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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

climb aboard this bus called i was on "dec 11, jan 12, feb 12" etc- hear me now!!

402 replies

Mama5isalive · 18/07/2011 23:43

I thought i would just start this thread for all of us who have sadly lost our seats on our previous buses, but still want to talk and share and move on in all different areas!

Please swipe your cards, pay your fare and share!!!!!!!!Wink
all are welcome to the journey ending in "moving on street", "TTC avenue" or "let just wait and see walk "or ", "Its finally happened for me junction"

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rosalina72 · 04/08/2011 15:50

Catsy, if you've only had one miscarriage I wouldn't worry too much about it happening again as it is sadly very very common and having one doesn't necessarily indicate that there's a problem. I've also read that tracking your temperature is not as accurate as tracking the cm. By the sounds of it it looks like you're ovulating now or very soon.

I think it's good that you're having tests though just to put your mind at ease. If there is an underlying issue like the short LP there should be treatment for that.

Try not to stress too much and I'm sure you're no where near menopause!!! There's time yet for us oldies!! :)

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Catsycat · 04/08/2011 16:29

Thanks Rosalina for your lovely reply . Feeling a bit emotional today!

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Mama5isalive · 04/08/2011 17:07

hi all - big massive wave to all aboard this bus, singing and chanting" we r going to have babies very soon, we r going to have babies very soon"

well dont know what to say but i went to the loo and wiped and saw some dark blood ermmmmm so im confused have i already had my first AF since the op and this was on the 27th July ended sunday gone, so why today am i bleeding!!!!!!!Confused! anyone someone tell me im not crazy and all is well!!!!!!!!

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Catsycat · 04/08/2011 18:56

Hi mama5 I had a bit of spotting a couple of days after the end of AF this month - I put it down to things still settling after the mc, but will look into it further if it goes on.

I have also had dark brownish blood on wiping (but not this month) around when I ovulate in recent months, so I wonder if you are ovulating? If you have EWCM too then it could be this...

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lemontop · 04/08/2011 21:00

Hi all

Hope you are all OK today. Have a bit of a weird dilemma re MC 'paperwork'. My DH took a day off sick to come with A&E with me when I was miscarrying. His company are now demanding a letter of proof-despite previously saying they would put it down as compassionate leave. :( I don't particularly want his bosses reading all my personal stuff but to make matters worse I can't find any of the paperwork!!! I had put it somewhere very safe and have literally searched everywhere but it's nowhere to be found. Do you think the EPU will send some sort of proof out again if I ring them? I'm hoping I've temporarily gone mad and will remember where I put it soon because I feel gutted as in a way that was my only real 'proof' that it happened. :(

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puzzletree · 04/08/2011 21:44

wow lemontop can't believe your DH work are being so awkward about this. my DH took a couple of days off with no problems. also I didn't get any paperwork from the hospital at all. but my GP was informed so it's on my medical record there. perhaps your GP could print/write something for you? or as you say EPU might be able to send something.

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lemontop · 04/08/2011 22:29

It's pathetic really for one day off work. He's been there for years! Good idea to chat to GP. Ideally I'd like something with as few personal details as possible. Grrr

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greengoose · 05/08/2011 14:50

Hi all. I think this might be the bus for me... Just got back from EPU this afternoon, and it appears I have been booted off the due March2012 bus. I was only 6weeks along, and they said it should start to come away by itself over the next few days. I dont know what to expect, as last time around I had the op when I miscarried. We already have two wonderful boys, so thats keeping me sane right now, I know how lucky I am.
We want to try again straight away, although Im a bit exhausted by the ride right now. My DP has bought me lots of chocolate and books to get me through the next few days. Im not sure who is going to get him through though...

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greengoose · 05/08/2011 14:53

Lemontop, your DH is entitled to a certain amount of compassionate leave per year, and Im sure he doesnt have to provide written proof when its only one day. I can see it might not be worth rocking the boat though. Like puzzletree said, it would prob be best just to ask your GP, they can be very vague when you ask them!

