climb aboard this bus called i was on "dec 11, jan 12, feb 12" etc- hear me now!!

[Mama5isalive]

I thought i would just start this thread for all of us who have sadly lost our seats on our previous buses, but still want to talk and share and move on in all different areas!

Please swipe your cards, pay your fare and share!!!!!!!!
all are welcome to the journey ending in "moving on street", "TTC avenue" or "let just wait and see walk "or ", "Its finally happened for me junction"

[puzzletree]

Hey catsy thought I'd find you on here too. So so sorry that the BFP didn't stick :(, I know you weren't convinced it'd work out but once you see that BFP I'm sure you can't help but think ahead, and after the miscarriage as well. Thinking of you. I hope the blood tests rule out a problem and it's just a case of trying again.

[lemontop]

catsy really sorry you didn't get a BFP.

I tested again this morning, got a BFN and bit of bleeding so looks like mine was a chemical too. Stupid bloomin mother nature. Grrrr.

I think I will give TTC a break for a while and just enjoy and be grateful for my lovely DS.

[tumblebug]

catsy and lemontop, so sorry.
Mill 6 weeks does sound a long time, hope it's all over much more quickly.

Scan this morning showed a small amount of tissue and clots, but nearly gone - but I should expect more bleeding (but shouldn't be too heavy or painful). However no further intervention required, so that's a relief.

I was told to take at least another week off work. A bit of a relief really, as I don't think I could manage going back tomorrow, and at least now I feel less guilty as it doesn't feel like my decision any more.

[Catsycat]

Thanks for being kind, everyone.

tumble I'm glad you don't need any further treatment.

lemontop, I'm really sorry this has happened to you too, it is just too horrible.

I had a bit of blood on wiping last night, which was why I thought AF had come, also feel crampy, and temp on my chart has gone low. But this morning there was nothing - phoned and made the appointment for the tests, thinking it would definitely start in earnest this morning, but still nothing. Really worried now - I never get spotting before a period, I'm never more than a day late. If I don't have the blood tests on friday, then I can't have them till next cycle as I'm not around next week. So that'll mean another wasted cycle before we can try again. I just feel completely panicked, and totally let down by my stupid body.

Will try to go to the doctors tomorrow, but my usual GP has been on holiday for a couple of weeks, and isn't back till the 25th, so will have to see someone who is just relying on my notes.

So glad and grateful that you are all here to listen - I feel like you are the only people who understand.

[rosalina72]

Catsy and Lemontop so sorry this is happening to you. Would you be able to call your GP and ask them to send you to the EPU to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy/or chemical pregnancy? I just think under the circumstances, you shouldn't have to go through all this worry and upset.

Tumble, glad to hear you don't need any more treatment. Hopefully it's almost over.

[rosalina72]

Catsy, I forgot to mention that I like your idea of the memory book with all your pregnancy stuff. I feel a bit bad that I never did anything for my first. I was in so much shock and I was naive. I didn't have a clue about mc. All these years and I still think about what could have been, I catch myself wondering what they would have looked like, what they would have been like, etc. And it's been 14 years!!
I think I will do something to mark this one and the other one too. I think it will help me move on properly.

[Catsycat]

Hi rosalina. I think I will go to see one of the other GPs tomorrow - there is a nice female GP there who always gives you as much time as you need. Another of the male GPs is a gynae specialist, but seriously after I'd seen him for 2 minutes he was shooing me towards the door last time, really unsubtley - I was still asking him something at the time too!

I had thought of phoning the EPU nurse at Warwick, as I have her mobile number and she has pretty much said I can phone when I need her. But I don't know there'd be anything visible yet on a transvaginal scan, as I'd be not even 4 weeks yet with my stupid 23 day cycle (am on day 27 which is unheard of since DD1's birth). Even DH doesn't think I've gone mad now! Still no AF and no more spotting - will have to phone the GP to cancel the tests I booked at this rate. Why is everything so complicated???

Glad you liked the idea of the memory book, btw. :)

How are you travelling lemontop? Do you have a full on AF now (hope you don't mind me asking such a personal question BTW)? I hope you are OK.

[lemontop]

Hi Catsy. Yeah it's full on AF now. I was really upset yesterday but actually quite relieved today that I know for sure and that it didn't turn into more of a 'proper' pregnancy if you know that I mean. Hope you find out what is going on soon.

