Had a scan today and found out I've had a missed miscarriage.

[cupcakes]

I thought I was 12 weeks but apparently the baby died at about 6 weeks. It didn't look like a baby on the ultrasound which helps.
Am quite numb and in shock at the moment. Have decided to wait a week and see if nature takes it course and I miscarry properly. If not I have to go in next Tuesday and decide whether to take the pills or go straight for the operation.
Think I may be on the verge of bleeding as I feel very pre-periody.

The same happened to me cupcakes. I started bleeding at work the day before my booking appointment. They said that the foetus had stopped developing at about 5 weeks. I took a week off work and then went back and was outwardly normal but crumbling inside. I wasted so much time wondering if it was something I had done, and tried for a while to work out when our little angel had died. Luckily I had a very supportive partner who put aside his own hurt and upset to take care of me. We now have a gorgeous baby boy of 4 monhts old, but as I type, the tears are rolling down my cheeks for our other baby who never made it into this world.

Hi cupcakes, sorry i haven't posted much but i have been so up and down, and trying to keep myself busy. Did you phone the hospital? I am going in tonight for mine - i just couldn't face waiting for nature. Like others have said, you feel what you feel - i am normal me for ages, go shopping, to work, laugh at the telly, then the next minute i start thinking, then crying - it is a very bizarre feeling.
I had better go - dd has decided to take all her clothes off!
Thinking of you

I to felt pretty detatched. At times dp thought I was being downright cold. The only thing that made me cry was thinking of the sonographers' face and remembering her words. That did it everytime and even now I hate it when they pop into my head.

Moo- Good luck today hun. xxxxxxxxxx
Cupcakes- How are you doing today sweety? xxxxxxx

My thoughts are with you all going through this dreadful time. The pain will ease, just takes a bit of time. Be kind to yourselves.
Thinking of you all.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am going to phone the hospital this morning when dh gets back from taking ds to school. I just want to talk through my options again - I didn't take in much at the hospital on Tuesday.
I'm scared of the pain now which is why I'm thinking of having the erpc and getting it over with. My MIL had a mc years ago and she has told me it's not as bad as the pain of giving birth - why she would compare it to that when I had just been anticipating bad period pains I don't know, but it has really scared me. I know I want to avoid as much intervention as possible because I had a horrible birth with ds with loads of intervention. So I really don't want to take the pills but am now scared that the natural route will still be as painful. Just don't know what to do. Really wish I had just miscarried when the baby died. All this prolonging it is starting to be incredibly stressful.
I know what you mean about your change in emotions. Sometimes I cry and at others I'm laughing at the tv and posting on chat on MN. Then I feel really guilty.
I wish I could move on already.
Best of luck for later. Will be thinking of you.

I too wish it had just happened all those weeks ago - i feel cheated that i felt and believed i was pregnant, when all the time there was nothing. The only consolation is that there was no baby on the scan - like you it was just a sac, so i keep telling myself i am mourning the loss of my dreams not a baby, and my dreams can always come back if i become pregnant again.
My mum ios coming round soon - i am dreading being alone with her - i know she wil make me cry.

My baby dies at about 6 weeks - so it really didn't look like a baby. Which helps.
Am feeling more upset today than I did yesterday.
Am really annoyed with my body for hanging onto this pregnancy. My boobs are still big and tingly.

oh cupcakes - how awful for you. Sending love and best wishes and a great big (((((hug)))))

Very sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage. The same thing happened to me recently. I had a scan a 11 weeks and found out the baby had died at about 6 weeks. If it's any help, I had exactly the same feelings as you about having minimal intervention, but because I had effectively waited for a "normal miscarriage" and it hadn't happened, I chose to go down the medical route with the pills. I know that it can be different for different people, but for me the miscarriage itself wasn't particularly painful and it did just feel like bad period pains. On the other hand, I was very pleased that it had happened in hospital as there was a lot of bleeding (sorry if TMI) and I think that I would have found it alarming if this had happened at home. It's horrible having to make a decison about what to do and I hope you are able to come to a decision that feels right for you soon. Take care of yourself over the next little while.

Thank you. It's reassuring to hear your experiences with the pain. Is the blood managable with frequent changes of towel or is it worse?
Was going to phone the hospital this morning to talk to someone but I just don't know what to say.
And I'm feeling vulnerable today and don't want to start crying.

Cup cakes how are you today? Have you managed to talk to any one?
I went into hospital last night - all the staff were really friendly, and there were 3 others going through the same thing. The procedure was quick and i feel fine, just a little fragile. Emotionally i feel relieved - no more waiting, and almost that i can move on now.

