Just had 12 week scan, baby died at 8 weeks, what next ?

[HaveToWearHeels]

no heartbeat and baby measuring 8 weeks. I am so shocked as we had scan at 6 weeks due to previous ectopic and all was in the right place, have had no pains, no bleeding and was still having sickness until 2 weeks ago.

Scan lady was lovely and made appointment for me to go back to discuss my options with doctor. Obviously I have been carrying a dead baby around in me for 4 weeks which I just can't compute at the moment :( What can I expect tomorrow ? I would like to arm myself with as much info as possible.

On the emotional side I am a mess. I have DD who is 2 and I desperatley what her to have have a sibling, but at nearly 42 and one tube this now seems like a distant dream. I somehow feel that I was the custodian of this baby for me and DH and I have failed.

hercule, I really hope that this all passes for you. Please don't be disappointed at your scan on thursday if they say that you still need the ERPC. I lost massive clots the size of my hand and had actual labour pains, the the scan showed the sac was still there as well as lots of other tissue. The ERPC really was a doddle, tiny bit of bleeding and absolutely no pain after. If I am ever unlucky enough to be in the same situation again, I would definitely have another one.

Hi all, could those who've had ERPC give me a little bit of advice. Had ERPC on Saturday afternoon and today have had hardly any bleeding at all. Is that normal? Most things I read said bleeding up to a week, but it's only 3 days. If that is it, I'm happy at that, but just wanted to see what you thought. Thanks.

I had the same. It started again after a couple of days, though very light just spotting really, and lasted on and off for a couple of weeks. But the worst was definitely the first 2-3 days when i used pads.

Ethelred I only had bleeding for 2-3 days and very light bleeding at that so I think it is normal.

Hi Ladies, sorry again to see new ladies on here and sorry for your losses :(

I stopped bleeding 2 weeks after ERPC only to resume normal activities, the week later after SWI started bleeding again (like a period) but only lasted two days and had clots again, so bit confused!

Also getting pains in my uterus and feel like i gained so much weight and now look like crap and can't be bothered to do any exercise to get rid of it. Just wish i was still pregnant with our little bean, its really hard xx

Oh shomes it's just shit isn't it. With so much you've gone through, and the other lovely ladies on here, I reckon diets and losing weight are things you can bin off for now don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just do nice treaty things for a while... plenty of time for exercise!! I got tonnes of chocolate for my birthday and am having pudding after every meal including breakfast

Ethelred It sounds like what's happening is 'normal' How are you feeling?

I went for my hospital scan today and the smiling sonographer asked me how far along I thought I was....had to point out I'd had 2 private scans that showed a mmc...she must've skipped reading the notes

Anyway, although I've been bleeding since Sunday the 'pregnancy' was all still there, saw Doc afterwards and am now booked in for ERPC on Friday morning.

Ah well, the giant toblerone is calling me from the fridge...or is it the fancy chilli choc...or the maltesers...best go and check...

Oh shomes, that is crap. I know what you mean about wishing everything was just ok and going smoothly.

Dorita glad you are getting sorted and hope that you have a quicker hospital experience than my 36 hour stint! . I am sure you will. Am feeling pretty ok, going back to work tomorrow just for a day, hopefully that will be do-able!

Shomes, I could have totally written your post, feeling exactly the same! Especially with the weight issue! I spent the year before I got pregnant losing weight & getting fit, lost 3 1/2 stone & for first time in years was happy with my figure. Since the pregnancy, subsequent m/c I just eat whatever I want, baked cakes like they were going out of fashion. Have pudding ALOT & feel pretty flabby & crap! I felt so angry this morning when I was getting ready for work, I was squeezing into my skinny jeans & sucking in my muffin top & just kept thinking I would have had a nice bump by now! Felt really cross & sad & have felt like that all day. Bloody stupid AF doesn't help as bloated & got dry skin too. Sorry will stop moaning now!!!

Hope you are all coping ok, Dorita hope Friday goes ok & hope that toblerone, chilli chocolate & maltesers are keeping you going - malteser bunnies are doing it for me at the moment!

Just a hug to everyone. Have woken up feeling bit weepy...think cos period type pains are kicking in more so more aware of what's happening...or not happening as the case may be, would rather hold out till Friday's ERPC please body.

Hope work is ok today ethel I'll be thinking of you.

Hi everyone. Well bleeding properly kicked off this morning, was horrid, like passing lumps of jelly. Happened duringbeakfast and ended up stuck on loo with DD downstairs in highchair ' I eating my porridge mummy'!!! Called my parents and DH, neatly fainted twice, apparently my lips went blue! Ended up in A&E, admitted straight away, some internal check - worst thing ever. Now on ward poss going to end up with ERPC anyway but not sure.

lou and shomes the whole weight thing is a minefield in itself. I've always been very preoccupied with mine, so much so that I refused to be weighed through most of my pregnancy with DS. Bizarrely, when truly grief stricken, I stop eating and tend to drop weight (as opposed to just being a bit miserable when I eat for england). So my mmc resulted in nearly a stone off, but I know that if TTC takes long I'll gain due to massive consumption of crisps, macdonalds, toast and as soon as AF arrives.