[tumblebug]

Catsy, it all sounds really stressful. I hope you manage to see the GP and they're helpful.

Hope everyone else is having an OK day.
DS is back at nursery, I miss him but trying to entertain him for 2 days without going anywhere or doing anything has been really hard. So far I've had a really lazy morning, and feeling loads better for it. Bleeding is really light now - of course after the scan yesterday I'm worried that I'm not bleeding enough!

Thanks everyone for being here to chat, it has made such a difference being able to talk about all of this.

[lemontop]

tumblebug hope the lighter bleeding means it will be over for you soon.

I went to see the doc today as my forehead has randomly swollen up with what I think is about 8 mosquito bites really close to each other. I look terrible! While I was there I chatted to her about the miscarriage and chemical pregnancy. She said she would encourage me to just keep trying and thought it was probably just bad luck. She also said if I get pregnant again I should go and see her straight away to confirm it as there are 'things they can do', which sounds ominous but positive.

I am not sure what to do. Part of me thinks we should take a break from TTC but speaking to the doc makes me think we should just get on with it. I might have to convince DH. It's been such a summer of bad luck. I'm almost looking forward to going back to work on Monday and seeing the end of it!

[Catsycat]

Hi tumble it sounds like things are going in the right direction for you, which is great.

lemontop, sorry about what is happening. i wonder if your GP meant something like putting you on Cyclogest? Hope your forehead is OK.

I have no clue what is happening now. No more bleeding, since the spotting on monday night. I had a really faint + this morning, so I was completely freaked out and went to the GP. She was really nice, but did another test (not with fmu though) and of course that was -. I said was it a chemical pregnancy (I want it on my medical record in case it happens again), and she said the tests could not have been + , it must have been a faulty batch giving false positives. On three different makes of test ???? I showed her my chart, and she agreed on a 23 day cycle that would make ov very late on. I showed her the temp dropping on the chart a couple of days ago, and she agreed if I was pg it should have stayed high. I asked what was going on, and what I should do next, and she said I was probably just getting my normal period, and not to retest or worry unless I don't get AF for another 2 weeks!!!!! So basically a bit of a wasted morning. :(

[puzzletree]

Catsy wow, how confusing. I guess you do just have to wait this out a while longer and see what happens. Maybe all the recent stress and hormone craziness has messed up your cycle a bit. Or maybe just maybe you are pregnant after all..? Hang on in there x

[Catsycat]

And I am so bad at waiting! You probably noticed. I have a bit of a rep with my antenatal class friends of being a bit impatient / perfectionist / generally high maintenance. So this is basically driving me nuts! Have put a post on the conception board to see if anyone has had similar.

BTW, re my last rather abrupt post about cyclogest, a good friend had a mc before her DC1, and when she was pg again went to the GP, and he gave her cyclogest with no other reason than previous mc (she hadn't had any tests / exams to show she particularly needed it). He said it would help the baby implant better and make her uterus more "lush"! She does indeed have a healthy 4 year old now! Probably should have explained that, rather than just throw the suggestion out there like that (wasn't implying there was anything wrong with you or anything!!!!).

[Catsycat]

Sorry, forgot to put that the second bit of that post was aimed at lemontop!!! Am definitely losing it today.

[lemontop]

catsycat sorry you still have no answers. It must be doing your head in.

The doc didn't go into details but was really supportive and was keen for me to come and see her as soon as I find out I'm PG. I hadn't heard of Cyclogest, but yeah I imagine it would be to give me something like that. She also said she would refer me to a recurrent miscarriages clinic if I have another one :( but generally just told me to get on with it and was all 'third time lucky!'

[Catsycat]

Glad your doc is nice and supportive lemontop. Hopefully when my GP comes back from his hols, I'll be able to talk to him and get whatever this is put on my record properly! It is completely doing my head in... just spent the whole day on MN or Dr Google rather than doing the cleaning. What a waste of a day (really p*ed off with myself!!).

[philbee]

Hi all. I know i am rubbish and only turn up when i need something. Tbh i've been trying to not think about the mc and just get on with other stuff so this thread is both a comfort and a bit hard for me. But have a few worries atm and hoping someone can advise if poss please.

I've had first AF now, and all normal, finished after about 5 days. But a day or so after that DH and i had a bit of ahem in the evening, although no actual you know what (I know there are acronyms etc for all this but i can't remember them). Then i had bad cramps in the night as i was dealing with waking child, and bleeding came back, very light, for a few days. Is this normal?