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Mama5isalive · 05/08/2011 15:37

Hi all - lemontop that sounds mad! and how awful that DH work need proof!!!!!!
for 1 day they have no compassion at all with the circumstances and all that!
i have not been back since june just before the dreaded scan!!!! dont feel guilty now my gp signed me off till september!!!!!!
welcome sadly - greengoose - im sorry to find you riding on this bus,but relax and get as comfy as you like. How are you feeling about it all, 6 weeks and it being your 2nd right! so sorry. i had an erpc at just over 12 weeks had the op couldnt bear to deal with being pregnant any longer!!!!
im glad you have other dc to keep you busy and a lovely dp!!!! chocolate yummy!
ttc sounds great!!!!!
ive been on my wiifit and loving it DH bought it for me when i complained about my body still looking pregnant! on my way to my target i set!

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puzzletree · 05/08/2011 19:14

Hi greengoose really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Hope it isn't too traumatic when you actually lose the blood and tissue, it can be quite heavy and painful so look after yourself and get medical attention if you need it.
I've got two lovely boys too and totally agree that they help keep you going and remind you how lucky you are in the grand scheme of things. You've got a good DP there. I also spent the days following the miscarriage reading trashy books in bed. I've got a kindle so just downloaded a few of the really cheap ones. It was just what was needed, a mindless distraction from life for a bit.
Regarding ttc, there are a few of us getting back into it pretty quickly, so join us when you're ready, on here or on the conception boards.
mama5 well done for getting on with the wiifit, I really ought to do some exercise, haven't really got any excuses now!

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Catsycat · 05/08/2011 19:33

Hi greengoose sorry to hear you've had to join us - we're a pretty nice bunch though! Just to second puzzletree's advice to get medical attention if needed. I'm glad you are being looked after by DP.

lemontop, hope you manage to sort it out with DH's work. They sound a bit jobsworthy - not fun having to sort that all out too.

Spoke to the lab manager at the hospital yesterday, as STILL no remains being handed over. He knew what it was about as soon as I told him my name, and promised to arrange the return of the remains with the EPAU nurse. I'm going there on Tuesday to see the dermatologist, so am hoping to combine the two tasks into one trip, as it's a 45 minute drive each way to the hospital...

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greengoose · 06/08/2011 09:54

Thanks for the welcome ladies! Im just waiting it out now... nothing much happening. (blood stopped again over night, but bad cramps still). I feel a bit numb.
I got an ebay reminder this morning about a mountain buggy (Why did I save that search)???? Its thrown me a bit. Feeling crap to be honest. Want this over so we can try again. I think next time (if there is) I will be a complete wreck and not feel at all preg, just feel 'waiting to loose it'. Dont know how to feel hopeful right now....
I hadnt told anyone, but I have a bit of a problem, because the day before I MC'd I cancelled my place in a sponsered sea swim that was due for when I would have been 11 weeks, so I would just have told people on that day. Now I cant do it, and I have to give a reason. Im really letting my friends down by not doing it, but I dont want to tell the whole world that Ive MC'd.
Isnt it odd how I can talk to you lot who I have never met, yet there is a taboo about telling the people who I know in the RW?? Maybe I just need to tell them. Hell.

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Mama5isalive · 07/08/2011 09:39

Ahhhh greengoose - thats so nice that your thinking of others while your dealing with your real and painful loss! i would tell at least one of your friends just so they know the reasons i wouldnt lie its no shame you have and are dealing with a real loss and it should be addressed! and i do believe you really wanted to be a part of it is there something else you can do to help instead!
i went out yesterday and was around 3 very large pregnant friends and was a bit hard but im glad i can face them and even feel baby moving! i do believe i will get pregnant again!!!!!!!!
had a scan reminder come in also from a private clinic so was upset about that would of been my 20 weeks scan!!!!!!!!! oh well life and those Big reminders of what would of been. ( like the ebay buggy thing)
big hugs to you xxxxx all

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lemontop · 07/08/2011 13:23

Hi greengoose. Sorry this has happened to you. I was also on the March thread as sudocremdelacreme (had name changed just in case...) and had MC at similar number of weeks. I hope you are feeling OK. Your DH sounds lovely. I agree that you should tell your friends, but in your own time. There's no rush to do it straight away.

mama I'm glad you could be around your pregnant friends. Sending positive vibes that you get pregnant soon.

