Hi again Angry - no, I don't mind you asking. Ask anything you like - I was desperate for information when it was me.
1st mc was 'straightforward' if you can get one of those, very early, probably only about 7 weeks. 2nd one (1st mmc) was at 12 weeks, as was 3rd one (2nd mmc). I'd had very early scans for all of them.
I managed to feel guilty about everything. I hadn't smoked, or had a drink, or done drugs, or gone paragliding, or any other thing you are warned about - so I decided there MUST have been something else I had done. I'd had healthy babies, so the fact that I was now having miscarriages meant it must be my fault. I'd loaded the washing machine, or got stressed at work, or missed breakfast one day - or a million other things that, of course, didn't cause it, but I needed a reason. Because if I had a reason, I could avoid it next time. You so desperately need something to cling onto, but there's nothing.
I think that you need to do what you need to do for you - if that makes sense. I live in a village too, so the fact that another woman said, about a week after the mmc - 'oooh, I hear congratulations are in order' was horrid, but it meant that telling her ensured everyone knew in about ten minutes.
What I then found awkward was everyone else telling me their mc stories, or their mum's, or their neighbour's - I make it a point now never to mention mine to anyone in RL if they are telling me of theirs, because it simply means that the person with the loss then has to comfort the other person for what they, their granny, or their hamster, went through much longer ago. I now that probably makes me sound a bit of a cow - but I am.
Look after yourself and hug your children lots - they are the best proof of how amazing your body has been, and how wonderful it can be again once these dark days are past.