Ectopic pregnancy support thread

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and

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Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

hi everyone, I have just come home fun hospital after a laparoscopy for an ectopic pregnancy. they also removed my left tube. I feel constantly knackered and sore, just when I feel like I'm getting better, if I get up for 5/10 minutes I'm tired again. I don't think I've been able to process any of this emotionally yet but I'm sure that's to come!

I was just wondering how long it to you to recover physically from the operation? Also did you get any bleeding and how long until AF arrived? I should be due AF on Friday but I have no idea what my cycles will do now.

Just feeling a bit lost

Hi Terry's, so sorry you have been through this awful experience. I had a ruptured ectopic, and lost my right tube last October. Everyone is different in their recoveries, emotional and physical. Personally it took me a week for the pain from the operation to stop (throat pain from where they had to shove tube down was the worst!), but weeks to get my energy back. My gp commented that it takes our bodies months to fully recover from a major op/blood loss, etc so it can take months to get back to 100%.

I didn't return to work for 6 weeks, and even then was on a phased return for another 6 weeks until I was back to my normal hours. I would work a morning, then be totally exhausted and sleep all afternoon. But again everyone is different and I know some people who have written on this and other threads who go back to work within weeks.

When AF returns is also dependant upon the person. Mine came back after 6 weeks, but I think it is considered normal to take anything from 2 to 13 weeks or something similar.. So unfortunately it can take a while.

Emotionally give yourself lots of time. It took me over a week for the shock to dissipate and for my true emotions to come through. I tried to 'stay strong' and push them back, which only resulted in me crying at random places in public as I couldn't hold it in. My occ health advisor said a psychiatrist told her our bodies heal themselves first, then start work on our emotions..so it almost fixes itself despite any efforts to block it. I felt shattered for a while.. Broken in a way, like a shadow of my previous self.. But after a few months I found myself able to smile and laugh normally again (without the immediate 'how can I feel this way after losing my baby).

Again I will say these are my own feelings/experiences and everyone is different. I hope something I rambled above helps! Take care of yourself.xxx

punky thanks for sharing your experience. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen next, just taking one day at a time at the moment.

just wondering, the hospital said I might bleed after the op but its been 3 days now and no sign of bleeding, is that right?

I wanted to add my story to this thread as the type of ectopic I had was very rare and I wondered if there are others like me lurking on MN.

My ectopic pregnancy had implanted in my c-section scar, like I said it's pretty rare something like 0.2% of all ectopics occur in a c-section scar - the consultant I see (who is an ectopic specialist) sees maybe 4 a year.

She was very clear with me that it wasn't my fault I had an emergency c-section with my first pregnancy, and the ectopic wasn't something I did nor caused. But jeez, it doesn't feel like that!!

Whilst I was 'lucky' and began to miscarry naturally and have no lasting damage to my baby making bits the whole experience has been very hard emotionally.

It's been 3 months since my ectopic and I'm still very low, I've really been knocked for six by it and whilst I have a couple of friends who are great at checking in with me and turning up for a 'chat' (well a listen to my snot sodden ramblings!) they are both pregnant. Four of us who had met at NCT with our first children fell pregnant at the same time, my pregnancy ended and I've watched the other girls continue their pregnancies. I feel very happy for them, and I know I can't avoid pregnant people I just find it very difficult getting that very visual reminder each week of the pregnancy I lost.

My normal attitude to adversity is to 'pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start again' but I've really not felt able to. I'm going through the motions of getting on with it but can cry at the drop of a hat. I wonder if that normal (is there such a thing?)

I also wondered if anyone can suggest a good way for me to reach out for counselling. I would go via my GP but they mishandled my ectopic so badly (don't come in, don't present to A&E just stay home and bleed) that my consultant made a complaint to them and I'm not keen to go back there when I'm not feeling particularly strong about things.

