wks which progressed to heavy bleeding with clots over the next week. By the time I was seen at the EPU i had an empty gestational sac but still had retained products. I was advised natural management would be best as I was bleeding and would probably go on to miscarry fully on my own. I had bloods taken that day, bloods taken the next week to check HCG levels dropping and I was booked for a scan 2 weeks later. I went on to pass placenta a few days later but at my next scan even though the bleeding had stopped they thought there were still retained products so had bloods taken again and was booked for another scan in 2 weeks by which time things had settled down though they repeated bloods again to make sure.
The second MC was much earlier, I started spotting and progressed rapidly to heavy bleeding, by the time the EPU scan appointment came around a week later it was complete on the scan,they took bloods at this appointment too to confirm.
This time I had booked a private scan for reassurance as my next scan wasn't due for a few weeks and after my last two experiences I was a nervous wreck. We were devastated to learn there was no heartbeat.The sonographer referred me straight to the EPU who rescanned me and confirmed things. I was given the option of waiting to see if miscarriage would start naturally or being booked in for medical or surgical management on the ward.For now I'm waiting to see and have been booked for a rescan in 2 weeks when they'll reconsider an ERPC if nothing's happening.They didn't take bloods this time.
I don't think you're over reacting, if you're sure of your dates your management does seem bizarre. HCG levels a few days let alone a week apart either rising or dropping would surely give you some indication of what's happening and I would have thought a rescan sooner would also tell you a lot, if you were 7 weeks a heartbeat should be evident?
I would speak to your EPU again, or could your GP take bloods? The not knowing and being in limbo is so difficult,it doesn't seem fair to have to wait three weeks to know what's happening, either for reassurance all is ok, or if not to at least have options for making choices and coming to terms with it.

hey everyone I'm totally new to this and looked on here to see how other women feel having gone through the same as what i have, as it sounds awful but people dont really get it otherwise. Reading other people's stories has given me some comfort as I had a missed miscarriage in May this year (10 weeks but the baby measured at 7.5 weeks) and havent really spoken to anyone about it.

I'm so sorry to everyone whos been through this and to those who are going through it now.

With me I started bleeding at 10 weeks, and had to wait 2 days before the hospital would fit me in for a scan (which isnt that long considering how long some people have to wait but a lifetime when you want to know your baby is ok).

I was a wreck, tried to carry on and hope for the best as my midwife had said as it was light bleeding, as long as I hadnt had any cramps, it wasnt too much to be worried about. The bleeding was light and pink/brown and didnt get any cramping at all. However when I went for the scan it showed straight away that there was no hearbeat and baby on measured at 7.5 weeks so I had had a MMC. I was the longest 2 days of my life and I look back at it 3 months later as a bit of a blur, as it turned out i couldnt have done anything to change the outcome.

Everyone kept telling me it would be ok when deep down I knew somethign wasnt right. Also, my boobs were less sore, had felt less sick in the last week, and food aversions had died down. Looking back it all fits. I think its necassary to push the hospital for a scan if things arent right as yes spotting does happen in pregnancy but miscarriages happen too. Oh and another thing I never thoguth to do while all this was going on was a pregnancy test, never entered my head at the time but if its a missed miscarriage your hcg levels begin to decrease when the baby dies so if its positive thats obviously a good sign..Good luck to everyone going through it right now.

Hi elsebel just thought id best say it takes a while for t hormones to leave ur body,I tested positive for 10 days after having an erpc after a mmc...hated it,didnt feel like I cud move on till it came bk negative... X