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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

DD having a stillbirth

14 replies

helplessandemotional · 26/09/2011 16:46

Have namechanged for this.

I just do not know what to do, my beautiful DD has found out her baby has died inside her at just over 36weeks, and she now has to give birth vaginally as to deliver him. I just do not know what to do

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 26/09/2011 16:58

I'm so so sorry :( I have no advice but much sympathy and love to your DD and all the family. What an awful thing :(

OddBoots · 26/09/2011 16:59

So sorry to hear what you, your dd and your family are going through. I hope the midwives are offering her all the support she needs.

A few women here have given birth to stillborn children so I'm sure someone will be able to offer support. I know that Sands are very good for advice and comfort and that .

fraktious · 26/09/2011 17:00

I'm so sorry

Sending you, your DD and all your family lots of love and strength.

Purplebuns · 26/09/2011 17:10

So sorry for your loss :(

MrsDanverclone · 26/09/2011 17:39

So sorry for you and your family.

You will need to stay strong to support her through this traumatic time. Your daughter might find it a comfort in the future, if she has mementoes of her baby boy. When a close relative had a stillborn daughter, we put together a memory box which contained things such as hand and foot prints, a lock of her hair, the outfit she was dressed in after she was born and lots of photos. The hospital staff were lovely and allowed the parents and extended family, as much time as they needed, to say goodbye.

Sending you a hug and my thoughts are with you and your family, at this very sad time.

ImTheMap · 26/09/2011 18:13

im so sorry to hear this is happening to your family,

can you ask the hospital if they have a special midwife to help you get through this,

my thoughts are with you all x

planetpotty · 26/09/2011 18:19

So so sorry for you.

Your DD is going to need you to be very stong for her but make sure you have someone supporting you as well. Dont forget to be kind to yourself at this difficult time for you and your family. You will find a way though.

Thinking of you and your family.

sweetlucy · 26/09/2011 19:38

I'm so sorry about yours and your daughter's loss. My son was stillborn at 37 weeks last November.
I will forever be haunted by the couple of days I spent at the hospital, the birth, the days that followed.
My mum came a week after (she lives abroad), she held me, told me to be strong. She cooked for us, listened, distracted me, helped me make funeral arrangements, looked at the pictures of my baby with me, told me how perfect he was. It didn't take the pain away, but it helped so much to feel loved.
Take care of her.

pinkytheshrinky · 26/09/2011 19:44

Oh I am so sorry for you all, what a terrible thing to happen. I just cannot offer anything helpful, just be her Mummy and take care of her, remind her of how much you love her, how proud you are of how brave she is, she is going to need you now more than ever.

My love to you all and sorry for your loss x

sweetlucy · 26/09/2011 20:46

Another think that will help in the weeks to come is to let people (friends, neighbors...) know this happened so she doesn't get calls from people asking how her baby is.
It's incredibly tough when people ask how the baby is with a big smile on their faces.

pookiecat · 27/09/2011 12:51

What a terrible time you must all be having. Iam so sorry xx

greenzebra · 27/09/2011 14:56

I lost my baby to stillbirth at 36 weeks in April, I am so sorry that you have to go through this also. Your poor DD.
Its hard to know what to say everyone is different and everyone deals with grief differently. My in-laws and parents were great on the day very supportive.
Sands is a wonderful charity that has lots of advice to parents and grandparents. Have a look there.
In my experience, I found that I needed to go away after it had happened, we were living with my parents at the time so needed some space to ourselves so that we were not judged. It really helped as really I just wanted to run away.
Just be there for her when she needs it.
The hospital will help in every way, they will give them lots of reading to help them through it.
Sands has its own forum aswell

Be kind to yourself, and Im so sorry your DD has to go through this.

If you want to ask any difficult questions feel free to pm me, and I will try to answer them.

redfairy · 05/10/2011 22:47

I had stillborn twin boys at 34 weeks. I found the hardest thing was that my body still did the whole given birth bit, bleeding, breast milk coming in etc...I felt so uncomfortable and bereft.
I'm so sorry for your DD and your family.

Glitterybits · 06/10/2011 09:06

So very saddened to read this. Much love to you and your family at such a horribly difficult time.

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