Terry's, I can't remember exactly when I started initial bleed after the op but know it was at least 3 days after op, so try not to worry.

lubbly, I am so sorry you feel like this, but remember those feelings well. Ectopic.org.uk suggest either being referred to counsellors through your GP, or contacting the charity 'MIND' who are means tested so you only pay what you can afford. I hope it helps.xxx

Lubbly I would echo what Punky says, call the EPT as they have people who you can talk to, it does sound like you need to take some time to do this.

Still no bleeding for me, day 4 post op and although my scars are still a bit sore I am less tired overall. If my cycle were normal I would have expected AF on Friday but I guess that won't happen now so it's just a waiting game until it does.

Hi all. I'm glad to have found you but sorry that there is a need for this thread.

I'm on day 5 after the methotrexate injection. Praying that this works& ends it. Sounds heartless but I'm so resentful about what is happening to my body & my life.

I am extremely lucky to have a 3.5 yr old DS and a nearly 9 month old DD. We started trying for number three three months ago, I had two early miscarriages, and this one seemed to be going the same way, but for some reason I did another HPT on day 4 of the bleeding & it was stronger than before. Went to GP as was concerned about other reasons for hcg being present, ectopic pregnancy didn't even occur to me.

I had first bloods taken 27th June, second taken 4 days later, they had risen slightly, blood taken two days later showed level dropping, back the following week to be told they had dropped again, two days later a significant rise. In for a scan the following day, they still don't know where it is... How can they not see it? Does anyone know? Where are the possible places? Not in ovaries, tubes or uterus. I hope they checked my c section scar, but don't know.

I had methotrexate injection on Friday, three weeks after first presentation to go. Bleeding started yesterday. Does anyone know if some 10p sized clots are normal? Should I phone & check? Hcg levels were up again on day 4 but they are expected to have dropped some by the time I go back for more bloods on Friday.

My real issue with this whole thing is the effect it has had on breastfeeding my daughter. I was devastated to be told (only when I asked) that it would be the end of bfing. I didn't have my baby with me so I couldn't do a "last feed", I was able to pump at hospital before they finally got the drug. She has refused all milk - expressed prior to injection/formula - from cups, bottles, syringes, spoons, newborn feeding cup...

I did find out that I could feed her from day 4 after the injection, however I think she has been so traumatised by our four days of not being able to (it has been horrendously distressing for both of us not to just be able to latch on & get on with it) that she has bitten me at each offering & now behaves as though my nipple were trying to murder her. I was not ready to have now be the end of our bfing relationship. I know this is probably small beans & I ought to be more devastated at the loss of another baby, but I feel that I knew from the beginning it wasn't a good pregnancy. I didn't know or even consider ectopic, I was more concerned that I had conceived & lost for three cycles in a row.

I have only read the first two pages so far, will go back & make my way through slowly, but I am really concerned to read that having the methotrexate could increase the risk of this happening again. Not that I am sure I am prepared to try again when the time does come. I really don't want to risk putting us all through this harrowing shit again.

The ectopic took so long to be diagnosed & the whole thing just seems so far removed from me & my life. I have my two lovely small children, I can't sit & relax as the leaflets tell me I should. Am I setting myself up for trouble? I've obviously stopped digging up my garden & chopping down bits of tree, but I can't do a laundry strike, or refuse to vacuum. I have a small (tiny) business, an ironing service, I am supposed to be coming off mat leave now. Am I mad to be getting ready to start up again in a few days?

So many questions, I know women vary from individual to individual, but those who haven't had pain, "only" heavy bleeding, & have felt able to just get on with life, albeit in a slightly dimmer & more detached fashion, should I expect to experience a crash some time soon?

Sorry for the random assembly of words & thoughts, perhaps I should have taken more time just to try to appear coherent!

tucking I'm really sorry you are going through this. I didn't have the methotrexate so I don't know what's "normal" with that. I'm really sorry it's had such an effect in your breastfeeding, I know its easier said than done but try to just offer DD your breast rather than a bottle and don't stress about it because she'll pick up on that, hopefully you can reestablish it. It really sucks doesn't it. I never thought I would think this but I wish I'd had another miscarriage rather than this.

