Bloody bollocks

[Monstermama]

This was the week that I should be announcing my pregnancy. But I lost the baby at 7 weeks. And I was dealing with this quite well I thought.

Then with in the past week six of my friends (SIX) have announced (via fb of course) that they are expecting (one on my actual due date - waffling on about how she would like a girl this time thank you very much - fuck you very much).

And lets not forget the two actual babies who have arrived this week.

Its not so much that I'm not happy for these people, its just made me so angry because before I was dealing with things, now all I am thinking about is how it should be me. I cant get it out of my head. And people who announce their pregnancies on facebook I have decided are arseholes (as I grudgingly reply - brilliant news congratu(fucking)lations.

Deep breath. rant over.

I'm so sorry. Can you hide these people on FB for a while?

Rant away.

I've been there. It's so bloody hard. Even since going on to have a baby (after 4mc) I still get that little pang of jealousy when some announces a pg or has a baby.

Life is shite sometimes.

We would be lying if any of us denied that we felt this way, when friends etc announce their good news. I also agree with you about announcing on fb, especially when all they do is change pic to scan pic and wait for people to say stuff!!!
I have changed settings so I don't see their updates unless I choose to look at profile (which is rare).
xx

Lola I'm the same - and am so glad I've not got 6 pregnant friends!! Can't stand fb announcements and just don't get it - not sure if its because I'm now so pessimistic but just seems like tempting fate and don't think congratulations are in order until the baby is actually here (am the same with baby showers!). Totally agree that people who moan about being pregnant or wanting one sex or the other are just very annoying....

mumatron I also get a pang even though I've got DD!! Its like I'm programmed to feel upset when someone announces a pregnancy. Think I'm also a bit jealous of their excitement and blissful ignorance of all the horrible things that can happen!!!

Thanks ladies you have made me feel better!

It also pisses me off when people say "hmm yes we are planning on another one next year". Wouldn't be lovely to have a womb so fertile and accomodating that you could actually plan when you will have your kids!!?

ha ah god i sound so bitter!!

I feel like this too, although my mc was almost a year ago now. But we've been TTCing for 8 months and nothing. People at my work seem to go on mat leave / announce they're pg / give birth on a weekly basis, and last week a friend who got pg after I did had her baby. It's rough and it's crap and it's horrible to feel so bitter about it all but I think everyone who's lost a baby goes through this. Hide those bastards on FB, ignore who you need to and find stuff to do that doesn't involve babies or people who might have babies, that's my advice. I've started to go walking with a bunch of pensioners. No risk there :)

Sorry monstermama meant to address my post to you! Got carried away in my bitter ranting!!

Can I join?

MC 5 weeks ago, scan was meant to be on Saturday so I had planned to tell everyone this week. Already this morning 2 more friends expecting first week of October (that makes 4 quite close friends). I cried when I read one this morning - they had not been trying, it had been a complete surprise but they are coming round to the idea ... My dh just said well, people are not going to stop having babies and went to work. No hug or anything :( I KNOW - but not me at the moment it seems (although I do have a ds so I know I am lucky but ...!!!!!)

Had my AF on Sunday and was determined to try and draw a line under it. I knew this week would be hard but to fall apart on Tuesday morning, not good! Sorry you still feel so bad after all this time philbee (although logically I guess it is worse as you have had so much more time of being upset) Big hugs sent your way.

Aw, thanks musicflower. I feel ok, tbh now the upset is caused more by 8 months of TTCing and not knowing why it's taking so much longer than before. I've kind of made my peace with the mc, particularly since the due date passed in Jan. I just feel like I'm not eager to hear other people's 'good news'. But now DD is nearly 4 there are far fewer people pg than a few years ago in my circle, we are kind of through the looking glass in terms of age gap around here, no one waits this long intentionally. Hope things ease for you soon too.

Five weeks is not long, btw. I was very upset in bursts for months after. Give yourself time and MAKE your DH be kind to you. It really took me a good six months to get past it and look ahead and you need support.

I have this green monster sitting on my shoulder ->

I have 2 close friends, and the 3 of us each have a DC around 2. I MC in October at 6/7 weeks, and one of my friends told me she was pregnant a few weeks later. I had another MC in February (9 weeks), and the other friend told me last week that she has just found out she is pregnant. Sadly, I think my miscarriages have made her a bit cautious and scared - that makes me feel guilty and sad that she isn't just happy.

They were both as thoughful and considerate about telling me as they could be, and I am genuinely happy for them, I'm just sad/angry/jealous/ that it isn't me too.

I agree, adversecamber, I find the general emails to everyone, or overhearing chit chat about people who are pg very upsetting. But if I'm talking face to face to someone about their pregnancy it's fine really. I think it's because I can focus on it being their experience and their baby much more. It's rough when people announce just after, no matter how they do it. I didn't like the feeling of being pitied either, but I tried to understand it was sympathy.