My tummy is also still pretty big, despite my losing weight over rest of my body and exercising a fair amount. I was 12 wks at mc, and that was about 7 wks ago. Am hoping it's just fat, but a friend said her friend had an mc and swollen tummy and it was retained stuff from being pg and she haemorrhaged months later. So am feeling a bit worried about that too. That's it. Again, sorry to only come with questions.

[puzzletree]

Philbee, good to hear from you but sorry you're feeling worried. This is the place to share your worries so don't feel bad about that!
Do you get a BFN on preg test? And do you feel ok otherwise?
The period I just had post-MC was pretty normal except it was weirdly mucousy, and I'm still pretty flabby of tummy. Sorry if this is too personal, but how old are you? My friend and I, we're 34 and 35 were just saying how we seem to have developed bellies now that just won't go away. We're both slim and have gone back to pretty flat tummies after full-term pregnancies, but think age has now caught up with us and belly wobble is hard to shift!
However I didn't get extra bleeding or cramps which are a bit concerning. Will be interesting to hear what the others have experiencd.
Don't panic unless you start feeling unwell (ie possible infection) but I'd get it checked out even though it's probably just your body settling down again; go see your gp on monday or ring the EPU.
Take care of yourself

[philbee]

Thanks puzzletree. I'm 34, and i always had a bit of a belly, even at my fittest. If i pull my tummy in the muscles do pull in, and then there's just fat over the top, so i guess if there was something wrong the muscles wouldn't pull in ? My period was also weirdly mucousy, although i didn't think much of it.

I've not done a pg test, couldn't really face it and didn't seem necessary as last scan only showed blood left and i stopped bleeding about a week later, so it seemed to be done really. I think I'll call the EPU and ask them, and hopefully they'll just say it's normal and i won't have to go and see anyone. Thank you, that's reassured me.

[Catsycat]

Hi philbee. I did get a tiny bit more bleeding about a day after AF had stopped, just very light spotting for a couple of days, but no cramps. I also had a mucousy first AF. I have a very fat belly anyway, especially after 2 CS, so can't really help with that side, I'm afraid (I've been looking pg for years). I felt any extra pg belly went down after a couple of weeks, but I had only just been starting to show anyway.

I would have thought an infection would make you feel ill - do you have a temperature at all, or is your belly tender to the touch? Like puzzletree says, I would phone the EPU or see your GP next week just to check it out. I have been to the GP and phoned EPU several times following my mc, as it is a worrying time.

Hope you can get some reassurance soon. Take care.

[Mama5isalive]

Hi all - Tumblebug im so glad that treatment is not needed and that you can begin to heal and move on one day at a time, rest from work is good.
Rosalina- memory box is good, i dont have much to put in t apart from letters about a scan and midwife notes. hope you find a nice way for you to mark your memories no matter how much time has passed.
Lemontop- sorry for you your AF turning up, you seem to be dealing with it well, i hope all goes well for you and over very soon.
Philbee - no real answers took ages for me to feel i could do anything with dh!
i agree with others talk to EPU or Gp to get some peace of mind!
lol - on subject of flat bellies haha whats that! i aint been flat since mid 20's went a bit pear shaped size 12 after dc2 then with dc3 upto size 14/16!!!!!!
but wouldnt mind but its a constant reminder that im not pregnant so no excuses not to get fit or die trying!

[tumblebug]

Hi! Tried to do a bit more today - had a haircut (she dried it straight - first time ever I think - hardly recognise myself) then went to see a couple of houses. Couldn't believe how tired I was after -was starting to feel guilty again about time off work, but realise again that I couldn't manage it yet. Went to bed early with headache then phone rang -work couldn't get hold of colleague covering me, really urgent, could I help? really complex problem, ended up turning on computer so thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing! (Sorry whinge over now). Still getting stronger every day and bleeding down to spotting now.

philbee yes would expect pain/ fever/ generally feeling unwell if infection (but if miscarriage incomplete would put you at risk). I was advised at EPU to do a repeat pg test a week after bleeding stops, and that it would still be positive if any pregnancy tissue remained (and to contact them in that situation). Would a BFN reassure you over the weekend? MIght be worth checking if you could face it. The EPU have been really helpful when I have called for advice - agree that it's worth calling them.