Thanks terrys. I know what you mean, I feel so angry & cheated that I seemed to have had a "normal miscarriage" and then all this shite on top. It's just so shit.

I'm sorry for your losses & I hope recovery goes smoothly for you.xx

tucking I started passing some clots today, I guess it's the clear out from the surgery. How is BF going today?

It's still not happening. She's taken some more from a cup though so hopefully can keep her hydrated with that. What I thought was a tooth appears to be a couple of tiny ulcers where she's been rubbing her bottom tooth against the gum, no wonder she doesn't want to suck.

I don't know how you feel about having started bleeding, I started a couple of days ago again, first post-injection & I feel relieved. Back to hospital tomorrow for more blood tests & hopefully by the afternoon I'll know that things are heading in the right direction.

I feel as though I should be apologetic for my coldness towards the situation, but I hope it's ok in here that I'm not.

I do hope your "clear out" isn't distressing for you & that it's over soon. Much love coming your way.

Tucking my heart goes out to you, I'm also breastfeeding and diagnosed with an ectopic, I'm worried about having to stop too if they recommend the injection. Have you tried taking a bath together? Skin to skin and cuddles? Xx

Ah bees I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I've done all the things I can think of. If you're on fb, I've posted to the Analytical Armadillo page & had good advice from there too.

Unfortunately I found out today that the first injection hasn't worked. I have to go back tomorrow for a second. I'm so wrung out at this point that I can't say anything more except that my wonderful wonderful neighbour has offered me her freezer stash of milk. We don't know each other that well, but I will never forget her rescue in our time of need. I pursued the donor milk route but was turned down because "there's not health benefit to the baby, she would need to be ill at this age to qualify". Well basically I'm ill, so I am very disappointed especially as I donated in the past. I understand that her need isn't as great as a premie or newborn, but if all she will drink is bm & that's supposed to be her main source of nutrition until 1 year old, surely she qualifies. Whatfuckingever. Can't even get pissed to block it all out.

I'll be back in a better frame of mind tomorrow.

bees check out the Analytical Armadillo page on fb & also kellymom has lots of info on keeping supply up & getting (non-stubborn, ulcered mouthed) babies back on the boob. I wish you all the best & don't worry about the injection, it didn't hurt at all. I was astonished.xx

tucking sorry you have to have another injection, that sucks. It sounds like you are totally up to speed on the whole BF thing and know all the right places to go for help, Kellymom is a brilliant site.

Do not feel guilty about being clinical about the ectopic, although do be prepared for waves of emotion that hit you at random times, like walking to school!

bees really sorry you are going through this too, if you need any help making decisions or just information, the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website is really good and they have phone advisors who you can talk to. Good luck.

Oh tucking I'm so sorry you're having to have a second one, they're going to tell me today what the plan is after another bt. I think the injection sounds like a good option looking at it. The breastfeeding is also freaking me out, my baby is 21m though and this morning we had milky and I said mummy might have to stop milky for a few days because I'm poorly Hoping it'll be okay an that she can just about understand, worth a go. I'm go analytical amadillo so I'll heck that out.
I also donated milk and think it's rubbish you're not eligible
This is such a shit situation, I have no risk factors and I'm so healthy, it's all so wrong
The hospital have been totally shit so far, the missed it last week as said PUL then refused to see me for a week despite me calling 3 times saying I'm in pain and worried about an ectopic.
I'm going to put in a complaint when all this is over. Yesterday they just whispered to each other and then put me in a side room alone with a fact sheet about Ep and left me there.
And I screamed and sobbed through the internal scan she was so rough

Terry I hope you are recovering ok from your op. It is all totally shite isn't it?!

I'm desperate to go running is that allowed?
Also my dh is working Monday onwards and then I'll be alone with the toddler, is that ok?
I've been given no info at all, off the the ectopic pregnancy trust to seek info

bees sorry the hospital are being rubbish. I must say that where I went (Stoke Mandeville) they were excellent. I think the injection doesn't stop you doing anything really, maybe just take it easy but I'm not allowed to run for 2 weeks. You really should call the ectopic pregnancy trust if you're not getting good support from the hospital.