Mootoo - glad it wasn't too bad. Be prepared for ups and downs though - and getting irrationally upset at things that really don't matter!

mootoo - glad to hear it went ok. Hope you feel better (at least physically) soon.
I phoned the hospital this morning and asked how soon they would be able to fit me in for the erpc and it could be ages. They know of one slot at the moment for next Thursday but they can't assign it to me till I've been in for my appointment on Tuesday. If that's gone by then I'll have to wait till the following Thursday - which of course I may well have m/c naturally by then anyway. If we'd known it was so difficult to get a slot we would have attempted to book in straight away when at the hospital for the scan.
Hopefully I'll miscarry naturally asap but I really don't want to be waiting possibly another 2 weeks.
When they told us what our options were they did not make it clear that it was so hard to get a slot.

How are you cupcakes? It is awful that you may have to wait so long. I am going up to my mums tomorrow so wont be able to post, but my thoughts are with you.

Hope you're feeling better.
My m/c kicked in last night with the pain and loads of bleeding and clots. Felt ok when I got up this morning and went to my EPAU appointment where they scanned me and confirmed that the sack was on it's way out - am fairly sure I have just passed it. I have another scan booked next week to confirm it. Just relieved that hopefully we can start to move on now and don't have to wait ages for a surgery appointment.
I've been ok really. Till I had to share a lift with two pg women this morning on the way to their ante natal clinic. Made me very teary.

hope you are ok cupcakes. thinking of you.

cx

Hi Cupcakes, I haven't logged in for a couple of weeks and I read your story, I had a missed miscarraige at a similar time as you, i opted for the medical way as i was scared to have a general, but i wish i have had the d& c now, as it didn't complete and i had to have the d&c anyway yesterday, It has been a long drawn out horrible experience, and i would have much rather it happened naturally. I hope that your miscarraige is complete and that you can get on with your life and get back to normal, I'm thinking of you, good luck!

Cupcakes- I am so sorry.
I had one back in 93,before any of my children were born,(xdh and I were devastated), had D&C.

Thank you. I have another scan on Tuesday to confirm it is all over but when I had my scan last week they practically confiremd it then as they could see that the womb was empty and the sac was almost out (it come out later that day).
I am still bleeding but (comparatively) it is starting to slow down now which is good.
We've been told to wait till I have one regular period before trying again but I think we might give it a few months longer than that. Now it's happened I feel like a bit of a break from thinking pregnancies. We're having an extension built and my brother is getting married in August so we might get those things out of the way and make life as stressfree as possible.
I think I feel ok now - am glad it didn't happen before we already had (2) children as that must be harder to deal with. However, was very tetchy with dh yesterday and ended up having petty rows all day so think we're still quite stressed by it all.
Hope things are ok with you.

Glad to hear you are ok cupcakes. I feel so much better after a few days at my mums. I too was told to wait for my next period but i am temtped to just see what happens - i haven't let dh near me for ages as it is! From talking to friends, they said that it may get bad around the time the baby was due - i read somewhere about someone who planted sonething that bloomed around the due time - that seems like a really nice idea.
Let us know how your scan went.

Glad you're feeling better, mootoo. I've been feeling better than ok really - I had the scan yesterday which was fine and was then in really high spirits all day. Till after the children went to bed and I burst out crying. Didn't expect to be so up and down.
The hospital said we could start trying immediatly if we wanted and weren't at all bothered about us waiting till I've had a period. At the moment I do think we might wait a few months though. What about you? I think that come September it would feel better if I was pg but I don't want that to be my main reason for rushing back in!

I too am up and down - bit down tonight, but dh isn't around so i have more time to think. Others have warned that my emotions will be all over the place. my main concern is how it is affecting dd. She keeps saying "alright mummy?" which is cute, but really think she iss too young to be worrying about me.
I know what you mean about coping better in september if i am pregnant. Dh wants to wait for the next period, and someone said today that i need to let my womb heal. i thought it was just so the doctors could work out the dates better. What is even more depressing is that with christmas and the pregnancy i have put on nearly a stone in weight - i had been going to ww previously, so i am back on a diet!

The weight gain is so depressing. I put on weight initially and had a little bump which then just changed to podge around week 11 (should have been an indicator that all was not well). And I've done so much comfort eating recently that I'm now a whole size larger than I was when I got pg. Am dieting too.
It's interesting what you say about giving the womb time to heal - dh thinks this too.

so sorry cupcakes, take care xx

Cupcakes and Mootoo, so sorry.

Sorry cupcakes. I had something similar with my first pg. It came out naturally but I was very down for quite a while. I hope it goes OK.

Take care of yourself. x