Good news is that DH doesn't have to show any letter, which is just as well as he had decided to tell them to stick it, anyway! Think his bosses realised they were being a bit jobsworthy. My MIL came to babysit yesterday so me and DH went out for a meal and had a really nice time. I am determined to make the most of my last two weeks of holiday. I won a competition for a family to visit Longleat on here recently so might try and go there next weekend or the week after.

I'm wondering if my AF is on the way. Had a bit of PMT type symptoms so hopefully won't be too long. Think we are going to start TTC pretty quickly. It's not perfect because the first teaching term after summer is a stressy nightmare, but I've given up trying to plan for the perfect time. It took me 5 months to conceive my DS and my most recent pregnancy so better get cracking!

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greengoose · 07/08/2011 17:15

Hi all. lemontop glad you had a nice meal out! And that the bosses at DH's work are being a little less unhelpful. Longleat is great, I highly recommend it as a not too stressy day out!
We are also going to try again as soon as we can too. I dont think there is a 'right time' and even if there was Ive given up thinking I have very much control over it. I deliberately waited until June to start trying so I could have a Spring baby.... That seems a little blind of me, both in thinking it was going to happen so fast (which it did) and thinking it would stick.... I think I was just scared after last MC in Nov... And now Ive waisted those months I could have been trying... Oh well, we will wait for this to finish and then I feel I want to view it as a 'false start' (when they scanned me on Fri they couldnt even find a sac....so Im not feeling like I lost more than my dreams this time around) and get on with trying properly. (still not having anything more than period type bleeding and pain, so I might feel differently if it all gets horrible).
Hope you are all enjoying the weekend!

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freedom2011 · 07/08/2011 23:52

Can I join? Was due March 2012. Miscarried today after 5 days of heavy bleeding and had an immediate D&C. Only 8 weeks in but still felt a massive wave of sadness for what might have been when the doctor confirmed it. It was first pregnancy after 2 years of trying to conceive. I've moved from TTC thread, to March due date thread to miscarriage thread in the space of less than 2 weeks and I'm feeling a bit confused and battered with it all.

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Mama5isalive · 08/08/2011 03:30

oh freedom2011 im so very sorry for your loss, i cant imagine how your feeling that you have moved from 3 threads in such a short space of time!
and after 2 years of TTC - my thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours.
be good to yourself and talk to your DP/DH because your going to need each other to get through!

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Mama5isalive · 08/08/2011 03:39

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - ds3 feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks
Greengoose -DSx2 Mar bus - mc 6 weeks
Freedom2011 -bus Mar - mc 8 weeks.

just thought i would update the stats so we know each others history.
please correct if wrong!!!!!

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Mama5isalive · 08/08/2011 19:48

im having a "zumba party workout" in my front room with DD17 having so much fun trying to ignore the madness on the news all over and around us! the world has gone mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this workout might give me energy for later for my DH!!!!

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Catsycat · 08/08/2011 21:11

mama5 and lemontop hope you're both OK - watching Reeves corner go up on the news, and hoping you and your families are safe xx

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Mama5isalive · 09/08/2011 01:46

ahhh thanks catsycat - im in a residential area so no where near town centre, but its pretty awful watching places you know and visted going up in smoke!
i can hear sirens and helicopters! been speaking to family members all are safe although quite close to the action!!!! woolwich being raided i could hear it whilst on the phone to my sister! crazy!!!!!!!!

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Catsycat · 09/08/2011 10:01

Glad you're OK mama5. My DH's cousin has a shop in the market, so I'm hoping he is OK too. DH spoke to his mum last night, and everyone was OK then. SIL and her children live off London Road, but nearer to Thornton Heath pond than the town centre, so hoping the chaos didn't make it that far. Just scared me to death seeing the tram tracks burning outside Reeves, and seeing buildings I recognised and used to drive past daily burnt out. So sorry for everyone who has had their lives disrupted by this.

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lemontop · 09/08/2011 10:08

I'm fine thanks catsycat. Hope your family are all OK. I'm in Gipsy Hill so a fair way away, but was glued to the TV watching it all. Even some of our local shops got smashed up and looted. I'm worried it's just going to go on and on.

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Catsycat · 09/08/2011 10:22

Glad to hear you're OK lemontop. Can't believe how widespread this has become. I really hope it stops soon.

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