Thanks everyone for your words of support, Dorita thinking of you and what your going through, its really hard when you already have children to keep it together and not short change them in any way.

Feeling a bit better today but have poorly DS who was up all night with ragingn temp so staying awake with caffiene!!

Blimey Hercule what a horrible day, glad you've been seen in hospital, maybe ERPC the best option?

Thanks schomes am feeling much better this aft. I don't have any children (yet) so at least don't have to hide my moodswings!

Thanks Dorita -sry that post was all about me! Glad you're feeling a bit better now.

Nothing happening here - just managed to walk 10 yards to loo and back, with help and nearly fainted!!! Not sure what they are going to do...

Weight for me is an issue. I weighed nearly 18 stone at my heaviest and had managed to lose about three stone of that. Between just before Xmas and last week I'd managed to put on a stone. I found a combination of overeating when I had a hypo, plus then comfort eating hasn't helped. I have however just joined myfitnesspal and am hoping to use that when this is all done and dusted!

hercule I think I x-posted with you. What an awful day! It does sound like what happened with me and I did end up with the ERPC. Hope you're feeling much better soon. Horrible being in hospital. For me being at he was better, more private and comfortable though I felt awful and DH and my parents wanted me in hospital. Obviously I refused to go! Thank goodness for family who can help out with other children. I know what one means about not wanting to short change the DCs we already have.

*he home. FFS on phone.

Oh Hercules. what a day you've had. I really hope that you are getting sorted now you're in hospital. I hope the EPRC goes smoothly for you. Fingers crossed it will be a walk in the park compared to what you've been through today. Massive hug to you.

Dorita, hope you are ok and not too upset. Hope that you can hang on til Friday for your ERPC. Big hugs to you too.

Went back to work today. Was ok, there was hardly anyone in anyway, so was a nice way to ease myself back in. And I only work mon-wed so that's me done for this week. Feeling fine now really, just a bit of very light bleeding, more like mucous really (sorry if TMI!) just got to finish off my antibiotics now and then will be having a very big glass of wine on Saturday night!

Thinking of you all. Xxx

Thank you. Just finally been seen now, going for ERPC now. Blood pressure dropped to something over 44 and I feel very weak and shaky despite just lying down. They thought it might be ok, but seems I am perhaps a bleeder - I was after DD too. Really has been the worst day ever and I don't think I will ever forget the feeling of passing all the bits!

Oh Hercule, so sorry you have had such a shit day. Hopefully it will be fine now. And soon you will feel so much better. Xxx

FFS change of plan! Not going now... Having some more drugs to make my body do it first because emergency in labour ward (fair enough I am stable, well physically!)... Must try to sleep!

MrsHercule you poor thing, what a horrendous time you are having, hope you are managing to get some sleep. At least being in hospital you know they will react to whatever your body does. I totally know what you mean about "passing" the pregnancy, it still haunts me. I too was trying to cope with it at home with DD around, so hard & getting to hospital was a relief in some ways ( although horrendous in many others)!!! I really hope they are taking good care of you & some end is in sight to at least the physical part of your m/c.

Just watched OBEM, why, I am not sure & found it so emotional, feeling really low today anyway. AF has knocked last bit of stuffing out of me I think. Hope you are all doing ok ladies.

How are you today Hercule? (I've been reading loads of Agatha Christie the last few weeks, and watching Miss Marple boxsets, love your name )

Hope everyone else is okay. Glad work was okay Ethel I work full time but might go in next Fri rather than wait till Monday, a slow return to get my brain back in work mode!! Will see how it goes.. I'm still booked for my ERPC tomorrow (7am at hospital, great!) but think I might have passed stuff today. If so, I seem to have got away with it lightly so I'm not holding my breath but here's hoping. Will still go tomorrow as they'll have to check anyway.

I had a little weep, but more relief I think. That's it's (hopefully) over and we can look ahead properly. Am okay now and even okay watching One Born Every Minute that I recorded from Weds.

Suddenly aware of how chunky I've become though, after stuffing pasties, chips, mountains of bread & cheese etc for the last month or so, bugger I feel a new start coming on, bit of exercise (within reason, not gonna go mad or anythin) and healthy eating, appreciating my friends and family and definately not stressing about stuff that doesn't matter, like work!!!

...sorry Loubloutwinmum I meant to ask how you are too..I hope a bit happier today xx

Hello. Well finally had scsn this morning, still stuff there so had ERPC feel amazingly better both mentally and physically and have eaten finally!!! Hope to be going home in a few hours - can't wait to cuddle DD.

Dorita, hope all goes well for you tomorrow, the passing bit isn't pleasant. Either way you'll be in good hands and the ERPC was fine.

LouBlou - I'm sry you had to deal with that too, but it made me feel better what you said, like it is normal to feel that way. I hope in time the memories will fade or be replaced by happier ones

Ethel - glad work went well for you.

Hope you are all feeling Ok, thx for your support. I know it was all a bit me, me, me yesterday but it helped just to share. Xx

Oh fingers crossed Hercule that is you sorted, physically at least. What an ordeal! Xxx