It's my birthday today and trying to take my mind of things with a BBQ, so far so good!

Apparently no running, no sex
They want to do the injection on Monday

For those that had the injection, can you tell me what it involved? They said about seeing a dr and I'm freaking out and what risks did they tell you? Also did you have to have anymore scans?
Thanks

Also did they say no breastfeeding for 3 days, no one at the hospital seems to know here!

bees I'm really sorry that I can't answer your questions, why don't you visit the ectopic pregnancy trust talk forums here as they always have someone who works for them who monitors the forums to answer. www.ectopic.org.uk/talk/

good luck!

Hi bees. I can't fully answer your questions but I'll tell you what I can.

You'll be seen by a doctor who will talk you through the risks involved in having the injection & why they are managing you "expectorantly" or expectantly since I don't think that other one is a word.

You & the doctor will sign a consent form to say that the risks have been explained & any questions you have have been answered. Then you'll get the injection. I had to lie down on my side & had it in my buttock. The first one didn't hurt, the second one did a bit but not badly. If you wriggle your toes while they are doing it, I found it helped.

They will explain not to take NSAID painkillers like ibuprofen (paracetamol) is fine, not the same family of drug. They'll tell you not to drink alcohol & not to take anything like pre-natal vitamins as they contain folate which can interfere with what the methotrexate is working to achieve.

After the injection I think they are supposed to keep you for 20 mins or so to observe you & make sure no adverse reaction. I was let home immediately after 1st shot because I had been kept hanging about all day & had a distressed baby at home I needed to see. Second one they kept me for 30 mins & gave me a sandwich.

I am exhausted, I'm sure it's a combination of injection, early pregnancy hormones (bastards) & a still distressed & not sleeping baby plus a very badly behaved at the moment 3.5 year old boy. Why am I not asleep?! You'll be told to take it easy, yeah right. The EPT leaflet that you will be given, or already have will explain a lot more than I have & I have to say their website is very informative. I've only had a quick look today but will go back.

You are not supposed to do exercise more than gentle walking, no housework (again, yeah, right), no alcohol, no ibuprofen, take it as easy as you can. I started bleeding on day 4, it's lightened up now but still some. I had a night of period like cramping last night after second dose. Nothing awful & I think I had a pain I would hope was detachment of the pregnancy, but only time will tell.

I haven't had another scan, I asked about it on the day of second injection but they don't think it would show anything... I can't say I'm over the moon with that weak explanation but they know best.

I have been told by every medical person I asked that I couldn't feed for 4 days and because the drug could affect my daughter's cells in her eggs and liver function etc I chose to err on the side of caution. There is no evidence of the drug showing in breastmilk at any stage, but they are so cautious about it that I decided (not that there was any contest in my mind actually) to be as safe as I could, thus no feeding. I have pumped & dumped. My supply is now dwindling despite pumping as often as I can possibly find time to. I'm making lactation cookies tomorrow, it would have been tonight but poor milk less baby wouldn't sleep til 1am so I wasn't prepared to start faffing with unfamiliar ingredients at that stage.

I hope I've covered everything & that it gives you some idea of what is to come, the injection seriously isn't that bad. I can't comment on what level of pain (if any) to experience as it does its thang because I didn't have any pain after first dose & it didn't work. So I'm not the best person to ask. I suspect it really varies woman to woman.

Best wishes for later today, I hope your doctor puts you at ease & that it works well for you. They will take blood on day 4 - don't panic if the level has gone up, they expect it to peak on day 4 & then come down. Somehow I didn't take that info in & died a bit when they told me it had risen - before I heard the words "but that's to be expected". They expect a 15% drop between day 4&7.

Lots of love to you. Do you have support for all you're dealing with?xx

Dunno why I put paracetamol on brackets, can't remember but it shouldn't be!

Hello, thank you for the info. I've had the injection, just praying it works, this is such as bit situation