Holy mother of CRAP..this was defo NOT part of my plans...what the jeff do i do??

[nosleepwithworry]

I had my 7th mcs about 9 weeks ago (i think, i didnt write any dates down, have little memory of about 2 weeks during the time, due to the drugs i was pumped with)
In short, i dont know when it occurred.

Ive sought councelling because i have never talked about my mcs ever, to any one.(well, only to you lot )
Additionally, i am coming up 42, and thught that that was IT the end, no more, even went and got the pill.

Patiently waiting for my period so that i could start taking the damned thing.
No af as yet.
Feeling much better in myself, councelling really really helping, im on a healthy eating mission (thanks to myfitnesspal) doing really well.

Accepting everything, although the grief has been overwhelming at times .

So af still not here, so bought a cheepy test, thought that all pregnancy hrmones will now be gone...this far after mc....almost immediately a pink line came up.

We dtd only a couple of times..it normally took me up to 22 months to concieve so this has floored me...completely and totally. Do not know what the jeff i should do?????????
All calming words of wisdom very much appreciated....i know i know, theres no fool like an old fool..

No sleep am so for you I saw the beginning of this thread and had to come back for an update! Congratulations!

Hey nosleep.. How are you feeling?

Thinking of you and the wee bean!

im good, fat, happy, hairy, toenaily, with huge sore melons looking forward to Tuesday as i've got my first midwife appointment.
Kinda makes it real doesnt it?!

Yay to fat and hairy :) I am now 18 weeks. Got my BFp on the day we were being referred for infertility testing :)

YAY Stacey, another lovely lovely story. Does it feel real to you yet??? Can you believe it???

Miracles do happen, you and me are miracles aren't we

Sometimes it feels real, others I still feel like I've imagined the whole thing! having had a 12 wk scan helps and a 16 wk check where they listen to the heartbeat. Still have some doubting moments but am beginning to get movement so hoping to believe it more soon! Lol

We are indeed, sometimes I think nature just needs a gentle reminder, it's amazing how many women fall pg while being referred for IVF!

I love this thread, I keep my eye on it to check all is still well

Yes miracles do happen.

Ok fruit people......have i progressed from an olive now, what do i have?
A lime/lemon/grape/kiwi?

What a lovely thread!! Sooo happy for you. Having had fertility problems myself and come to the stage of truly believing I would never have a child I know how wonderful/scary it is to finally have your dreams come true. I had tube removed following ep after a long time tTc, finally fell pregnant with ds just as tests being completed, told in addition to my one tube my dh sperm slow after got bfp! Now just had second child born exactly 4 years after my surgery to remove ep.
Your posts have brought real tears to my eyes and I have everything possible crossed that this baby will make it, feb the very best month too (both my little ones feb babies!)

Week 11? A lime. Week 12 is a plum - most be a v big plum to be bigger than a lime. Perhaps they are bigger in America :o

I love this thread.

Very excited for you and your lime. even though in my head a lime is bigger than a plum.

So we told ds last night.

Either way he is not stupid, he is 9 and finishes school at the end of this week for summer hols.
He will be around us all of the time.

If this goes ok, he needs to know why i am so anxious and tired etc.
If it doesnt go ok, he will be aware that we are upset, distressed and that i will be in hospital.
I have never told him of any of my previous losses, we have protected him really well, he doesnt know anything.

This time, its later, its more emotional, its very very special. That will impact on him, i know it will.

We just decided it was the best thing to do.

I am very very anxious now about abnormailities, testing and implications.
I stagger from one doom to another gloom and i could kick myself, really i could.

Midwife tomorrow, 12 weeks on Friday, still got glorious symptoms to reassure me.
Impossible to just relax and enjoy sometimes.

AND breath........

Good luck with the midwives, when's your 12 wk scan? This is huge for all of you and whatever happens you will face it as a family :)

Just wanted to say hello & wish you all the best for your appointments this week. I understand how nerve-wracking it is, and being too afraid to be hopeful. Don't be hard in yourself for feeling that way. You've been through a lot.

Hang in there, your midwife will be able to give you some reassurance & hopefully you will be able to relax gradually. Don't expect too much of yourself & take it as easy as you can.

Xxx

Im being a twat arent i? Gahhhhh!

No date for 12 week scan, i spose the madwife will book this for me??? Dont know how it all works tbh???

Me and my lime are doing a bit of ironing and attempting to do some work towards MA, doing lots of distraction stuff..

You are NOT being a twat!! Give yourself a break.

Distraction is good.

Depends in your area to how you get your scan appointment, mine was sent through the post but some people I know got given it by their midwife.

you are so NOT a twat!

yes the midwife will sort your scan for you, then you get it by post but given you are almost 12wks they may just phone up and sort it for you, i had that happen with one of mine as i was almost 12wks when i booked in.

reaches out and holds nosleeps hand, and breathe! xxx

Oooh wagon wheels are VERY distracting

but they are sooo much smaller than they used to be!

Being a twat in your situation is normal and acceptable. With my last ds, I could not accept the pregnancy was going to go ok until he was in my arms! It got a little easier as the weeks went on, but had many many panicky moments. I have managed so far to hide all my m/c's from the children, but my oldest is now 9 and I wonder how I would keep it hidden for very long, so I think that you are wise to fess all to your ds.

Hope that the wagon wheels keep up thier distraction!

Hi willitbe...waves frantically xxxxx

I feel justified in my twatishness somewhat!

Ds is not daft, its been difficult at times before, during and after each mc to carry on as normal for his sake. He thinks ive had an "upset tummy" for 5 years lol!

As i say, he will need to know either way. This one is very different from the rest. It will impact.

How are you willitbe?

oh and yes, wagonwheels are smaller, i have noticed that i run out much quicker than i did as a kid

Hey, and for what it's worth, you're definitely not a twat!! You're a brave & strong woman xxx

You are not a twat.

I think you are right to explain to your DS. He is of an age where he can cope with an age appropriate chat about what is going on. We know how childrens imaginations can run riot, better to be honest with him.

Wagon wheels are shit now, too small and you can have a jam variety, wrong wrong wrong.

If you and lime need more distractions I have a mountain of ironing here that you could get stuck into

Seriously though, I am keeping everything crossed for you. What comes after the lime?