Re the tummy thing - I've always had a bit of a tummy too, more since DS, but had a definite bump last week (was it really only last week?), all gone now - I guess loss of tissue and hormones. (I'm 33). I'm a bit worried how I'll react if anyone comments I've 'lost weight'.

Catsy any news today? hope you're feeling OK. I know what you mean about waiting - when I was told to wait a week before pg test and TTC i thought a week sounded such a long time! Difficult to have perspective when I just want to be pregnant again. Lemontop, convincing DH... maybe best not to let him think about it too much, I'm sure there are ways!!! (Only joking, but my DH doesn't seem so sure either. When we first found out I was miscarrying on the scan our immediate reaction was 'we'll try again', but we didn't realise at the time how physically difficult it would be).

Mama5 hope you're still having a good week, have you started packing up the house yet? A job I'm not looking forward to...

While writing this have had another work call! But sounds like I'm covered for almost all of the weekend now, so that should help.

[Mama5isalive]

Hi Tumblebug - yehhhhh new haircut, booooo work bothering you!!!!!!!
went out looking for new sofa's and wardrobes and tv units ahhhhhhh its doin my head in its just not fun also need to put loads in storage so the whole moving goes better! i now wished i could hire staff!!!!!!!
was suppose to go to a Baby shower today but really cant face it! do you think thats silly? my DH couldnt understand seeing that all our friends and family will be there but its just too soon! i guess would be feeling better if i was still or was now newly pregnant! i know i would be having something to look forwards too but all that seem so far right now! whingeeeeeeeeee old fart!!!!! yeh feel so bbbbbbbbbbblllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
along with my cramps hav back ache now!!!!!! great!!!!!!

[Catsycat]

Hi everyone. Well, no different news here. Day 31 of my 23 day cycle!!!!! Still a bit of spotting, but literally it is once or twice a day just on the TP, every day since Monday. Just brown spotting, but the last lot yesterday was a bit more - I thought AF was definitely here, but then it had stopped next time I went to the loo. Then I wondered if the spotting had been a bit more because I had been standing up for nearly 3 hours doing the ironing (grrrrr!). Had quite a bad stomach ache yesterday, and was feeling quite hot, also had to lie down again in the morning as I was really tired, but I have got a hideous throat at the moment, which has given me stomach ache in the past, so hard to tell if it has anything to do with AF / lack thereof. Have had + and - tests yesterday and today (2 + and 1 - yesterday, all from same sample; and 1 + and 1 prob - (very very very faint line????) this morning from the same sample). I'm going to need a bank loan for all the PTs. There definitely seems to be some HcG coming from somewhere, as the tests are picking up something, but they aren't really getting any darker than a week ago, so that can't be good. Temp chart is still at post ov high levels, not dropped down again to AF low. The low temp blip on monday is looking more like an implantation dip as time goes on. I really do feel that I am / have been pg, but that it will be an early mc and am just waiting... :(

mama5, I do love shopping for furniture, but I know what you mean - when you HAVE to do it, it is a bit less fun! Hope everything is going well in preparation for the move (can remember how stressful it all was from 4 1/2 years ago when we moved!!). I can understand the baby shower being less than fun at the moment - completely understandable! Hopefully you will have your own good news soon, and everything will get easier in that department.

tumble are you a fellow curly like me then? :) Glad you are feeling stronger. Hope your work stuff was sorted out fairly quickly, and they stopped bothering you! I know I wasn't back up to full strength till a couple of weeks ago (probably still not, but am strong enough to fake it most of the time). Though I'm not working at the moment, I know I couldn't have done yet.

[tumblebug]

Catsy how confusing, hope you're ok and not too upset - when you just need a bit of normality.

Yes I'm a curly, washed it yesterday so back to my normal self, bit short but will grow.

Mama5 not silly at all, if you can't face the baby.shower no reason you should go, you wouldn't feel comfortable so wouldn't enjoy it. You're doing well with the furniture looking before you've even moved, we never got most of the furniture we planned to for this house, been here 4 years!

Saw another house today, really nice but with reservations. Been working a bit but v quiet, will do a bit from home next couple of days to ease myself into it and relieve guilt (know I shouldn't feel guilty really), then go back fully on Thursday. Why does it take so much out of you? Must be hormones I guess as main pain, bleeding etc was a week ago.